Revenge - Padma Thorne

Sorry for the hiatus, things have been pretty crazy of late, anyway...  On with the show.

Over the last couple of weeks some crazy stuff has been going on like normal, but I'm going to be honest I haven't been as much of a fan of these story lines has I was last year.  It just seems like Emily is just kind of there, and the Greyson's are futzing around, add in the stupid Declan thief story and you just have some flat plots.  Nothing like last year where Emily was knocking people down left and right.  To me they need to crank up the intensity a little bit, and that may have came last night from a couple directions.

The first little piece of intensity  to me comes from Mason Tredwell, this guy is like a cockroach, nothing kills him and he just keeps popping up.  Last night was the revelation that he knows that Amanda is not Amanda, granted that doesn't point the finger at Emily but it will make for an interesting twist if that information comes out.  The most important impact coming from Jack, how would he react if he found out that Amanda was not whom he thought she was, he's already kind of on the edge right now.  If Jack doesn't take it well does that mean that Amanda decides to run off aboard Jack's boat and end up at the bottom of the ocean?  I'm going with yes there.

And while I'm on the topic of Jack, let me tangent for a minute.  What is the deal with his two BILLIONAIRE friends not helping him out with the problem with opening the bar?  I mean at the very least couldn't they offer him up a loan?  Sure Jack is a proud guy, but come on it's pocket change for Emily and Nolan.  Oh well if Revenge has taught us anything, it's that rich people like their money, and they aren't about helping unless there is an agenda behind it.

Back to Amanda, I can't really imagine that there will be too much of an impact with the Greyson's, I mean they should be relieved to learn that it's not Amanda.  Then again, now that crazy Kara has appeared, that might not really matter anymore.  It just seems like Amanda's purpose on the show is quickly running out.

On to interesting topic number two, Nolan's little assistant.  This character makes me wish that I had been writing the last couple of weeks because she is interesting.  There was a part of me that was hoping that she might be a good guy on the show, but it seems more likely that she has a very very nasty agenda of her own. My best theory for her is that she is the reverse of Emily last season, meaning that we got to see Emily behind the scenes so we knew what she was up to while the characters on the show had no idea about her true identity.  My thought is that we are seeing the fake side of Padma but she has her own plot of revenge against Nolan.  Go back to the last episode where she found the check from David Clarke, she brought up another company and asked Nolan about a lawsuit with them.  Nolan brushed it off in his "I'm awesome" way, my guess is that the heads of that other company didn't fare too well after the lawsuit and that Padma was related to them.  Now she is out for revenge on Nolan.  It looks like some of that came out this episode as Padma was digging deeper into the David Clarke check at Greyson Global.  Maybe she is just a really diligent accountant, but I'm guessing not.

Which leads us to Aiden and his comment to Daniel that potentially the money used to finance Nolan's company came from Greyson Global, giving them a controlling interest in Nolan's company.  Aiden, you're an asshole.  I'm not sure what his agenda is but I guess that he is sick of Emily pushing him away, which is another issue, what the hell is her beef with him, or anyone trying to help her for that matter.  She was a bitch to Nolan all last season, and now Aiden has gone about trying to help her here as well.  Sure he was more interested in keeping her on task in bringing down the Greysons while she was looking for her mother, but really, there wasn't time for both?  Either way it now looks like Aiden is taking over the plot to destroy the Greysons and he doesn't care how he does it, sorry Nolan, you're going to have a bad season.

Now let's talk about crazy Kara, that chick is coo-coo for coco-puffs.  I really don't know what to make of her at this point other than a plot device, which is kind of sad actually.  There is a lot of potential there to use the character for something, but as of right now it just looks like a stir it up piece.  We'll have to see how it plays out, but I'm not really that interested in her at the moment, which is also probably why this season has been as awesome to me as of yet.  Good, just not Great!

I think that the next episode is going to have a good deal of fireworks in it.  I don't think that we'll get the revelation that Amanda isn't Amanda quite yet to the general public, but might we see someone else find out who Emily really is?  There are enough people close enough at this point to discover whom she is, Mason, Kara, Aiden.  My hunch is that someone will find out, but then die before it can get out.  The revelation about whom Emily is seems like a season 3 piece of information.

Now then since a number of characters on the show really need to die, let's make a list of whom needs to die next, because it's going to happen, it's just a matter of time.

Kara - She is just annoying.  I figure as she is dying Emily reveals to her the truth.
Aiden - I kind of like the character actually, but my hunch is that Emily has to take him out to protect Nolan.
Amanda - I still think that she goes down with the ship.
Charlotte - She's dumber than a box of rocks, "Mom, I guess you really have changed."  dumbass
Declan - He can go down with the ship too for all I care.
Ashley - Does she have a point anymore?

Anyway what does everyone else think?

Revenge - Emily is Ninja Style

Welcome back my friends, how was your summer?  Hopefully it was a good one.  But alas we're not here to talk about pleasantries we're here to talk about some Revenge.  First let's jump back to the questions that I listed right after the finale.

Is Victoria dead?  No.  Woohoo!   I'm a winner!  Turns out that Victoria is in the witness protection program, I'm giving myself bonus points for nailing witness protection too.

Is Lydia dead?  We don't know, but if Victoria is alive it's likely that she is too.

Will Daniel and Ashley hook up?  Yes

I'm 3 for 3 so far

Will Jack find out the truth about Emily?  No, and guess what it's going to get even more twisted then before, just wait...

Charlotte dead?  Nope, that one was pretty easy though.

Will the government continue it's case against Conrad?  Yes they will.  I got this one wrong.  In hindsight it should have been easy to guess that one if I had already said "witness protection".  I'll give myself negative points for not proof reading my theories.

Mr. Takada?  I was right that we'd see him pretty quick, but what happen the ninja master get cancer or something, where is his hair?  Maybe the guilt of knowing that he fathered Amanda's baby is just too much for him...  Yeah right, that ain't happening.

And that about wraps up the guesses from last year, I'd say I did pretty well, I'll give myself a round of applause, how pitiful, I'm clapping for myself.  "Charlotte! What's the name of your dealer?  I am having some issues".

Ok enough history let's fire up the flux capacitor, hit 88 miles per hour and do some flash forwarding.  We open the season with a boat, the Amanda no less, at the bottom of the ocean.  And we it looks like someone lost an arm on board her.  So since we're firing things up lets fire up the wheel of crazy guesses for the first time this season.  First question, "Who's missing an arm?"

The easy guess would be Jack, but really that's just too easy.  Decklan? Like we'd care.  Nolan, nah Nolan is awesome.  There is the off chance that it could be the white haired guy, but I'm putting my money down on something a whole lot more twisted, Amanda...

I know you're shocked.  Take a moment to regain your breath, I'll wait for you...

Ready?  Ok good.  It has to be Amanda, don't let the man's shirt fool you, it's Amanda.  Here is the theory.  In the show this evening they made the comment that it was 4 weeks until her due date (they said it, go check your DVRs), the first thing we see after the arm is Emily doing her best impression of a pier support and int he caption it says, "Three months earlier".  I'm guessing that the boat will be found at the bottom of the ocean mid season, similar to how the engagement party was mid season last season, so if the timeline holds, that would put the ship sinking around Labor Day, the same as the engagement party last season.  What that means is that Amanda will have had the baby by then and it will be about 2 months old, so while slight there is possibility that Amanda jumped on the boat with baby in tow in an effort to run away from things.  No the baby isn't dead, don't worry about that, there is no way that the baby could be harmed, after all, who is the Godmother???

That's right ladies and gentlemen the best twist of the evening was dished up by Emily herself, unbeknownst to her of course.  But can't you just see it.  Jack alone trying to raise a baby child and the only help that he gets coming from, you guessed it, Emily the now Godmother of the baby!!!  We'll get to see Emily and Jack bound together, in love with each other, Jack in grief thinking that Amanda was the same Amanda of old, so I can just imagine that he'll be doing a lot of brooding.  Emily not able to tell him the truth and spare him some of the pain (not that it really would) because she'll be endangering her plans of finding her mother.  And with how Emily has been genuinely concerned about Charlotte, you know Emily will do the right thing.  It's going to be a laugh a minute in that dysfunctional household.  But wait it gets better...

Apparently the writers figured out that no one likes bad Daniel so we got to see a depressed Daniel wondering if he might have done the wrong thing with Emily in breaking things off.  Oh sure (Conrad voice) he'll say that he's over her because she cheated, but once he finds out about his pops with Ashley I'm sure that he'll find Emily a much better option.  Besides he really does care about her, and without his mommy dearest there to discourage him, he might develop feelings again for her.  I'm pretty much bet on it.  Emily needs a way to get in with the Grayson's (Don't think that Victoria is really going to work there) so why not go down the Daniel path again, you know for the next 3 months until, you know, she has to go play house with Jack in order to raise a baby.

This show is so over the top, and it knows it, that's why it's great.

Oh let's put a little icing on the raising the baby cake too.  Jack and baby have to move in with Emily to raise the baby because you know it's just not right to raise a baby in a bar, Decklan even said so, thanks Deck!

Should we get into Emily's little Batgirl / League of Shadows training course?  Naw toss that one on the back burner for a while.  (I couldn't resist the reference).

How about Conrad trying to screw over his kids for their trusts?  ...

Am I missing anyone?  Oh my I almost forgot Robin, living it up at the Batcave.  In other words Nolan.  Good to see old Nolan working out a little, sure he won't be all ninja ready, but at least he might be able to handle himself a little more.  I'm figuring that he'll end up saving Emily at some point this season as a result of his little bit of training.  Hey they say it only takes a couple months for that P90X to work so who knows.  After the way episode 1 ended I'm guessing that his first lines in episode 2 are going to be that he is out looking for a new place to stay since white hair is going to be coming after Emily.  We missed you Nolan, please don't go sailing.

And before I forget I can't leave without bringing up Emily's trip to Silent Hill (no I don't expect anyone to get that reference, but I will thank Nolan for bringing up flesh eating zombies, apparently I was on the same page as the writers, scary I know).  The question came up, "How were they able to find a visitor register?"  My take is that when the Grayson's closed the place down, all of the files were taken out as well, but not the copier for some odd reason...  Anyway who would think of grabbing a visitor register from behind the reception desk?  It's a pretty low priority item when you think about it, so I could see it still sitting there.  There isn't really much to speculate on the state of Emily's mom at this point, we're led to believe that she was crazy, but I doubt that's the case, I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

One more puzzling question.  The white haired guy knows who Emily is, he knows what she is capable of, and he has stayed away, why wouldn't he say something to Victoria...  Once again, Victoria is one step behind the rest of the players, she thinks that she is in control, but in reality she's behind in the game.  Any takers in thinking that the white haired guy is a part of the ninja squad too?  Maybe he's on the other ninja team, he's apart of Cobra Kai dojo, you know, "Sweep the leg."  (Karate Kid, anyone?)  So what are all these ninja masters up to?  (Yes I know they aren't all ninjas, but I'm having fun here).  Going back to last season it seemed like a likely theory that they might be the terrorist organization that Conrad was funneling money to.  If that's so then they have a vested interest in keeping things quiet.  But if that is so then why was Takada helping out Emily in the first place?  My guess Takada was a part of the group but broke away after the plane crash and has been using Emily to get his own revenge on the Greyson's and the ninja clan that betrayed him as well.  Ah yes the plot thickens..

