Last week I got too formulaic with things breaking down scene by scene what was going on and I realized something, that's pointless, if you're reading this you watched the show so you don't need me to rehash what happened. So this week I'm going to mix it up and just hit on the big stuff and then breakdown the ladies on who I think is going to win and why.
So some quick highlights.
Park City Utah as I think it was Kacie said, "It's the perfect place to fall in love." I have now decided that this is a running joke with the Bachelor. Last season every place that Ashley led the dating death march was the "perfect place to fall in love" at the time I was sickened by their tripe, but now I get it, it's a joke that the writers are throwing in there for people like me to bitch about. Writers? I thought this was a reality show...
Speaking of the writers let's all give a golf clap for Courtney being the only lady to catch a fish. Now I'm not sure how many of you have ever gone fishing, but I'll assume that the most of you have at one point or another. And since you have been fishing you probably remember a bucket of caught fish flopping around trying to get out of the bucket. Flash back to last night where Courtney was standing on the shore holding the a very lifeless fish by the tail. Did that look like a fish that had just been caught? The answer of course is no. There is a proper way to hold a fish, under the gills the reason being so that it can't jump away from you. Plus can you imagine Courtney holding a live fish? My guess is that that to help further the growing conflict within the show they planted the fish just to mix it up. Seriously let's take a group of women that have never been fly fishing before and BAM! one of them catches a fish, and it just happens to be the bitchest one of them all. Whatever you say ABC, but I'm calling bullshit on that one.
Speaking of putting up with some BS, Ben was in no mood to deal with it from Samantha as he sent her packing. Samantha complained to the Bachelor that she was only getting group dates and wasn't getting enough time to spend with Ben. Ben quickly gave her the, "Bitch! I'm the M----R F-----G Bachelor" speech. "You'll get time when I damn well say you get time." You know a pimp has to keep his whoes in line, lest they get mouthy. Now while I can respect Ben being honest with her and saying that it's just not working out between the two of them and that he thinks it's best that she goes home, he pulled out the A-hole card, fame completely inflating his self worth. Just remember Ben without the show, you're a guy that makes wine and really needs a haircut, most of these ladies would never give you the time of day if it weren't for those cameras inflating your ego.
And while I'm talking about inflated egos, let's get back to Courtney and how she is twisting his ego around upon her pinky. For all of those who don't keep up with trivial Hollywood news, Courtney used to date the lawn mower guy on Desperate Housewives, Jessie something... So keep that in mind when our little model is so obviously manipulating Ben. Funny, for as awesome as Ben thinks he is based on his conversation with Samantha, he's in the same position with Courtney, as the spider spins her little web around him. It's pathetic actually watching him fall for every word that she says, reassuring her that he has feelings for her when she asks for reassurance, and then coyly pretending that she might be able to make it through one more day of all of this. Wait, didn't you just send Samantha home for the same reason???
It's pretty obvious to all of us that Courtney is there for all of the wrong reasons, then again, what are the right reasons, you all went on a tv show to meet someone, but really it's all about fame at this point and "Winning!" But since some of the ladies really do believe in the "process" and evidently have never watched a previous episode, one of them feels it's time to warn the Bachelor about the "one girl that is in the house without true intentions." This seasons short straw loser for getting to talk to Ben is Miss Emily, who while is studying to be a disease specialist didn't inoculate herself against stupid.
Emily sits Ben down to talk about Courtney and tell him that she is just not the same girl in the house that he sees. Quickly Ben turns it around on Emily telling her that she shouldn't waste her time concerning herself with other women because it will be "her demise". Ben's reaction was more along the lines of, "Chick! I'm the M----R F-----G Bachelor, you need to start worshiping me so that I, MIGHT give you a date card if I deem you worthy of my time." Can I make it sound any cheaper? But really isn't that what is going on? I'll shamefully admit that I could kind of see how the show could work, but watching Ben put the women through his ongoing judgement, it's more like he's shopping for women at some high end store where the sales agents have to cater to the every whim of their client or else they'll walk off to shop at the next store.
