Welcome back to the single greatest bachelorette blog in the world, at least no one has told me differently so I'm going to just go with that empty confidence. So how is everyone this week, did you miss me? I missed all of you, but last week was so dreadfully boring that I just couldn't bring myself to doing a write up. Plus with the holiday in the middle of the week it kind of messed things up too.
So this week we find ourselves in the land famed for it's blue alcoholic drink, Curacao. Must say those were some nice looking residences there in their bright Caribbean colors, that would be matched perfectly with the red face of one unluckly contestant by the end of the episode.
First up, my least favorite of the three remaining "men", Sean. Now I'm not going to sugarcoat this, I can't stand this guy. Why is he my least favorite of the three remaining, a couple of reasons. First the guy is from Dallas, so.... Second the guy just looks like that dude a the bar that is scoring the chicks and taking them back to his place like it's just an average Saturday night. Considering that in my younger years I wasn't the most successful in such activities, I despise him. Third and what is a byproduct of number 2, the guy is fake to such a degree that is sicking. Ok normally the fakeness of Sean shouldn't be that big of a deal, but in this case we're talking about a single mom here, and you just don't mess with that, you're either in or your out, but more on that later with all of our "men".
The date itself looked like a train wreck to me. Oh sure they made out a bunch, but really Emily would make out with a hobo if he told her that he liked her shoes, so I'm discounting all kissing at this point. I think before the date even began you got a pretty good idea of where this date was going to end up. When the pre-date interview is focusing in on how he hasn't told Emily yet that he loves her, well you know where this is going to end up, dumpsville. But Emily was doing everything in her power to try and help Sean onto the next round. On the beach where she was asking him about his feelings, he just couldn't make that next leap in saying that he loved her. Instead, "I see you brought some snorkel equipment." So instead of saying that he loved her he just found a way to avoid the conversation as a whole.
Later at dinner the conversation became Sean's attempts to say whatever he thought that Emily wanted him to say. You know the normal, "you and I just work", "I could see you and I together forever", blaa blaa, but he failed when he forgot that, oh yeah Emily has a 6 year old daughter. At dinner Sean looked like a raved wolf eagerly waiting for that date card to show up. In his mind the thought of, "I've been half way around the world, I've told her everything I need to say according to my bar pick up guide. And I really think those big displays of looking for her in Prague and chasing after her car at my home town will have made all of the difference, I'm sure to get into her.... (public service announcement... yes ladies some men are pigs and will only have one thing on their mind, just be aware. ugh I can't wait for Hailey to start dating, I'm buying a gun...) Sorry got on a tangent there, the point is as Cuba Gooding said it best in Jerry Maguire, "Don't shoplift the pooty." Which is exactly what Sean was looking at doing. Considering that he didn't bring up Rikki except in courtesy at dinner, that was the final straw for him. Emily isn't looking for a man, she's looking for a husband and father and while the practical joke last week about you being a boy was just a joke, it might not have been too far from the truth. Sean you're a boy. I might be a little overly hard on the guy, because I think that he'd put in the effort with Rikki, who knows. Doesn't matter because he was sent packing anyway. I think they cut some onions up in the limo ride back to force some tears for the interview.
Next up, let's talk about Arie our not really a race car driver. No really look it up, he hasn't been in a race since 2010, and that was on a minor circuit. Remember third string Jessie Palmer? Presto! Oh sure he drove in the 2006 Indy 500, but he finished 28th out of 33. So the jig is up buddy, you're full of crap, or ABC is, or both of you. Shame, shame on you both for lying to us. And here I am believing that what I see on reality TV is 100% accurate, my whole perception of reality has been shattered, now I'll go cry with Sean.
Ok, I'm better now, back to Arie whom Emily loves to kiss as she has told us, compared to the other guys you don't like kissing??? To me Arie is the guy that Emily really really wants to pick, I mean she said it herself that she didn't trust herself to go back to the honeymoon suite with him, that pretty much summed up that he was going to get a rose at the tribal council. But here is the thing with Arie, is he ready to be a father? My thought is no he's not. The entire time that Emily was questioning him about Arie's typical day or night it all sounded a lot like a guy that wanted to be out and about around the town, he said it himself that he goes out to eat every night. Did it sound like to you a man that was ready to settle down and play father??? Oh sure I think all men need a little straighting up in order to be a good father, but even men are clueless, there is the desire to want to do it. To me it sounded like Arie was fine with having a child around as long as it didn't cramp his style. And his attitude on how he would approach the relationship with Rikki, sure Emily was eating it all up because she wanted to hear enough that she could give him the rubber stamp, but his talk about how he would try to be her buddy and stuff, sounded a lot like someone who has no idea what it means to have children, kind of like my brother (oh snap! don't worry he's not reading this). It's not that Arie would be bad at some point in the future, it's that he's not ready to do it now. Sure Ayden is my buddy, but he's also my son so there is a difference, maybe it's just me, but I'm going to make the assumption that those of you with kids out there know what I'm talking about. Or maybe I'm being stupid. Again not that Arie is a bad guy, I think that he's being honest with Emily, I just don't think that he's ready to jump into parenthood.
Finally we are left with Jef, the man with the audacity to actually question the bachelorette about how she saw the future. I'm sorry Jef haven't you watched this show before, you are supposed to sit there and just tell her everything that she wants to hear. Asking questions! The indignity of it all! How dare you have a two way conversation, get back to kissing like the other guys, damn you damn you. I think I could actually hear Chris Harrison in the background asking the producers if Jef was allowed to do that, it was just so unorthodox ed. Fun fact, Chris Harrison makes $60,000 per episode.
In all seriousness it was good to see Jef actually asking questions about their relationship and looking to build a solid foundation between the two of them. Any guesses whom I like the most this season? What I like about Jef is that he appears to be the most honest with them all and I think that he has a good understanding of what the future between the two of them is going to be like. Sure he has no experience with a 6 year old or being a father, but he seems like he's ready to take it on. But is the big kid ready? Well at least he's self aware of the fact that he is a big kid I think that is a plus.
Really the biggest plus with Jef in my opinion is that Emily actually has a personality around him, she just opens up and isn't all barbieish around him, I think that he makes her a better person, at least on the show. There is a natural chemistry between the two of them so he's the one that I'm rooting for. Of course TV isn't always the truest indicator of reality, SHOCKER!!! If we remember last season when Ben to me appeared to have great chemistry with Lindzi and he went and picked Courtney. Again another season of love or lust, and really how many of the seasons actually come down to that choice? The choice between whom you want and whom you need, who you date and who you marry, or something along those lines. Is this season any different? We have Arie whom Emily is beyond smitten for and Jef the guy that she naturally jels (intentional) with. In the end I think that she'll end up picking Arie and it won't work out because he isn't ready to jump to that next step in life. If Emily didn't have a daughter then I think they would be a decent match, but with the 6 year old, they are just in two different places in life. That's not to say that her and Jef aren't in two different places, but I think he at least understands the consequences and ramifications of dating Emily, Arie, not so much.
Tune in in two weeks for the "exciting" season finale of the bachelorette that you won't want to miss. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Thanks for reading
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