"Adam wait.  You're talking about terrorists, ninja, baby mamas, witness protection, stealing trust funds, people named Decklan, you're crazy."

"Maybe...  I also remember when Lost was just a show about a plane crash?...

Welcome back."

The Bachelorette - Emily's kissing guide to love edition

Welcome back to the single greatest bachelorette blog in the world, at least no one has told me differently so I'm going to just go with that empty confidence.  So how is everyone this week, did you miss me?  I missed all of you, but last week was so dreadfully boring that I just couldn't bring myself to doing a write up.  Plus with the holiday in the middle of the week it kind of messed things up too.

So this week we find ourselves in the land famed for it's blue alcoholic drink, Curacao.  Must say those were some nice looking residences there in their bright Caribbean colors, that would be matched perfectly with the red face of one unluckly contestant by the end of the episode.

First up, my least favorite of the three remaining "men", Sean.  Now I'm not going to sugarcoat this, I can't stand this guy.  Why is he my least favorite of the three remaining, a couple of reasons.  First the guy is from Dallas, so....  Second the guy just looks like that dude a the bar that is scoring the chicks and taking them back to his place like it's just an average Saturday night.  Considering that in my younger years I wasn't the most successful in such activities, I despise him.  Third and what is a byproduct of number 2, the guy is fake to such a degree that is sicking.  Ok normally the fakeness of Sean shouldn't be that big of a deal, but in this case we're talking about a single mom here, and you just don't mess with that, you're either in or your out, but more on that later with all of our "men".

The date itself looked like a train wreck to me.  Oh sure they made out a bunch, but really Emily would make out with a hobo if he told her that he liked her shoes, so I'm discounting all kissing at this point.  I think before the date even began you got a pretty good idea of where this date was going to end up.  When the pre-date interview is focusing in on how he hasn't told Emily yet that he loves her, well you know where this is going to end up, dumpsville.  But Emily was doing everything in her power to try and help Sean onto the next round.  On the beach where she was asking him about his feelings, he just couldn't make that next leap in saying that he loved her.  Instead, "I see you brought some snorkel equipment." So instead of saying that he loved her he just found a way to avoid the conversation as a whole.

Later at dinner the conversation became Sean's attempts to say whatever he thought that Emily wanted him to say.  You know the normal, "you and I just work", "I could see you and I together forever", blaa blaa, but he failed when he forgot that, oh yeah Emily has a 6 year old daughter.  At dinner Sean looked like a raved wolf eagerly waiting for that date card to show up.  In his mind the thought of, "I've been half way around the world, I've told her everything I need to say according to my bar pick up guide.  And I really think those big displays of looking for her in Prague and chasing after her car at my home town will have made all of the difference, I'm sure to get into her....  (public service announcement...  yes ladies some men are pigs and will only have one thing on their mind, just be aware.  ugh I can't wait for Hailey to start dating, I'm buying a gun...)  Sorry got on a tangent there, the point is as Cuba Gooding said it best in Jerry Maguire, "Don't shoplift the pooty."  Which is exactly what Sean was looking at doing.  Considering that he didn't bring up Rikki except in courtesy at dinner, that was the final straw for him.  Emily isn't looking for a man, she's looking for a husband and father and while the practical joke last week about you being a boy was just a joke, it might not have been too far from the truth.  Sean you're a boy.  I might be a little overly hard on the guy, because I think that he'd put in the effort with Rikki, who knows.  Doesn't matter because he was sent packing anyway.  I think they cut some onions up in the limo ride back to force some tears for the interview.

Next up, let's talk about Arie our not really a race car driver.  No really look it up, he hasn't been in a race since 2010, and that was on a minor circuit.  Remember third string Jessie Palmer?  Presto!  Oh sure he drove in the 2006 Indy 500, but he finished 28th out of 33.  So the jig is up buddy, you're full of crap, or ABC is, or both of you.  Shame, shame on you both for lying to us.  And here I am believing that what I see on reality TV is 100% accurate, my whole perception of reality has been shattered, now I'll go cry with Sean.

Ok, I'm better now, back to Arie whom Emily loves to kiss as she has told us, compared to the other guys you don't like kissing???  To me Arie is the guy that Emily really really wants to pick, I mean she said it herself that she didn't trust herself to go back to the honeymoon suite with him, that pretty much summed up that he was going to get a rose at the tribal council.  But here is the thing with Arie, is he ready to be a father? My thought is no he's not.  The entire time that Emily was questioning him about Arie's typical day or night it all sounded a lot like a guy that wanted to be out and about around the town, he said it himself that he goes out to eat every night.  Did it sound like to you a man that was ready to settle down and play father???  Oh sure I think all men need a little straighting up in order to be a good father, but even men are clueless, there is the desire to want to do it.  To me it sounded like Arie was fine with having a child around as long as it didn't cramp his style.  And his attitude on how he would approach the relationship with Rikki, sure Emily was eating it all up because she wanted to hear enough that she could give him the rubber stamp, but his talk about how he would try to be her buddy and stuff, sounded a lot like someone who has no idea what it means to have children, kind of like my brother (oh snap!  don't worry he's not reading this).  It's not that Arie would be bad at some point in the future, it's that he's not ready to do it now.  Sure Ayden is my buddy, but he's also my son so there is a difference, maybe it's just me, but I'm going to make the assumption that those of you with kids out there know what I'm talking about.  Or maybe I'm being stupid.  Again not that Arie is a bad guy, I think that he's being honest with Emily, I just don't think that he's ready to jump into parenthood.

Finally we are left with Jef, the man with the audacity to actually question the bachelorette about how she saw the future.  I'm sorry Jef haven't you watched this show before, you are supposed to sit there and just tell her everything that she wants to hear.  Asking questions!  The indignity of it all!  How dare you have a two way conversation, get back to kissing like the other guys, damn you damn you.  I think I could actually hear Chris Harrison in the background asking the producers if Jef was allowed to do that, it was just so unorthodox ed.  Fun fact, Chris Harrison makes $60,000 per episode.

In all seriousness it was good to see Jef actually asking questions about their relationship and looking to build a solid foundation between the two of them.  Any guesses whom I like the most this season?  What I like about Jef is that he appears to be the most honest with them all and I think that he has a good understanding of what the future between the two of them is going to be like.  Sure he has no experience with a 6 year old or being a father, but he seems like he's ready to take it on.  But is the big kid ready?  Well at least he's self aware of the fact that he is a big kid I think that is a plus.

Really the biggest plus with Jef in my opinion is that Emily actually has a personality around him, she just opens up and isn't all barbieish around him, I think that he makes her a better person, at least on the show.  There is a natural chemistry between the two of them so he's the one that I'm rooting for.  Of course TV isn't always the truest indicator of reality, SHOCKER!!!  If we remember last season when Ben to me appeared to have great chemistry with Lindzi and he went and picked Courtney.  Again another season of love or lust, and really how many of the seasons actually come down to that choice?  The choice between whom you want and whom you need, who you date and who you marry, or something along those lines.  Is this season any different?  We have Arie whom Emily is beyond smitten for and Jef the guy that she naturally jels (intentional) with.  In the end I think that she'll end up picking Arie and it won't work out because he isn't ready to jump to that next step in life.  If Emily didn't have a daughter then I think they would be a decent match, but with the 6 year old, they are just in two different places in life.  That's not to say that her and Jef aren't in two different places, but I think he at least understands the consequences and ramifications of dating Emily, Arie, not so much.

Tune in in two weeks for the "exciting" season finale of the bachelorette that you won't want to miss.  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Thanks for reading

The Bachelorette - 2012 Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings Edition

It has been a while hasn't it?  First off, no that title has nothing to do with anything here except that I would like to thank the Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings for their trilling run through the playoffs that kept me away from writing my Bachelorette blog.  Not that I don't enjoy writing it and essentially making fun of the show, but with this season...  wow just wow.  I would also like to point out to everyone that being that it is 2012 the end really is upon us, college football has decided to hold a playoff, first the Kings, now this, I'm telling you it really is the end.

Enough about my pointless rambling, let's to my pointed rambling as we dive into the artistry that is The Bachelorette.  First thing I have to say is that Monday was the first episode that I had seen all season so I was coming in with a fresh set of eyes at our contestants.  So if they are tools, douches, or just a-holes, I don't have a clue, I'm going by what I saw in my one episode.

Our Bachelorette this season is none other than one of my favorite contestants from previous seasons, go back and look you'll see that I pretty much called her a pretty face with no substance, and boring as can be.  Really go look, I'll wait...  But what's done is done, ABC in their ultimate wisdom decided to cast Single Mom Barbie as our lucky lady this season and what a successful season of ratings that it has been!  (ABC, I really should be nicer to you since you also broadcast Revenge, my favorite show, and you did carry Lost as well).  Is it just me or is Emily really just blaaaa?  I mean she's pretty, but that beauty really is only skin deep in my opinion.  I'll try to keep my character assassination to a minimum, but in watching the one episode it just looked like she was working a kissing booth at a carnival, I know there is going to be some kissing, but to bounce from one make out session to the next in the same night just seemed, I don't know, a bad example for her daughter?  Maybe I'm just too prudish, yeah me, LOL.

Kissy Face Barbie also is suffering from Bacheloretteitis, she is pulling out the worship me card, and the "you better open up to me or you're going home" bit.  Ok I get that you have to have some traction in the relationships in order to choose who gets to stay but it just seemed like a checklist to me.  And speaking of checklists, what is she looking for?  I'll wager that she doesn't have a clue.  Look at the four remaining guys from last night.  You have Playboy, Pretty Boy, Crazy Needy Boy, and Beiber Boy.  She has the spectrum covered this season, it's not like she has a type other than good kisser that idolizes her.  I'd think that you'd have some similarities between the men, but they all looked as different as can be, to me anyway.