And then finally when Courtney confronted Emily about talking smack about her, Emily played dumb and denied it. Really Emily? If you're going to talk to Ben about your issues with Courtney, you might as well be ready for the repercussions of your actions. What did you think that Ben was going to instantly say, "You're right, what was I thinking?" And cast Courtney out after he's so obviously been smitten by her? No, he was going to do exactly what he did, nothing, and you were going to be left in the awkward position of facing Courtney, whom you just tossed under a bus. I can't stand Courtney, but I give her props for not being afraid to defend herself. Wouldn't someone like Courtney be a great Bachelorette? That would be a fun season. In the end Emily gets a rose because ABC decided that they needed to keep her around another week so that there will be another potential blow up between her and Courtney. And thank God Courtney was just in Puerto Rico a couple weeks ago, she can show them all around the island on her group date.
So let's break down the field and what odds I'm giving them.
Courtney - 5-1 There isn't really much that I need to say about her, she is playing Ben like a fiddle looking to get as much air time as she can to boost her fame and career. And next week she gets naked for him.
Emily - 100-1 Based on next week's promo, you're an idiot. You sat there and regretted telling Ben what you thought about Courtney only to next week in the promo appearing to do the same thing. You're finished.
Kacie - 6-1 This might be a good bet at 6-1. She has a great relationship with Ben going, but every turn we see her crying and needing reassurance from Ben that they have something. So far Ben sees her as being sweet, and that might hold up, but my guess is that she just isn't strong enough to survive the stress and she'll eventually crumble.
Lindzi - 3-1 Still my odds on favorite even though we didn't see much of her this week. She likes all of the things that Ben does so she is a natural match for him, and so far no drama. But will Ben notice? My guess, she is the winner.
Jennifer (Big Red) - 5-1 Sneaking up as they come down the back stretch. Jennifer got the obligatory "if we can do this date, we can do anything." She seems like a nice and fun girl, but I'm thinking that she might be a little too plain for Ben. Big Red has a chance though.
Blakely - 15-1 She's still on the show? Remember a couple weeks ago where it looked like she was going to be the villain this season? I don't think she spoke a word the entire episode. Might just be an extra at this point.
Elyse - 50-1 "Who is that black haired girl?" an actual quote between Jen and I. I'd write something fun and insightful, but seriously who is she?
Casey - 35-1 Courtney's friend. Really that's all I've got.
Rachel - 25-1 Miss Personality. That was some chemistry that they had on that one on one date. Pretty awesome date when all you're date can do is talk about how pretty the location is that you're at. Eventually she started to speak when it was clear that he wasn't going to give her a rose, and presto! She got a rose to last one more week. It's short lived, she'll go back in her shell and Ben will ship her off.
Nikki - 8-1 This right here is my vote for the tearfulest goodbye this season. When that dagger falls, she's going to break down like a waterfall. She might also be one of the final 3, you know since they have that whole "someone we know just died." connection, creepy.
Feel free to comment with who you think is going to be there in the end. I need the attention. =)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Revenge - Victoria's Secret
First some bad news, if you've become a fan of the show then you're going to have to wait a couple of weeks for the next episode, which isn't scheduled until Feb 8th. The week after that on the 15th the Engagement party is going to take place, remember all that shooting business?
I would call this weeks episode a set up episode, and yet there was a whole bunch of stuff that happened as well. We got to see Emily be human feeling some guilt for what was happening to all of the people around the main targets. Amanda was sent away but I think that she'll be back, the writers have said so. Little tangent there on Amanda, couldn't you see her coming back trying to blackmail Emily? Interesting thing about stupid people, they always think they are smarter than they are, I could see her trying to outsmart Emily, good luck with that. Speaking of smart blackmailers, Tyler is supposed to be coming back at some point too. Other reveals this episode, we found out the lawyer was a good guy actually, and we found out that Charlotte is actually Emily's sister.
With all the twists and turns, I'll try to keep it as chronological as best I can. We open with Nolan and Emily watching the tape of her dad revealing that Charlotte is actually his daughter which while she doesn't say it, screws with Emily and her resolution about her plot. Later Nolan will ask her how much collateral damage is acceptable to her, and that was an issue for Emily to deal with the entire episode, "How much is too much?" Let's face it the Grayson's marriage was ruined, the kids were pretty much turned upside down over it, but it wasn't really bloody with the kids yet. A number of lives had been ruined that ruined her Dad's life, at what point was her thirst for revenge satisfied? I've started to notice that Nolan is kind of her inter-voice, when there are reasons for Emily to doubt her course of action, he will always be there prodding her like an inter-voice. And when she commits to an action he's gleefully there to partake in the excitement. A couple of episodes she tried to shut him out, but she had to let him back in, she needs him for her schemes, but I think she also needs that voice of "reason" to keep her grounded. And when Emily was almost killed by Tyler, Nolan was stabbed by him as well.
