Welcome back my friends, how was your summer? Hopefully it was a good one. But alas we're not here to talk about pleasantries we're here to talk about some Revenge. First let's jump back to the questions that I listed right after the finale.
Is Victoria dead? No. Woohoo! I'm a winner! Turns out that Victoria is in the witness protection program, I'm giving myself bonus points for nailing witness protection too.
Is Lydia dead? We don't know, but if Victoria is alive it's likely that she is too.
Will Daniel and Ashley hook up? Yes
I'm 3 for 3 so far
Will Jack find out the truth about Emily? No, and guess what it's going to get even more twisted then before, just wait...
Charlotte dead? Nope, that one was pretty easy though.
Will the government continue it's case against Conrad? Yes they will. I got this one wrong. In hindsight it should have been easy to guess that one if I had already said "witness protection". I'll give myself negative points for not proof reading my theories.
Mr. Takada? I was right that we'd see him pretty quick, but what happen the ninja master get cancer or something, where is his hair? Maybe the guilt of knowing that he fathered Amanda's baby is just too much for him... Yeah right, that ain't happening.
And that about wraps up the guesses from last year, I'd say I did pretty well, I'll give myself a round of applause, how pitiful, I'm clapping for myself. "Charlotte! What's the name of your dealer? I am having some issues".
Ok enough history let's fire up the flux capacitor, hit 88 miles per hour and do some flash forwarding. We open the season with a boat, the Amanda no less, at the bottom of the ocean. And we it looks like someone lost an arm on board her. So since we're firing things up lets fire up the wheel of crazy guesses for the first time this season. First question, "Who's missing an arm?"
The easy guess would be Jack, but really that's just too easy. Decklan? Like we'd care. Nolan, nah Nolan is awesome. There is the off chance that it could be the white haired guy, but I'm putting my money down on something a whole lot more twisted, Amanda...
I know you're shocked. Take a moment to regain your breath, I'll wait for you...
Ready? Ok good. It has to be Amanda, don't let the man's shirt fool you, it's Amanda. Here is the theory. In the show this evening they made the comment that it was 4 weeks until her due date (they said it, go check your DVRs), the first thing we see after the arm is Emily doing her best impression of a pier support and int he caption it says, "Three months earlier". I'm guessing that the boat will be found at the bottom of the ocean mid season, similar to how the engagement party was mid season last season, so if the timeline holds, that would put the ship sinking around Labor Day, the same as the engagement party last season. What that means is that Amanda will have had the baby by then and it will be about 2 months old, so while slight there is possibility that Amanda jumped on the boat with baby in tow in an effort to run away from things. No the baby isn't dead, don't worry about that, there is no way that the baby could be harmed, after all, who is the Godmother???
That's right ladies and gentlemen the best twist of the evening was dished up by Emily herself, unbeknownst to her of course. But can't you just see it. Jack alone trying to raise a baby child and the only help that he gets coming from, you guessed it, Emily the now Godmother of the baby!!! We'll get to see Emily and Jack bound together, in love with each other, Jack in grief thinking that Amanda was the same Amanda of old, so I can just imagine that he'll be doing a lot of brooding. Emily not able to tell him the truth and spare him some of the pain (not that it really would) because she'll be endangering her plans of finding her mother. And with how Emily has been genuinely concerned about Charlotte, you know Emily will do the right thing. It's going to be a laugh a minute in that dysfunctional household. But wait it gets better...
Apparently the writers figured out that no one likes bad Daniel so we got to see a depressed Daniel wondering if he might have done the wrong thing with Emily in breaking things off. Oh sure (Conrad voice) he'll say that he's over her because she cheated, but once he finds out about his pops with Ashley I'm sure that he'll find Emily a much better option. Besides he really does care about her, and without his mommy dearest there to discourage him, he might develop feelings again for her. I'm pretty much bet on it. Emily needs a way to get in with the Grayson's (Don't think that Victoria is really going to work there) so why not go down the Daniel path again, you know for the next 3 months until, you know, she has to go play house with Jack in order to raise a baby.
This show is so over the top, and it knows it, that's why it's great.
Oh let's put a little icing on the raising the baby cake too. Jack and baby have to move in with Emily to raise the baby because you know it's just not right to raise a baby in a bar, Decklan even said so, thanks Deck!
Should we get into Emily's little Batgirl / League of Shadows training course? Naw toss that one on the back burner for a while. (I couldn't resist the reference).
How about Conrad trying to screw over his kids for their trusts? ...
Am I missing anyone? Oh my I almost forgot Robin, living it up at the Batcave. In other words Nolan. Good to see old Nolan working out a little, sure he won't be all ninja ready, but at least he might be able to handle himself a little more. I'm figuring that he'll end up saving Emily at some point this season as a result of his little bit of training. Hey they say it only takes a couple months for that P90X to work so who knows. After the way episode 1 ended I'm guessing that his first lines in episode 2 are going to be that he is out looking for a new place to stay since white hair is going to be coming after Emily. We missed you Nolan, please don't go sailing.
And before I forget I can't leave without bringing up Emily's trip to Silent Hill (no I don't expect anyone to get that reference, but I will thank Nolan for bringing up flesh eating zombies, apparently I was on the same page as the writers, scary I know). The question came up, "How were they able to find a visitor register?" My take is that when the Grayson's closed the place down, all of the files were taken out as well, but not the copier for some odd reason... Anyway who would think of grabbing a visitor register from behind the reception desk? It's a pretty low priority item when you think about it, so I could see it still sitting there. There isn't really much to speculate on the state of Emily's mom at this point, we're led to believe that she was crazy, but I doubt that's the case, I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.
One more puzzling question. The white haired guy knows who Emily is, he knows what she is capable of, and he has stayed away, why wouldn't he say something to Victoria... Once again, Victoria is one step behind the rest of the players, she thinks that she is in control, but in reality she's behind in the game. Any takers in thinking that the white haired guy is a part of the ninja squad too? Maybe he's on the other ninja team, he's apart of Cobra Kai dojo, you know, "Sweep the leg." (Karate Kid, anyone?) So what are all these ninja masters up to? (Yes I know they aren't all ninjas, but I'm having fun here). Going back to last season it seemed like a likely theory that they might be the terrorist organization that Conrad was funneling money to. If that's so then they have a vested interest in keeping things quiet. But if that is so then why was Takada helping out Emily in the first place? My guess Takada was a part of the group but broke away after the plane crash and has been using Emily to get his own revenge on the Greyson's and the ninja clan that betrayed him as well. Ah yes the plot thickens..
"Adam wait. You're talking about terrorists, ninja, baby mamas, witness protection, stealing trust funds, people named Decklan, you're crazy."
"Maybe... I also remember when Lost was just a show about a plane crash?...
Welcome back."