About the guys, let's get to some dates.  In the first date with Arie, Question Me Barbie was going all Sharon Stone on the knowledge that Arie had dated one of the producers on the show.  It was such a big deal that we got to see Chris give us an extra filler in portion of the show and and interview between the producer and Emily.  Really?  Weren't there more make out sessions that they could have fit into those minutes?  Anyway off camera the conversation came up and apparently was nothing once they talked about it.  Talk about seriously scrapping the barrel for some drama.  In the future men applying to the show will be asked to name everyone that they have ever kissed going back to grade school, at which time we will dig up your 4th grade crush and create a scene where the one on one date takes place in the same city only for Chris Harrison to break in and have to talk to the Bachelorette in private to tell her that someone that the man she is on a date with had a past relationship with another woman that is currently in the same city (that city of course being the size of New York).  I guess I shouldn't complain it's not like they had to climb a mountain and we got to hear another speel about "if we can climb this mountain, there isn't anything that our relationship can't overcome." only to not give said person a rose anyway.  It could be even worse than that too, thankfully it's not "I can't think of a better place to fall in love than X" So thank God for that.  What is the line this season?  Am I pretty?  I just want to set a good example for my daughter?

On to John, he had a girl cheat on him so he was quiet.  Dude man up and get over it.  Oh wait, Make Desperate Pleas to me Barbie didn't give you a rose either?  Ok go off and cry some more.  No really "Wolf" it's ok.  FYI you're girl radar is a little out of whack if you thought that date was a 10.  And I also hate to break it to you, that wasn't a date it was a therapy session, Emily was your rebound, looked pretty obvious.  (Oh wait aren't half of the contestants on the show on the rebound anyway???)  On the bright side "Wolf" I have a good feeling that you'll be the first one from this season to end up on the cover of Us Weekly that has found love after the show.  Best of luck to you Alpha Dog!

And since I mentioned desperate pleas, let's take a look at Chris shall we.  Kudos for laying it all out there in a last ditch hail mary to get that final rose.  Bravo to you!  There is nothing worse than traveling half way around the world to fall in love with a woman only to be sent home in tears in a nice car while you're being interviewed about what you think didn't work, but knowing that you get to go home and regroup with your family...  Except taking said woman home to meet your family and getting them all excited about the thought that said woman could be your future wife, only to not be given a rose and then be sent home to those same family members to whom you just embarrassed yourself to.  I mean it's easy when it takes place thousands of miles away to some unknown woman, but to do it right after dinner.  Yes sir, my suggestion is to go ahead and take seconds at dinner, because you won't feel like eating for the next couple of days afterwards.  You go Chris!

Sean...  Pretty boy whom I don't like...  I refuse to talk about the Prague Stalker who just happened to randomly find Lost Tourist Barbie in the middle of a large city.  Humm maybe I shouldn't have been so sarcastic about my New York scenario before.  I guess you really do have to take all possibilities into consideration when producing a show like the Bachelorette.  Or just set up a crazy scene that could look good in a movie but looks like pure cheese when you know it's set up.  They then make out, have a beer, and make out some more.  With all of the making out I'm so happy that Eastern Europe has been Westernized, could you imagine how bad it would be if they had to bookleg lip balm into the country.

Justin Beiber, or Jef as he is known on the show.  Actually I liked Jef, but that hair was just begging for a comment.  In my opinion Jef was the best suitor for Play with Puppets Barbie because he was able to bring out a personality in her that none of the other contestants were able to do, which I'm sure will mean that there is no way that she picks him in the end, which is actually kind of sad in my opinion.  Ok sure I like to rip the show, but deep down, really deep down I'm a romantic and who doesn't like to see people in love, well maybe not "Wolf" but for the rest of us it is a special thing, why else are we dragged to romantic comedies, because everyone wants to believe in love.  And no matter how cheesy the show gets, the hope that people will find love is what keeps bring people back to it season after season.  So while 90% of it is great fodder to rip apart, there is that 10% that is hiding in there, to me Jef and Emily is that 10%.  Remember I haven't seen any of the previous episodes so I don't know how Emily's chemistry works with the other guys.

Alas no matter how well I think that Emily and Jef looked playing dolls together, she will most likely pick Sean in the end, whom she will quickly dump after the show.  It might just be me, but Emily strikes me as the type that is going to find whatever is wrong with whomever.

So on to next week.  I plan on watching until the end at this point.  Heck it helps pass the time until football season starts up again, and I get two fan rings in one year.  Go Kings Go and Fight On!  sorry Shelley, maybe next year. =)

Revenge - Finale

Oh how I have missed you my happy happy joy joy blog of pointless TV recaps. Life has just been too upside down for the last couple of months that I just haven't been able to find a moment to come and revisit you. Not to say that I'm not overwhelmed at the moment right now as well, but after that season finale of Revenge last night, I was just compelled to get out my quill and get my Mason Treadwell on.

To anyone that is reading this that hasn't watched season 1 of Revenge, just close down this window now and go find yourself the episodes online. I'm sure that some of you felt the sting in how Lost ended and didn't really give us the payoff that we had hoped for. In this case last nights episode was a payoff well deserved and a fantastic set up for next season, and there will in fact be a next season of the show, you're safe to invest yourself a little bit.

So getting to it. I have to say that I thought last weeks episode was the worst of the season so I was riding a bit of fear as the finale rolled around, but by the time the opening credits played, I knew we were in for a good one. I'm going to start with Jack Porter, the too good for himself bartender with a heart of fools gold. Jack my poor poor soul, at least take the million dollars, sure you're "above" such things but you're going to keep your mouth shut anyway, take the damn money. Oh sure it might have looked a little strange considering that you were just making out with Emily in the last episode (a dreadful scene IMO) and that might have left you with some guilt towards Daniel, but come on it would have served you well in that college fund that you need to start saving in, more on that in a minute. And besides if you really wanted to go build schools in Haiti you could have turned evil money into good deeds. Oh well Jack is our paragon of goodness and will have to just keep on being a beacon of light among all those poor er I mean rich souls. A safe "Port"er if you will... Ok that was cheesy.

 On to baby mama. First off if you didn't see Amanda's return coming a mile away then you really shouldn't be driving at night, but I don't think that her return was really meant to be a shock or even that she was pregnant to be a shock, to me the shock was how it devastated Emily, more on that in a minute. Amanda's return opens up a laundry list of questions specifically to where the heck has she been, and you don't think that Daniel is going to be a little worried to have Amanda back in the picture considering the murder trial where Amanda could have been a factor. Not to mention the fact that Jack gave Daniel back the money right before she walked back in the door. Sure Jack was doing the "right" thing, but the timing is going to look like Jack was giving it back so that Amanda would be clear to talk without that hush money there.

 I'll get to Emily, but first I want to hit the smaller characters, next is Nolan. Ok first off Nolan, never ever try to go undercover ever again in what had to be the worst cable man impression ever. For his trouble he got his ass kicked and rightfully so, Nolan can't play with the big boys on the show and once again we see that while he has the best of intentions he just doesn't have that dark side the others have. Nolan is kind of a man child and I absolutely love the character. If Jack is a light in the dark, then Nolan is a compass. He's neutral to what is going on around him and anytime that he leans in any direction it just gets him in trouble. Thus that is Nolan's place, to let people know what path that they are on, usually that being Emily and trying to keep her humanity in place even as she is determined to let it go.

 Let me give a token notice to Charlotte and her attempted suicide, she's not dead, too many story lines where she could go, like running to her pregnant half sister for support (that will be fun). How about when she learns her fake dad ordered the death of her real dad? And what about the return of Victoria? Really? You think that she's dead? Lydia fell off a building 5 stories and landed on the back of a taxi cab and lived, Victoria's death was faked. Speaking of Victoria, I'm going to just go out there and say it, she's not dead. Witness protection program ladies and gentlemen. I find Victoria an interesting character, not because she is so devious, but because she's always one step behind everyone else. For everyone of her plans that she tries to employee, someone is always one step ahead and allowing her to think that she is getting the best of them. For example the gift that she got Emily for the wedding, an empty box. But then to go on and tell Emily that she knew that they would never work, oh she knew that Emily was scheming, but she was completely off on the real intentions. Victoria is so sure of herself and her superiority that she is completely blinded to what is really going on around her and in reality her plays at power are pathetic. To me Victoria is more a victim in this story who's soul has been taken from her and while she tries to play nasty with everyone that's all she can do, is just play, she just doesn't understand how far someone will go. She's kind of the opposite of Nolan in that sense, he at least gets how terrible everyone can be. And since I'm making comparisons to naval functions, Victoria is like the sail on a ship. Oh sure a sail makes a boat go, but the power of a sail will always be at the mercy of the wind.

 Which brings me at last to Emily. The first line of the series states, "When you set out on a course for revenge, dig two graves. One for your enemy and one for yourself." In this case I'll take that as more figurative than literal because in the finale whatever Emily had left in her to go back to being Amanda was put to rest when baby mama showed up. But I'm getting ahead of myself, after a season of plotting and scheming it looked like Emily was finally going to get her revenge on both the Graysons and on the man that had killed her father. Oh sure she might have been chained up, but you knew Emily was expecting that, and used the opportunity to beat the white haired man to an inch of his life and then she had a flashback that made her think of the love her dad saw in her. While in practice I think that it was obviously a bad move to let the guy live, we as an audience have to root for Emily and that as a character that would have been the last bit of humanity slipping away from her, or at least we're supposed to think that, but let's just go with that.

 When Emily returns home she is confronted with the other man boy in the show who is all upset that Emily might have been cheating him on with Jack. To me I thought this was funny, he's bringing up his little drama after she was just in a life and death beat down, Emily of course just had that whatever sense to her. Emily let Daniel believe what he wanted to believe about her, I guess at this point it really didn't matter, at one point she actually did feel something for him, but that was lost once he started down the dark side himself, a point that she reminded him of. If the show runs long enough I see Daniel becoming very evil but in the end finding redemption when he finds his old snow sled "Rosebud" we'll see. But now with Daniel and her over, things with the white haired murder settled, and Grayson Global on the ropes Emily's work was done, she could now go back to being Amanda Clarke, after years and years on the road, plotting and training all of her work was done. As she told Nolan she was going to go find Jack and go ride off into the sunset with him, the perfect happily ever after (I wonder if the show hadn't been picked up for a second season if they would have allowed everything to play out with that happy ending? My thought is yes, and I think it would have still been satisfying). So there she is returning to the Stowaway and low and behold, there is baby mama... Guess what Emily, you are now Emily Thorne forever, that grave I was talking about, POW, the real Amanda Clarke just got buried in it. Oh sure Emily could reveal the truth (and at some point I'm sure it will come out) but she can't say a word to Jack, lest she break his heart. Here is Jack thinking that he's in love with his old sweetheart and a soon to be father, it would kind of break him to know the truth. But then again, hasn't our Mr. Lighthouse been holding that torch just a little too long anyway??? So Merry Christmas Emily, you wanted to get your revenge, all it cost you was the happiness that you could have had had.