Next we see Daddy warbucks offering to Declan (Deck-hand) the expense to go to school with Charlotte as long as he can keep his grades up. As far as bribes go, that's not a bad one, everyone wins, yeah!!! Oh but what is this little flash drive that came from anonymous source? It's nothing less than a video of David Clarke saying that Charlotte is actually his daughter. Quickly Conrad rounds up his lawyer and is off to give Victoria some table scraps for her betrayal. It's one thing to have an affair, I mean that level of betrayal is bad enough, but to cover up having having a baby with another man, and then let them believe that it's yours, well that's just plain evil. Good for Conrad wanting to destroy Victoria for her little secret.
The next thing that we see is Conrad trying to pull himself away from the daughter that he loved. He had no malice towards Charlotte by keeping her trust in order, and how could he have, it's not like it was her fault. Yet he was disgusted by her presence for what she represented and was a very real reminder of the evils that he himself had committed. It's kind of that "Tell tale heart" where the guilt of what he did isn't as easy to dismiss when it shatters your perception of reality.
I also want to make a note that this was a great thing that Revenge did, they actually gave us the answer that Charlotte was David's daughter with 100% certainty last night rather than dragging it out for weeks. And that is why the show is as great as it is, the plot isn't about who the daughter is, the plot is about how the characters respond to the revelation that Charlotte is David's daughter. Sure Charlotte doesn't know yet and I get the feeling that she won't for a little while, but everyone else knows now, it's that dirty little secret that everyone keeps from the person involved just because no one wants to be the bad guy, when in fact you're all bad guys for not saying anything. Hello Penn State.
But while Charlotte was a major part of the plot this week it wasn't the only thing going on. Victoria needed to get to the bottom of who exposed her, prime suspect Amanda Clarke. Victoria invites her over for tea (do rich people drink tea all the time?) and offers up her version of a poison apple in the form of strawberries, which the real Amanda is allergic to. Amanda eats the fruit and pretty much confirms to Victoria that Amanda is not Amanda, something that she already knew. But Emily always one step ahead has her fake lawyer there to pick up the spoon and then swap it with some of Emily's DNA so that a positive match can be made, all to Victoria's disbelief, sorry Victoria, too slow.
Being too slow seems to be an issue with Victoria, she is very very reactionary, unlike the plotters in the show. But it's also very obvious that Victoria is one of the most powerful characters on the show as well. I was going to use the Queen on a chess board analogy because her power is absolute, but the Queen is hardly a reactionary piece but I guess that depends on how you play. At the same time the Queen can be taken out by any other piece on the board so while being powerful, a lowly pawn can take it down as well. Didn't someone use the word pawn once or twice in the episode too? Anyway my point is that Victoria is always one step behind on the show, every time that she thinks that she has the upper hand on someone, she gets out played by either Emily or Conrad who are just one step ahead.
Victoria sends one of her hired thugs after Amanda to go looking for the stolen tapes, hired thug then runs into Jack while in the act. Jack then gets the crap beaten out of him for his trouble, with the bad guy making sure that it's known he's a "bad guy" by giving a couple extra kicks to the chest even after he had clearly won. Jack ends up in bed and Nolan heads over to tell Emily what had happen, and just like the inter-voice role that he is goes on to tell her, "Jack's blood is on your hands." Duh... Why would he need to say that? Because it's what Emily's conscience is thinking. Emily now having also just met with Charlotte and finding out that, "She always wanted a sister." (Ka-pow!) is now really questioning what it is all worth. Emily meets up with Amanda, levels with her and then finally gets her off the show for a couple of weeks.
Meanwhile, Daniel goes and asks his mom what is Victoria's secret... Victoria leads him to believe that David Clarke raped her and that is the origin of Charlotte. Trying to save face there huh Victoria? Good luck with that.
Emily contemplates actually backing out of the wedding with Daniel because he has proven to be a good guy and that he and Jack and Charlotte don't deserve what is happening. However before she can tell Daniel that she wants to hold off on the wedding Daniel tells her that David Clarke raped his mom, instantly Emily is back on board with the line, "How about a May wedding?" My favorite line though was, "Are you sure that you want to marry into my crazy family?" "More than ever." with Emily's pointed nailed fingers wrapped around Daniel and... cut!