 In the end how did Emily do in her mission? She was able to destroy the lives of some of the minor characters that played a role in her Dad's imprisonment, so very good there. It remains to be seen how much Grayson Global will be affected by everything considering that all of the evidence was blown to pieces on that plane (really they didn't have a back up? Good job Nolan). Meaning that if she wants them to be taken down she'll have to keep playing the game. But things got more complicated as we learned, not to very much surprise that there were people well above Conrad that were behind everything, like that wasn't expected. And how will Mr. Whitehair handle Emily going forward. He could have revealed her to Conrad but didn't, and based on that conversation and his little wink to the camera to Emily my guess is that he plans to stay neutral with her. If he wanted to have ratted her out or gone back after her, he'd have done that, honor among assassins? So questions going into next year...

 Is Victoria dead? No
Is Lydia dead? No (bitch has 9 lives)
Will Daniel and Ashley hook up? Yes
Will Jack find out the truth about Emily? No
Is Charlotte dead? No
Will the government continue it's case against GG? No the evidence was destroyed
Where is Mr. Takada and where did he have Amanda? Don't know but think we'll find out pretty quick.
Will Decklan finish school? Really? You think I care?

 And who is Emily's mother? Tell me you didn't see this one coming a mile away too.

 Until next season, Stay classy Montauk

The Bachelor - Escape from Bitch Mountain

"Permanecer sentados Por Favor" With last night's EPIC season finale of the Bachelor last night, and by epic I mean the lowest rated season finale of the Bachelor since the show's inception. And with the majestic Materhorn in the background there was only one way to start tonight's blog, if you're from Southern California, you don't need me to tell you what that little Spanish phrase was to start the blog. But for those of you that don't know, "Remain seated please." because I am about to blow your mind! Well maybe not, but I was on a roll there and had to say i was, so Ta Dow! Not to be confused with Tebow, who will soon be riding the bench with John Elway's savior in Payton Manning arriving to Denver shortly, but I digress...

We can only imagine that Ben was searching for some help from above, or in this case more likely below on his non stop cliched walks through the Alps that filled up at least a half hour of the three hours of "love" last night. Seriously if Ben had been in a pedometer contest, he would have won twice over last night with all the aimless wondering around thinking about which women that he was going to pick. But in reality he wasn't thinking about anything, well except maybe the perfect words that he could use to feed Lindzi to the Abominable Snowman up there on the mountain, "It's not you it's me." Or whatever load of crap that he fed her. My wife called it weeks ago, she told me that he was going to pick Courtney, but here I was holding out that he would made the "right" decision. And that's what I get for caring, paying out a bunch of high odds that I had been giving out during the season, Damnit!

And that's what the season really came down to, good verses evil, date verses marry, head verses, um... yeah... Lindzi, whom I liked from the beginning, no really go look at my early blogs for the season, I called it. I'm like the thousandaire matchmaker, just thinner, and with a shorter forehead, and a man. Lindzi was sweet as Swiss chocolate and most likely a front runner for a future season of the Bachelorette where she will become "twisted and evil" by the dark forces that are stardom and 25 men worshiping the ground that you walk on. Stuff like that can change a person. But for now, Lindzi was pretty cool, all of America agreed as Chris Harrison reminded us last night, so yeah Lindzi.

On the flip side you had, bum bum bummmm Courtney. If Lindzi was the girl next door, than Courtney was the other girl next door that everyone "knew about". Through her different tactics she ended up WINNING! And we learned that in the end no matter how nice a person is, no matter how good the chemistry can seem, or no matter how pretty the girl is, easy sex is easy sex and the temptation of it can break lesser men. My problem was that I was looking at the situation through my eyes believing in the good in people, oops my bad... But doesn't it make sense, I mean don't you have to be a bit of an attention whore to go on a show like this in the first place, and Ben was about as much a whore as I've seen watching several seasons... Oh how ashamed I am, it has been several seasons now... So when a model, whores it up for you, which way is someone going to fall in the end? With the two of them dressed in all black and Ben getting down on one knee, almost expected her to tell him to go wipe out the remaining Jedi (go watch Star Wars 3, the part where Anakin turns to the dark side).

Which leads us to the after the final rose, oh yeah I watched that too, I was really curious to see how this was all going to end. Apparently with Courtney's antics on display Ben decided to one up Courtney and break things off with her. Feeling like a fool Ben? How does it feel to come out and have the studio audience boo Courtney and even Chris brought up that America didn't want him to pick her, heck I felt pity for her, even after all her crap, because I'm way too forgiving... And that's when it hit me, ABC was Mickey Mousing with us again. At what point did we decide that we hated Courtney, about week 4? At what point did ABC start promoting her as the "bad girl" making us want to hate her? Then there were the promos for the finale, the roasting that she took on the women tell all. Even Good Morning America jumped on the bandwagon this morning calling her "the most hated woman on television" just before they brought out Lindzi to talk for a couple minutes. I make the case to you that once ABC saw that they had a villain, they just tossed her to the wolves and to what effect? Pity. If they lay it on thick enough, some of us will take pity on her, making it seem like she is the victim in all of this, until we just forget about her and move on. And I'm guessing that we're at about minute 14 of those 15 minutes of fame that she was working so hard to obtain, the final minute being the issue of US Weekly where they report that they have broken up. Have fun on the Bachelor/Bachelorette dating circuit.

So am I reading too much in to how ABC just ran with her bitchiness? I'm really not sure, but it sure smells as rotten as the dead fish that they put on her line back in Utah. Oh yeah remember that? I guess if the formula is working for them (and based on the ratings, it's not) then who am I to say different? But really aren't you just as fed up with the cliche'd crap as I am? Honestly I really don't care whom they pick, but it does make it a little more fun to turn it into a horse race, I mean isn't that why you watch American Idol and stuff like that? You're playing along at home, that's the fun. So why do we have to watch all of the same garbage every season, the formula is getting old. How many times do we need to hear, "if we can get through this, we can get through anything", or "[blank] is an unbelievable place to fall in love", or "I'm really developing strong feelings for a lot of these ladies." or "I just have a hard time opening up." Isn't it just the same stuff over and over and over again? And by the way next season where Emily is the Bachelorette, is going to be just as boring. Sure she was sweet, but she was boring as heck, go reread what I said about her (was I blogging then, [hangs head in shame]). Fun would be Courtney as the Bachelorette. Oh sure she's a bitch, but watching her play with 25 guys just asking for it, would be great fun! Twist on the vine suckers! Hell didn't we watch Ben do that with the women this season?

But ABC is all about reassuring itself that the formula works, why else would they roll out Ashley and JP last night (FYI, I picked JP to win also, yeah I'm frekin awesome at this!). Weren't they just so bubbly and happy? Good for you ABC, go pat yourself on the back you did make a successful relationship, now go get Harrison ordained so that he can marry them, as if it wasn't surreal enough.

And where was Lindzi last night, I guess that she was there, but they decided not to bring her out. I mean why would you want to bring out the girl that is happy that she got dumped up during the filming of a Recola commercial, she's dodged a bullet. They all dodged a bullet, look at Emily two weeks ago on the women tell all, she couldn't have been happier that Ben let her go.

All that means that in the end Ben was sitting there on the couch, a defiant, tool. He had been played, and he knew it, but after spending all that time having his ego inflated do you really think that he was going to step back from that mountain and admit the truth? Hell no. He's Ben the Mother F----n bachelor! He owns a winery, he has that awesome hair, he's having sex with a model. Even as it's all crumbling around him, he defies the obvious truth, the player got played. And there is Courtney a broken shell of what she was. I'm buying it, I think that her lust for fame caught up with her, and then came crashing down upon her. She probably is still the same person, but being universally hated "celebrity" could affect a person, too bad we'll never know, because her 15 minutes are almost up (well she will end up on Bachelor pad so I guess she has 16 minutes of fame).

The parting shot of the night, a miserable couple, loathed by the public, in tears, and engaged, sort of. Do you think that Harrison will preside over that ceremony? I don't know them, and I don't hate them, but I do like to see people get what they deserve, and maybe learn a little a lesson in the process, did they learn anything? In watching I learned something, karma works two ways, the sweet girls from the season (albeit a little naive) seem to have done well for themselves, I thought they looked happy on the women tell all. But karma can also be a bitch, buckle up Ben and Courtney and permanecer sentados por favor because you're in for a bumpy ride.

Bachelor - Human Sacrifice

Welcome back to the Valentine's Day edition of the Bachelor recap. Not that the Bachelor has anything to do with love, and more about winning, but it's Tuesday and Valentine's Day so by default it's the V Day edition, whoopiee!!!

This weeks dating challenges included jumping out of helicopters, swimming with sharks, fishing for lobsters, and climbing a huge Mayan temple. So yes we crossed the gauntlet with all sorts of fears for the ladies, but I have to admit the lobster fishing was kind of cool. As always if any of the ladies needed any reassurance to do their dating activity for the day then Ben was there to give them just enough reassurance to go through with it. OR was he??? Come on Rachel let's go swimming with the sharks, "if I'm lucky one of them might eat you and I won't have to deal with sending you home at the rose ceremony." Emily didn't need reassurance she was all about diving in and going for it, and honestly it looked like their date had a lot of chemistry just walking around the island, but I guess ABC has some masterful editors working the show to make us believe that.

On the Lindzi date the highlight of cheese for me was the message in the bottle. How much do you want to bet that the bottle will show up on "After the final rose" with some yahoo there to say that he found the bottle? I'm giving even money odds on that, and 5-2 if he ends up picking Lindzi. The message on the note, "Be truthful and honest." So Ben have you told Lindzi or any of the other women about your little skinny dipping episode with Courtney? Didn't think so. But that is the wonderful thing about TV, they have all seen it now, even whomever you picked, maybe it was Courtney that he picked afterall, damn I better take down those odds.

Speaking of our lovely "lady" Courtney she has done a masterful job of playing Ben into the ground. The spider crawling around on her during the credits was so appropriate, Kacie compared her to a black widow and there really couldn't be any better comparison, well maybe a Praying Mantis (go check out their mating habits on Wikipedia). Where Courtney has truly succeeded is how she has Ben wrapped around her finger. While on dates with other women Ben shuts down and goes into "worship me ladies", "tell me why I should keep you", "bow before my greatness" but with Courtney she has turned the tables on him (I guess sex in the ocean can do that sort of thing) so that now he is appealing to her and essentially begging her to stay. As much as Ben thinks that he's hot stuff, Courtney holds power over him and in the end will give his ego exactly what it deserves a crushing blow. The player getting played.

And as of this week I will no longer use the "ladies" in quotes, at this point I feel sorry for them. Before the rose ceremony Courtney made the comment that there were other men for the ladies, and Emily took all offense to it, "there are other men?" Really? That's just sad, of course there are other men, and that is the problem here, Ben has been elevated to an undeserved worship status by several of the other girls (Kacie, Nicki, Emily, Rachel) so that they literally are falling all over themselves for him. Courtney doesn't give a crap and to me Lindzi seems to have the most stable head on her shoulders that if this doesn't work out she just moves on. But for the other girls this is life and death for them, which is why they won't be picked in the end.

I quote Ferris Bueller, "If things don't change for Cammeron he's going to marry the first women he lays. And she is going to treat him like shit. She won't love him, she won't respect him. Because you can't respect someone that kisses your ass."

And that is exactly where the ladies are, throwing themselves at Ben to get scraps of attention, but in reality sealing their own fate. Ben wants the worship, but if it's too easy it doesn't hold value. With Courtney it's the challenge, with Lindzi there is a mutual respect (I think anyway), good verses evil. Dating verses marriage. Romance verses Sex. We've all been there, and that's why I can't completely blame Ben, even if he is a tool (seriously stop calling the wine vino, I know you make wine for a living but using that over and over again makes you look like a douche). In the end does he come to his senses and pick Lindzi? I'm not so sure now, I think he might run and hide from the skinny dipping incident, even if she looks like a natural match for him, first impression rose much?

So on with the odds, last week I correctly predicted the end of Rachel and I gave the highest odds for Emily (Courtney goes late) so I'm a winner! WINNING!!!

Lindzi - 3-2 I'm going back up on the odds with her just because I think that Courtney has a better chance than I had given her credit for, or that I've probably given Ben too much credit. Lindzi is the best fit when you look at the two of them, sure the chemistry on the date wasn't all that special, but we do see her in front of the Matterhorn so unless they take a detour through Disneyland she will be there as one of the final two.

Kacie - 10-1 It was nice to see her get a little nasty about Courtney but I still think that she is just too young to end up with Ben in the end. I was shocked that she got the rose last night, especially considering that she said that her dad might have a problem with her getting engaged. But he has given her 3 roses on group dates so he really has a thing for her. Interesting that she spoke up about Courtney after she had the rose.

Nicki - 12-1 No rose on the group date, I thought she was a goner, but surprise surprise she survived another day. I couldn't help but think while they were talking that ABC needed her to stick around one more week so that they could pump up the ratings in the Texas market. You know show us a good old fashion easy going girl, just to make the show look better compared to Courtney and the fairly quiet Lindzi. Both Nicki and Kacie seem sweet, but with how much Ben is into the bad girl side of Courtney they don't stand a chance.

Courtney - 4-1 After last night and all of the magazines starting to guess that she is the winner, it's hard not to bring down those odds. I don't feel too bad though, a couple weeks before the end of the season the Giants were 100-1 shots in Vegas to win the Super Bowl, and the Cardinals were 999-1 to win the World Series. So here is our like succubus with her claws into Ben so deep that he is hopelessly lost to her web. Their date was fitting, a Mayan temple where they probably used to commit human sacrifices, much like Ben's will. The image of them climbing the temple hand in hand was ominous, it could only have been more fitting if she had had sex with him on the alter (see Devil's Advocate for a great image of that) or just went ahead and stuck a dagger through his heart (which by the time whatever girl watches the season, that will most likely have happened). ABC couldn't have picked a better date location for the two of them, Ben's just too stupid to realize what is going on, but it makes for great TV!

Next week we will see the end of Nicki. I think the down home Texas life just won't sit well with a snobby wine country boy. Kacie's family will be too sweet and too picturesque that he will keep her around for another week.

Let me hear your thoughts, I'd love some input on what you think is going to happen.

Star Wars - Phantom Menace

So I went to see Phantom Menace yesterday and it was interesting going to see it with no expectations. It's still not a great movie but there are parts of it that are a lot better than I remember. Not sure if any of this would be considered a spoiler if you're looking at going to see it, I mean the movie is 13 years old now, but a couple of observations that I noticed. As we know I like to give my opinions so here you go.

Jar Jar - My hatred for Jar Jar is gone, why? Because I get it now, Jar Jar is supposed to be an annoying idiot in the movie. When you watch it, watch Qui-gon's contempt for Jar Jar and how he is basically stuck with him. It's great because for so long we all felt like Qui-gon, but then we were so distracted by Jar Jar and his antics that we missed the point, the character is intentionally annoying. I mean he still sucks, but I get it now. The best part about Jar Jar is that he becomes a hero which ends up putting the moron in the position to give the Emperor his first set of executive powers, which eventually leads to the totalitarian state of the Empire. Good job Jar Jar, you moron.

Midiclorians (however the hell you spell it) - The explanation is needed in the movie in order for the story as a whole to work. When Qui-gon meets Anakin he can tell that the force is strong with him, but that's nothing special, at that point he's just a force attuned child, like all of the others. But what sets Anakin apart is that his count is so high, higher than Yoda's, thus the boy is special for some reason or another, to Qui-gon it's that he is the child of the prophecy, the other masters not so sure. The prophecy about the midiclorians creating a lifeform on their own. Qui-gon believes it so much that he will defy the jedi council to take on and train the boy. My guess is that he wouldn't do that for any other kid, hence a way was needed to quantify Anakins potential powers, hence midiclorians. Then in #3 Revenge of the Sith, Darth Sidious tells Anakin about a story of a Sith lord that could create life from the midiclorians, it's a short leap to take in thinking that Darth Sidious's master was the one that created Anakin in the first place. Again without the midiclorians we could just take it on faith about how Anakin came into being, but looking at the overarching story of movies 1-2-3 it's more likely that it was all a plot from the beginning to take over the Republic and form the Empire, this fits into that story. And while the story telling could have been better in that we didn't need to connect the dots ourselves, I like that if you pull back and take a look at it as a whole, the bad guys were at work a long long time before they were ever discovered.

The Senate - Politics has no place in a Star Wars movie you say. After watching #3 about a million times, I get it now. Obviously the Emperor was using the Senate to grow himself into power but it's the subtleties in #1 that I missed or didn't remember or frankly didn't pay any attention to the first time around. The entire plot of the first movie is about the senate taxing trade routes and the fish people forming a blockade over Naboo in protest of those taxes. The taxes were undoubtedly a part of the Emperor's plan to gain power. He uses mind tricks on several of the senators and gets them to enact the taxes so that he can then persuade the trade guild to form the blockade in the first place. Then when the Queen is going to take her case to the Senate to have them come save Naboo, he suggests that the Canceler is weak and won't do anything. When he doesn't the Queen votes to have him removed from power, guess who gets nominated and elected, the eventual Emperor, most likely because he can control the votes to his election through his power. But that sets the stage of putting him in a position of power so that when the Clone War comes, which he creates by playing both sides of the conflict, he can grow his power under the eyes of the Senate and the Jedi.

I didn't get any of that the first time around with the eventual Emperor, I knew who he was and that he was the Sith master, but I didn't get the plot that then played out over the three movies. Hell I remember watching #2 and being completely confused on who the bad guys were, which I get now.

But the movie as a whole isn't great by any means the middle of it is really slow, still it was better than I remembered it. And you forget how much Liam Neison is in the movie.

Revenge - Pandora's Box

Thank you ABC for giving us Revenge, I'm not sure how I knew from the promos back during the summer that this show was going to be as awesome as it has become, but it is great television. The plot twists and set ups are on the level with Lost, sure there isn't the sci-fi aspect of it, but with writing this good who cares. This is the roller coaster that I want to ride for a couple of years, now all we need is for ABC to pick it up for next year.

Initially I thought the first half of the episode was a little weak, but it was all just a set up for the chaos that was set to go by the end of it. Our little heroine Emily arrived on the scene back in the pilot with discipline and a plan, but by the end of last night it was clear that she was no longer in control of the runaway train. As she eluded to when Nolan asked her what was on the tape, "it could be a Pandora's box." how fitting that by the end of the episode "Emily's box" had been stolen the hole in the floor left open and as the closing narration told us, "the monsters have been let out." Pandora's Box has been opened upon the Hampton's and Emily can no longer control what she opened. How fitting that the title for the next episode is Chaos. Oh and wouldn't you put that box someplace a little safer?

This episode was titled Perception, and after reading the EW recap, which I highly recommend it gave me a new look at how I precieved the episode last night and the show as a whole, it's clear why that writer is writing for EW and I'm writing to the 5 people reading my blog (come on people if this freelance writer thing is going to take off I need your support) (I'm kidding, sort of.. =) ) The article centered on the different perceptions of what we think is going on in the story and how several of the characters see what is going on in the story. When you get down to it, all of them saw something last night in a different light. And after trying to write this week's recap I am seeing things in a different light the more I look at the episode and show as a whole.

Rather than try to get into everything that took place last night because that itself would require a large white board and a novel's worth of writing, I'm going to keep it to the theories as much as possible. First theory, Emily no longer has any control over what is going on. Oh sure she broke the dam at the beginning of the season by exposing Conrad's affair, but after that the Greyson's have done a great job of tearing themselves apart. Oh sure Emily had her moments where she would intervene but honestly that was more like a town trying to hold back the flood waters with sandbags, you might be able to save a house or two, but the entire town is underwater and you can't prevent that. To that effect, once the ball got rolling the plot took on a life of it's own, now instead of just ruining a wealthy privileged family that had no soul, we've learned that Daniel is a pretty decent guy. Charlotte's a spoiled princess, but her world came crashing down last night. Jack the "everyman good guy" has started to take a turn to getting equipped with a red light saber (oh poor Anakin). Nolan while once enjoying the game of the plot now is the conscience of Emily constantly nagging at her reminding her that she is destroying innocent people's lives in the process... Indiscriminately destroying the lives of innocent people, sounds like a terrorist to me... I'm just guessing but I don't think that daddy David Clarke was as innocent as we're led to believe.

Speaking of people that aren't as innocent as we're led to believe, let's talk about Ashley. I read a great theory on her on EW (no really go read it, I can't take credit) As Conrad astutely asked her what her deal was. She was too refined to be a grifter, too smart to be a lacky, so he called her an opportunist. We already knew that there was more to her than just the event planner when Tyler confronted her, but why??? The theory that I read suggested that she might be out for revenge on the Greyson's as part of her own motivation, maybe her family was killed in the crash, or to go way out there, maybe her family was a part of the terrorist organization that who's funds were cut off by GG after the plane crash? It would be hard to find a redeeming value to Ashley if she were connected to the terrorists, but maybe we're just going to need another bad guy, a badder bad guy. Totally stealing from the EW theory, look at Lost. At first it was the others, than it was Ben, then it was Widmore, than the smoke monster. Are the Greyson's the others, and Ashley, Ben? I'm guessing that Ashley will continue to be much more shadowy than our main characters, until the season finale when she'll do something big. Keep an eye on her, something is coming.

As we go into next week, we can expect the answer to two very big questions:

1) Who shot Daniel?
2) Who broke into Emily's box?

To me there are only two real suspects, Amanda and Tyler (thank you Dede). Amanda might be sick of Emily's crap of telling her what to do. Seeing that Jack is tearing himself a part about losing Amanda (and I'm sure no one has ever loved her) I think she is more than capable of throwing Emily under the bus and taking her man and running away with him. But there are a couple of problems with it being her. First she isn't a plotter, she is a doer, she isn't going to leave a note for Emily. Second she can't reveal who she is or else she risks losing Jack over the lie that she has been feeding him. Third, she has nothing to gain by throwing Emily under a bus.

Which is why all signs to me point to the return of Tyler. Tyler knows the truth about Emily so he could very easily have written that note because he found her stash. Also Tyler has no love of Daniel anymore so could our resident crazy man go out and shoot Daniel, oh yeah.

BUT I am 90% sure that Daniel won't die, he's too good of a character and there are way too many possibilities that remain open by keeping him around. For example Daniel ends up in the hospital and Emily realizes that this has gone beyond just ruining lives, people are actually dying (Frank was a baddy anyway). Does she do a 180 and now try to just defend herself from what she started? With a new main plotter, oh I don't know Ashley??? Not to mention that we got to watch Lydia fall 5 stories only to land on the top of a car and survive, not even paralyzed. Is it that hard to believe that Daniel could take two in the back and still live?

So the person that is going to die is Amanda, I am 90% sure on this one. Oh Tyler will probably come back to shoot Daniel, but somewhere in the episode Amanda is going to die. Why? Simple, she has lost her purpose, and she is much better suited as a tool to propel the story along. Amanda dies and then Jack totally goes off the reservation in his grief, the only one that can save him would be Emily, but at the risk of herself, sounds like a great character dilemma to me. It moves the story away from the Amanda Clarke trying to undermine the Greysons for a while, while we get to see a divorce trial and murder investigation and attempted murder investigation. But it allows for Emily to be exposed later on for who she really is when the story needs it. And how long could Nolan hold out on telling Jack the truth if Jack was going crazy over the loss of Amanda? I'm still convinced that Jack was in love with the memory of the little girl that was Amanda rather than the stripper that he was actually with, case in point see his reaction to the video.

So if Tyler shoots Daniel, who shoots Amanda (yes I am predicting a double homicide)? My guess, Victoria's henchman. He failed to get all of the videos when he broke into Jack's house, now that Victoria knows this, she is going to get on him to finish the job. Hence fake Amanda will die, and eventually giving Jack a reason to get revenge on Victoria as well once he discovers it.

What happens if Emily discovers that her dad really had something to do with the terrorist plot and that she has destroyed the lives of the men that she loves Daniel and Jack for no reason? We aren't there yet, but by the end of the season, both men might pass the point of no return.

Fun stuff...

Oh and I almost forgot, did Emily get her phone back from Grandpa? I don't think that she did, keep that in mind.

The Bachelor - Ladies, you will now dance for Lord Ben

So with the lack of an audience last week I decided that I would take the week off from writing my dribble about everyone's favorite TV show (no not CSI: Antarctica) the Bachelor, but now I'm back and better than ever. That may or not be true, so far I'm on sentence 3 so we'll see, but the last write up that I did was pretty good in my opinion, too bad no one read it. (I walk off to go cry for a while).

So this week we're in lovely Panama, but it's obviously not that wonderful since none of our lovely "ladies" made the comment that Panama was the perfect place to fall in love, I'm sure the Panamanian tourist board will be quick to call ABC and tell them that they didn't live up to their end of the deal in promoting their little country. Not like there is anything else there that might get someones attention, some waterway or something, I don't know.

Again following last weeks format of not retelling the whole episode let's get to the crazy ladies and all of the fun details that I can remember.

No place better to start than with Miss Insecurity, Casey B. Yet another, "If we can survive on this island then we'll be able to survive anything" dates. You want to survive anything, have them work in a daycare for a week without help, if they survive that then they have a future! At dinner Miss Casey "open's up" for Ben and gets his approval to go on to the next round, whoopie! Oh and did you notice yet another dead fish for them to catch? And you thought I was making it up in Utah.

And that brings us to my first tangent of the day, the opening up crap. First off let me give credit to EW, I read their recap so that I can remember what happen in the two hours of joy that is the Bachelor so I may take a couple things from there. I got the image last night of Ben sitting on his throne and having the ladies one by one come up to him and have to beg for their lives to stick around another week. Casey gave her little I used to have an eating disorder but I got found out at a Super Bowl party... (Coincidence that Super Bowl was yesterday? just saying). They all had their little stories that really don't matter, it's just pandering anyway. What gets me is that they're supposed to give their lives story to a guy that they have known for what 3 weeks, while a bunch of other lovely "ladies" are around ready to pounce on. Not to mention that if they don't "open up enough" that he's just going to send them away anyway. But this is old news, it's the same every season.

The episode was so bad, I think I'll just jump ahead to the odds on the individual ladies left.

Lindzi - even - If Ben is serious about finding a wife, this is the women that he will pick. They have natural chemistry and she's not a nut job like the other women on the show. Not to mention the fact that they showed her in Switzerland as part of the final 3. There really isn't too much more to say about her, because she doesn't kick up a lot of drama we don't see her a lot.

Courtney - 25-1 - Yeah you heard me 25-1, I don't think that she has a chance of getting picked at the end. ABC is promoing her going home next week, which means that she most assuredly won't, but her slutty little act is going to fizzle out before too long. For a second let's give Ben the benefit of the doubt and say that he really isn't just in it for fame and that he really is looking for the woman of his dreams, I know I know, just go with me here. He's going to catch on to the fact that she is just playing a game with him for his affection, and he'll get over it when he realizes that there is nothing behind it. The old saying, "There are women you date, and there are women you marry." If I'm right, Ben catches on that she is just a floozie and dumps her butt, at that point I'm sure she'll be classy and say that she wasn't that into him anyway, she was just trying to win.

More on Courtney, she is a bitch, but she has a point, the other women are making it too easy for her to distract Ben because of their lack of competition on the dates. I'm not saying that you have to be a slut about it, but you take him aside to talk and spend one on one time with him, not waiting for him to pull you away. Courtney has this figured out and she is using sexuality to drive the point home. On the flip side any of the ladies could take him aside and stimulate his mind, which in the end will win out in the long run every time. Instead you get girls like Jessie that allow Courtney to steal her one on one time by swimming in the back ground while she is talking to Ben. Ben is a troll for allowing it to distract him, and he's a troll for not saying something, but Jessie could have stood up for herself and either said something to Courtney or Ben about what was going on. And if Ben got upset about it, then guess what, you didn't want to be with him anyway. Jessie's coy little attempts at being seductive later didn't stand a chance. Point is she wasn't confident and it got her sent home. Confident does not mean acting sexy, someone that is confident just exudes sexy regardless of what they are doing.

Emily - 20-1 - At least she didn't talk about Courtney this week. Ben obviously has something for her, but it's hard to say what that is. For the most part it seems that she is more interested in what everyone else in the house is up to rather than making a relationship with Ben (not that I can blame her). In the end he'll say that she didn't open up enough and send her home.

Casey B - 10-1 - I think that she has a chance, but she just seems like so much of a little kid that I can't see Mr. Sophisticated choosing someone like her. Which is a break for her, she seems really sweet and she should get better than him.

Rachel - 15-1 - The irony of surviving the 2-1 date is that she doesn't have a chance to be there at the end, heck I bet she goes home next week. I think that she is similar to Courtney in that she is kind of evil. When Blakely got sent home she was all about rubbing it in on the camera, classy! Sure Blakely was acting confident going into the date, but it was obviously just acting, hell she even said so. (Can't believe that I'm defending her after that first week) But Rachel is just kind of there during her dancing with the stars audition in which we saw Blakely get all VIP cocktail waitressy. Salsa dancing would have been a much better 1-1 date.

Nikki - 3-1 - If it's not Lindzi, it will be Nikki, but it won't be. She seems sweet but at some point Ben is going to pull the ultimate shumck card and send her home because she has been married, my guess breaking her heart on the final rose. Oh well you got to see the Alps! Back to Dallas to fix teeth. Speaking of teeth, is it me or did you notice that everyone had their teeth "did" previous to going on the show?

Maybe that's why Kasey was on the show, "maybe he'll marry me now." I had to laugh when she went home, "now I need to find someone else to marry." So really it's all about just finding a man to get married to, or to replace your love Mike. If that isn't the definition of rebound, I don't know what is.

Really we only have 5 left? Wow!

The Bachelor - Winning!

Last week I got too formulaic with things breaking down scene by scene what was going on and I realized something, that's pointless, if you're reading this you watched the show so you don't need me to rehash what happened. So this week I'm going to mix it up and just hit on the big stuff and then breakdown the ladies on who I think is going to win and why.

So some quick highlights.

Park City Utah as I think it was Kacie said, "It's the perfect place to fall in love." I have now decided that this is a running joke with the Bachelor. Last season every place that Ashley led the dating death march was the "perfect place to fall in love" at the time I was sickened by their tripe, but now I get it, it's a joke that the writers are throwing in there for people like me to bitch about. Writers? I thought this was a reality show...

Speaking of the writers let's all give a golf clap for Courtney being the only lady to catch a fish. Now I'm not sure how many of you have ever gone fishing, but I'll assume that the most of you have at one point or another. And since you have been fishing you probably remember a bucket of caught fish flopping around trying to get out of the bucket. Flash back to last night where Courtney was standing on the shore holding the a very lifeless fish by the tail. Did that look like a fish that had just been caught? The answer of course is no. There is a proper way to hold a fish, under the gills the reason being so that it can't jump away from you. Plus can you imagine Courtney holding a live fish? My guess is that that to help further the growing conflict within the show they planted the fish just to mix it up. Seriously let's take a group of women that have never been fly fishing before and BAM! one of them catches a fish, and it just happens to be the bitchest one of them all. Whatever you say ABC, but I'm calling bullshit on that one.

Speaking of putting up with some BS, Ben was in no mood to deal with it from Samantha as he sent her packing. Samantha complained to the Bachelor that she was only getting group dates and wasn't getting enough time to spend with Ben. Ben quickly gave her the, "Bitch! I'm the M----R F-----G Bachelor" speech. "You'll get time when I damn well say you get time." You know a pimp has to keep his whoes in line, lest they get mouthy. Now while I can respect Ben being honest with her and saying that it's just not working out between the two of them and that he thinks it's best that she goes home, he pulled out the A-hole card, fame completely inflating his self worth. Just remember Ben without the show, you're a guy that makes wine and really needs a haircut, most of these ladies would never give you the time of day if it weren't for those cameras inflating your ego.

And while I'm talking about inflated egos, let's get back to Courtney and how she is twisting his ego around upon her pinky. For all of those who don't keep up with trivial Hollywood news, Courtney used to date the lawn mower guy on Desperate Housewives, Jessie something... So keep that in mind when our little model is so obviously manipulating Ben. Funny, for as awesome as Ben thinks he is based on his conversation with Samantha, he's in the same position with Courtney, as the spider spins her little web around him. It's pathetic actually watching him fall for every word that she says, reassuring her that he has feelings for her when she asks for reassurance, and then coyly pretending that she might be able to make it through one more day of all of this. Wait, didn't you just send Samantha home for the same reason???

It's pretty obvious to all of us that Courtney is there for all of the wrong reasons, then again, what are the right reasons, you all went on a tv show to meet someone, but really it's all about fame at this point and "Winning!" But since some of the ladies really do believe in the "process" and evidently have never watched a previous episode, one of them feels it's time to warn the Bachelor about the "one girl that is in the house without true intentions." This seasons short straw loser for getting to talk to Ben is Miss Emily, who while is studying to be a disease specialist didn't inoculate herself against stupid.

Emily sits Ben down to talk about Courtney and tell him that she is just not the same girl in the house that he sees. Quickly Ben turns it around on Emily telling her that she shouldn't waste her time concerning herself with other women because it will be "her demise". Ben's reaction was more along the lines of, "Chick! I'm the M----R F-----G Bachelor, you need to start worshiping me so that I, MIGHT give you a date card if I deem you worthy of my time." Can I make it sound any cheaper? But really isn't that what is going on? I'll shamefully admit that I could kind of see how the show could work, but watching Ben put the women through his ongoing judgement, it's more like he's shopping for women at some high end store where the sales agents have to cater to the every whim of their client or else they'll walk off to shop at the next store.

And then finally when Courtney confronted Emily about talking smack about her, Emily played dumb and denied it. Really Emily? If you're going to talk to Ben about your issues with Courtney, you might as well be ready for the repercussions of your actions. What did you think that Ben was going to instantly say, "You're right, what was I thinking?" And cast Courtney out after he's so obviously been smitten by her? No, he was going to do exactly what he did, nothing, and you were going to be left in the awkward position of facing Courtney, whom you just tossed under a bus. I can't stand Courtney, but I give her props for not being afraid to defend herself. Wouldn't someone like Courtney be a great Bachelorette? That would be a fun season. In the end Emily gets a rose because ABC decided that they needed to keep her around another week so that there will be another potential blow up between her and Courtney. And thank God Courtney was just in Puerto Rico a couple weeks ago, she can show them all around the island on her group date.

So let's break down the field and what odds I'm giving them.

Courtney - 5-1 There isn't really much that I need to say about her, she is playing Ben like a fiddle looking to get as much air time as she can to boost her fame and career. And next week she gets naked for him.

Emily - 100-1 Based on next week's promo, you're an idiot. You sat there and regretted telling Ben what you thought about Courtney only to next week in the promo appearing to do the same thing. You're finished.

Kacie - 6-1 This might be a good bet at 6-1. She has a great relationship with Ben going, but every turn we see her crying and needing reassurance from Ben that they have something. So far Ben sees her as being sweet, and that might hold up, but my guess is that she just isn't strong enough to survive the stress and she'll eventually crumble.

Lindzi - 3-1 Still my odds on favorite even though we didn't see much of her this week. She likes all of the things that Ben does so she is a natural match for him, and so far no drama. But will Ben notice? My guess, she is the winner.

Jennifer (Big Red) - 5-1 Sneaking up as they come down the back stretch. Jennifer got the obligatory "if we can do this date, we can do anything." She seems like a nice and fun girl, but I'm thinking that she might be a little too plain for Ben. Big Red has a chance though.

Blakely - 15-1 She's still on the show? Remember a couple weeks ago where it looked like she was going to be the villain this season? I don't think she spoke a word the entire episode. Might just be an extra at this point.

Elyse - 50-1 "Who is that black haired girl?" an actual quote between Jen and I. I'd write something fun and insightful, but seriously who is she?

Casey - 35-1 Courtney's friend. Really that's all I've got.

Rachel - 25-1 Miss Personality. That was some chemistry that they had on that one on one date. Pretty awesome date when all you're date can do is talk about how pretty the location is that you're at. Eventually she started to speak when it was clear that he wasn't going to give her a rose, and presto! She got a rose to last one more week. It's short lived, she'll go back in her shell and Ben will ship her off.

Nikki - 8-1 This right here is my vote for the tearfulest goodbye this season. When that dagger falls, she's going to break down like a waterfall. She might also be one of the final 3, you know since they have that whole "someone we know just died." connection, creepy.

Feel free to comment with who you think is going to be there in the end. I need the attention. =)

Revenge - Victoria's Secret

First some bad news, if you've become a fan of the show then you're going to have to wait a couple of weeks for the next episode, which isn't scheduled until Feb 8th. The week after that on the 15th the Engagement party is going to take place, remember all that shooting business?

I would call this weeks episode a set up episode, and yet there was a whole bunch of stuff that happened as well. We got to see Emily be human feeling some guilt for what was happening to all of the people around the main targets. Amanda was sent away but I think that she'll be back, the writers have said so. Little tangent there on Amanda, couldn't you see her coming back trying to blackmail Emily? Interesting thing about stupid people, they always think they are smarter than they are, I could see her trying to outsmart Emily, good luck with that. Speaking of smart blackmailers, Tyler is supposed to be coming back at some point too. Other reveals this episode, we found out the lawyer was a good guy actually, and we found out that Charlotte is actually Emily's sister.

With all the twists and turns, I'll try to keep it as chronological as best I can. We open with Nolan and Emily watching the tape of her dad revealing that Charlotte is actually his daughter which while she doesn't say it, screws with Emily and her resolution about her plot. Later Nolan will ask her how much collateral damage is acceptable to her, and that was an issue for Emily to deal with the entire episode, "How much is too much?" Let's face it the Grayson's marriage was ruined, the kids were pretty much turned upside down over it, but it wasn't really bloody with the kids yet. A number of lives had been ruined that ruined her Dad's life, at what point was her thirst for revenge satisfied? I've started to notice that Nolan is kind of her inter-voice, when there are reasons for Emily to doubt her course of action, he will always be there prodding her like an inter-voice. And when she commits to an action he's gleefully there to partake in the excitement. A couple of episodes she tried to shut him out, but she had to let him back in, she needs him for her schemes, but I think she also needs that voice of "reason" to keep her grounded. And when Emily was almost killed by Tyler, Nolan was stabbed by him as well.

Next we see Daddy warbucks offering to Declan (Deck-hand) the expense to go to school with Charlotte as long as he can keep his grades up. As far as bribes go, that's not a bad one, everyone wins, yeah!!! Oh but what is this little flash drive that came from anonymous source? It's nothing less than a video of David Clarke saying that Charlotte is actually his daughter. Quickly Conrad rounds up his lawyer and is off to give Victoria some table scraps for her betrayal. It's one thing to have an affair, I mean that level of betrayal is bad enough, but to cover up having having a baby with another man, and then let them believe that it's yours, well that's just plain evil. Good for Conrad wanting to destroy Victoria for her little secret.

The next thing that we see is Conrad trying to pull himself away from the daughter that he loved. He had no malice towards Charlotte by keeping her trust in order, and how could he have, it's not like it was her fault. Yet he was disgusted by her presence for what she represented and was a very real reminder of the evils that he himself had committed. It's kind of that "Tell tale heart" where the guilt of what he did isn't as easy to dismiss when it shatters your perception of reality.

I also want to make a note that this was a great thing that Revenge did, they actually gave us the answer that Charlotte was David's daughter with 100% certainty last night rather than dragging it out for weeks. And that is why the show is as great as it is, the plot isn't about who the daughter is, the plot is about how the characters respond to the revelation that Charlotte is David's daughter. Sure Charlotte doesn't know yet and I get the feeling that she won't for a little while, but everyone else knows now, it's that dirty little secret that everyone keeps from the person involved just because no one wants to be the bad guy, when in fact you're all bad guys for not saying anything. Hello Penn State.

But while Charlotte was a major part of the plot this week it wasn't the only thing going on. Victoria needed to get to the bottom of who exposed her, prime suspect Amanda Clarke. Victoria invites her over for tea (do rich people drink tea all the time?) and offers up her version of a poison apple in the form of strawberries, which the real Amanda is allergic to. Amanda eats the fruit and pretty much confirms to Victoria that Amanda is not Amanda, something that she already knew. But Emily always one step ahead has her fake lawyer there to pick up the spoon and then swap it with some of Emily's DNA so that a positive match can be made, all to Victoria's disbelief, sorry Victoria, too slow.

Being too slow seems to be an issue with Victoria, she is very very reactionary, unlike the plotters in the show. But it's also very obvious that Victoria is one of the most powerful characters on the show as well. I was going to use the Queen on a chess board analogy because her power is absolute, but the Queen is hardly a reactionary piece but I guess that depends on how you play. At the same time the Queen can be taken out by any other piece on the board so while being powerful, a lowly pawn can take it down as well. Didn't someone use the word pawn once or twice in the episode too? Anyway my point is that Victoria is always one step behind on the show, every time that she thinks that she has the upper hand on someone, she gets out played by either Emily or Conrad who are just one step ahead.

Victoria sends one of her hired thugs after Amanda to go looking for the stolen tapes, hired thug then runs into Jack while in the act. Jack then gets the crap beaten out of him for his trouble, with the bad guy making sure that it's known he's a "bad guy" by giving a couple extra kicks to the chest even after he had clearly won. Jack ends up in bed and Nolan heads over to tell Emily what had happen, and just like the inter-voice role that he is goes on to tell her, "Jack's blood is on your hands." Duh... Why would he need to say that? Because it's what Emily's conscience is thinking. Emily now having also just met with Charlotte and finding out that, "She always wanted a sister." (Ka-pow!) is now really questioning what it is all worth. Emily meets up with Amanda, levels with her and then finally gets her off the show for a couple of weeks.

Meanwhile, Daniel goes and asks his mom what is Victoria's secret... Victoria leads him to believe that David Clarke raped her and that is the origin of Charlotte. Trying to save face there huh Victoria? Good luck with that.

Emily contemplates actually backing out of the wedding with Daniel because he has proven to be a good guy and that he and Jack and Charlotte don't deserve what is happening. However before she can tell Daniel that she wants to hold off on the wedding Daniel tells her that David Clarke raped his mom, instantly Emily is back on board with the line, "How about a May wedding?" My favorite line though was, "Are you sure that you want to marry into my crazy family?" "More than ever." with Emily's pointed nailed fingers wrapped around Daniel and... cut!

Let's be fair to Daniel for a minute though. What is Daniel supposed to think? David Clarke as far as he knows is a convicted murdering terrorist, why wouldn't he believe the worst? Hell even last episode we saw a scene where Emily herself even questioned that her father was innocent. My big guess is that Nolan will point this out to her and she will dismiss his input, much like she has to shut out her inner-conscience and "commit" to doing what must be done.

One final thing before leaving you this week, when our hired thug left Jack's place one of the tapes was left under Jack's bed by accident. One guess which of the many tapes that was, I'm going with the reveal that Charlotte is David's daughter. And isn't it perfect that it was left in a place where Declan will find it, and thus be the one to reveal it to Charlotte. And we were wondering why those characters were wrapped up with each other... Speaking of characters that we're left wondering about, what is the deal with Ashley, is she going to get a purpose at some point?

What can I say the episode was revealing, but kept teasing us with some obvious drama that was to come. Much like the apparel found at...

The Bachelor - Meet the next Bachelorette, and some other stuff...

Welcome to another week of fake tv love and rose ceremonies. Say it with me in Chris Harrison's voice, "This week, on the Bachelor"... The "lovely" "ladies" are whisked away to San Francisco for the next step in the "journey" that is the the bachelor. The evening starts off with Ben talking to his sister Julia (who looks a lot like our friend Sara, Sara now that we've exposed your double life, we are all going to expect lots of free wine!). While enjoying their morning drinks Ben goes on to tell her that he's developing feelings for the women and thinks that his future wife might be there.

Honestly couldn't the producers of the show give us something a little more creative than this canned dialogue that we see every season. For that matter the whole thing is canned and is an exact repeat of previous seasons, just with different people in the mix trying to "win". That being said let's jump ahead to the first date of the night, a date card for Emily that says, "Love lifts us up." (Don't make me break out the "On the wings of love" theme song that we had to deal with a couple seasons ago.) I just realized that I have now watched several seasons of the Bachelor... I must go hang my head in shame...

Emily upon hearing the clue about her date is both excited and terrified, knowing that it sounds like she is going to go someplace very very high up. A little bit of advice if anyone reading is looking at going on the show at some point in the future, when the questionnaire asks you if you have a fear of heights, even if you do, put no. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for a day of bungee jumping, tightrope walking, suspension bridge crossing, skydiving, strapping on a jet pack, or in this case, climbing a bridge. A bridge that if I remember correctly partially collapsed back in 1988 during the big earthquake that hit during the world series.

Initially I was going to give Ben a pass at the "let's test the girls" bit, because it has become obvious that the star of the show in every season isn't picking the date. Every season it's the same thing, let's do something really scary just to see how the ladies respond to it. That isn't Ben's fault, it's the producers, but then after the way he handled the situation with Emily, Ben is a tool.

Emily scared that she might not be able to make it all the way up starts to freak out and there is Ben (with ear piece getting orders from the director to make her continue [not sure if there was an ear piece, but you get my point]) so Ben keeps pressing her to make it up the bridge and in order to restore her confidence he gives her a kiss right there on the bridge and instantly she's Spiderwomen ready to make the full assent. To me (and this might just be me here) Ben should have just told her that it was ok, they didn't have to do it, and allowed her to turn around and walk back down. That might just be me, but if she doesn't want to climb a bridge, don't make her climb a bridge. But here is the thing, even if Ben was thinking that, my guess is that he was just doing what the producers told him to do, because there was going to be a great photo-op once they got to the top. It just struck me that he didn't really care about her feelings, it was more about making it look good on film, and I have two more incidents where Ben helps solidify that, maybe three.

Next up a fleet of Honda CRVs (looked like a great car wink wink) show up to take the "ladies" skiing down the streets of San Francisco. I'll be honest, that's actually pretty cool, as much as I love to rip on the show, that was actually pretty cool. But then leave it to the bachelor producers to make something that is cool and fun and turn it into something trashy. Seriously it's almost like Donald Trump took over Disney. (If anyone doesn't understand why I keep bringing up Disney, Disney owns ABC). So we get to see the ladies in their skimpiest bikini's trying to ski down the man made snow, anyone else reminded of the show "Wipe-Out"? I'm not sure how many of them could ski and it didn't really look like Ben cared one way or another, all he saw were half naked girls skiing down the hill and wiping out on the asphalt. FYI ladies, skiing is pretty hot even without bikini's and it's a great work out.

Meanwhile at the hotel of tears, Brittney is given the key to the city, and couldn't be any more happy to be getting to have a one on one date with Ben. Oh wait, no she was actually in tears because she got a date card. As my wife quickly pointed out, she got the card because Ben was on the fence with her. You hear that ladies, you can bring your grandmother on the first date to get you in the door, but after that you're on your own. My wife had the more noble way of looking at it, I on the other hand saw through her little scheme... She was upset because if she didn't get the rose on that one on one date than that would mean that she'd never get to see all the wonderful places around the world that are "the best place in the world to fall in love." That's right Brittney, Ben saw through your little scheme and was going to be sending you packing. You had two choices, jump ship yourself or whore it up on the one one one date. And let's be fair she wasn't about to go whoring it up like the other "ladies" just for a couple exotic vacations, she brought her grandmother on the show for goodness sake! So she headed down to the group date and told Ben that she was leaving.

Ben was devastated! He could hardly contain his emotions at the thought of losing Brittney... Oh wait, that's not right, he didn't give a shit. It really was, "Oh you're leaving? Ok bye." ABC did their best to make it look like Ben cared, by having him sit on the side and contemplate the thought that this was getting serious and that emotions were running high for everyone and that people were going to get hurt, but did you actually believe it was genuine?

Lindzi was the lucky "lady" to pick up the rebound and go on the tour of San Francisco date. It was fine, no real drama there, I did learn why California is broke, they obviously are spending WAY too much money on building City Halls. And Lindzi told Ben about her one love and their break up story after a year and a half of dating. (Yep one love that lasted a year and a half and she's 28? baggage...) The quote from The Simpson's (yes the quote is originally from the Simpsons in the episode where Ralph is smitten by Lisa and she needs to break the bad news to him. Homer suggests the following line.) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population you." While it would suck in reality, I think it's pretty funny myself.

At this point I would like to introduce you to next seasons Bachelorette, Shawntel. WHAT?!?! OMG! Why is she there? OMG!!! A couple things, first, if she really wanted to be on the show with Ben (which she may have) then why didn't ABC have her there on the opening night? To create easy drama later on why else. Second, was there ANY possible way that adding her to the show at this point was not going to create an issue? So that leads me to believe that ABC wanted to use this opportunity to bring her "on stage" and remind everyone who she is so that next season she can have her own coven of men to pick from. Ok the funeral director thing is a little strange, but I think the strangeness that took place during Brad's season where she had him get on the table was staged for effect. Is it so hard to believe that the producers made her do that with Brad, which in turn creeped him out and caused him to dump her? Is this the producers admitting they might have screwed that up for her (for the best actually) and giving her a second chance? In Brad's season I liked her, if I remember correctly it wasn't just me. Also, she wasn't on Bachelor Pad was she? I think that would be an automatic disqualifier.

Flash forward to now and ABC bringing her on the show so that she will get dumped again on tv? Why? To make her feel like an even bigger tool? I don't buy that, it's a total set up. And did you notice during the commercials that they were looking for men to date the next bachelorette, last week was a general calling for people to be on the Bachelor, this week was more specific.

The one great effect that Shawtel did have on the show though was how she just exposed all the "ladies" for whom they really were. I can't be exactly sure who were throwing the daggers but if I remember correctly the ladies that Jen and I think are the front runners weren't getting their hands dirty. Instead you had the insecure bitches going nuts about her appearance. It was the ultimate reveal of each of their characters, one of the worst being the evil queen Courtney, and her, "See ya." as Ben was walking Shawntel out the door. I read online that some of the nastiness was edited out where Erika and Jacklyn made some even worst comments then what we saw, surprise nasty attitude doesn't get you a rose.

Now to end this weeks blog with two more things of note. The first thing was the comment that one of the "ladies" made when Shawntel showed up, "You lost." Really? I didn't realize that love was a game. Shame on me. What show have I been watching for the last couple of years? That is the major problem that I have with the Bachelor in general, it's not about finding love it's about finding fame and winning and losing. At one point maybe the show had some honest intentions, but I think those days are long past. How long can they keep the premise going that everyone is on a "journey" to "find love", be real it's about winning and losing and for some of them (Courtney) finding fame. Oh sure maybe a relationship can come out of the show, I mean there has been some success, but trying to weed through all of the obvious trash chicks makes the show a charade. Then again it takes all types, so who knows. Either way it's all WAY to formulamatic, and we continue to trudge on.

And finally, to me Ben doesn't care about the ladies at all. With Emily on the bridge it was all about "keep going". With Brittney it was "Bye". And with Erika passing out at the Rose ceremony, he didn't even react, he just stood there watching her fall. (Note to the producers: Don't put the rose ceremony on a balcony overlooking a 10+ story drop in the future) We got to see the ladies true colors this episode, and I think that we got to get a look at his too. Ben is on the show because ABC needed a candidate and he fit the bill. I could be wrong, but robot man just seems to be there doing what he is told.

Right now my favorites in the Ben Cup are:

Lindzi at 3-1
Emily at 5-1
Kasey at 6-1
Jennifer at 15-1
Nikki at 15-1
Courtney at 30-1
Blakely at 20-1
Field at 25-1

Sorry if I wasn't as funny this week, I'll try to take some notes next week, trying to remember and then write for a two hour show is tough.

Oh and watch Revenge, that show is great!