Let's be fair to Daniel for a minute though. What is Daniel supposed to think? David Clarke as far as he knows is a convicted murdering terrorist, why wouldn't he believe the worst? Hell even last episode we saw a scene where Emily herself even questioned that her father was innocent. My big guess is that Nolan will point this out to her and she will dismiss his input, much like she has to shut out her inner-conscience and "commit" to doing what must be done.
One final thing before leaving you this week, when our hired thug left Jack's place one of the tapes was left under Jack's bed by accident. One guess which of the many tapes that was, I'm going with the reveal that Charlotte is David's daughter. And isn't it perfect that it was left in a place where Declan will find it, and thus be the one to reveal it to Charlotte. And we were wondering why those characters were wrapped up with each other... Speaking of characters that we're left wondering about, what is the deal with Ashley, is she going to get a purpose at some point?
What can I say the episode was revealing, but kept teasing us with some obvious drama that was to come. Much like the apparel found at...
I would call this weeks episode a set up episode, and yet there was a whole bunch of stuff that happened as well. We got to see Emily be human feeling some guilt for what was happening to all of the people around the main targets. Amanda was sent away but I think that she'll be back, the writers have said so. Little tangent there on Amanda, couldn't you see her coming back trying to blackmail Emily? Interesting thing about stupid people, they always think they are smarter than they are, I could see her trying to outsmart Emily, good luck with that. Speaking of smart blackmailers, Tyler is supposed to be coming back at some point too. Other reveals this episode, we found out the lawyer was a good guy actually, and we found out that Charlotte is actually Emily's sister.
With all the twists and turns, I'll try to keep it as chronological as best I can. We open with Nolan and Emily watching the tape of her dad revealing that Charlotte is actually his daughter which while she doesn't say it, screws with Emily and her resolution about her plot. Later Nolan will ask her how much collateral damage is acceptable to her, and that was an issue for Emily to deal with the entire episode, "How much is too much?" Let's face it the Grayson's marriage was ruined, the kids were pretty much turned upside down over it, but it wasn't really bloody with the kids yet. A number of lives had been ruined that ruined her Dad's life, at what point was her thirst for revenge satisfied? I've started to notice that Nolan is kind of her inter-voice, when there are reasons for Emily to doubt her course of action, he will always be there prodding her like an inter-voice. And when she commits to an action he's gleefully there to partake in the excitement. A couple of episodes she tried to shut him out, but she had to let him back in, she needs him for her schemes, but I think she also needs that voice of "reason" to keep her grounded. And when Emily was almost killed by Tyler, Nolan was stabbed by him as well.
Next we see Daddy warbucks offering to Declan (Deck-hand) the expense to go to school with Charlotte as long as he can keep his grades up. As far as bribes go, that's not a bad one, everyone wins, yeah!!! Oh but what is this little flash drive that came from anonymous source? It's nothing less than a video of David Clarke saying that Charlotte is actually his daughter. Quickly Conrad rounds up his lawyer and is off to give Victoria some table scraps for her betrayal. It's one thing to have an affair, I mean that level of betrayal is bad enough, but to cover up having having a baby with another man, and then let them believe that it's yours, well that's just plain evil. Good for Conrad wanting to destroy Victoria for her little secret.
The next thing that we see is Conrad trying to pull himself away from the daughter that he loved. He had no malice towards Charlotte by keeping her trust in order, and how could he have, it's not like it was her fault. Yet he was disgusted by her presence for what she represented and was a very real reminder of the evils that he himself had committed. It's kind of that "Tell tale heart" where the guilt of what he did isn't as easy to dismiss when it shatters your perception of reality.
I also want to make a note that this was a great thing that Revenge did, they actually gave us the answer that Charlotte was David's daughter with 100% certainty last night rather than dragging it out for weeks. And that is why the show is as great as it is, the plot isn't about who the daughter is, the plot is about how the characters respond to the revelation that Charlotte is David's daughter. Sure Charlotte doesn't know yet and I get the feeling that she won't for a little while, but everyone else knows now, it's that dirty little secret that everyone keeps from the person involved just because no one wants to be the bad guy, when in fact you're all bad guys for not saying anything. Hello Penn State.
But while Charlotte was a major part of the plot this week it wasn't the only thing going on. Victoria needed to get to the bottom of who exposed her, prime suspect Amanda Clarke. Victoria invites her over for tea (do rich people drink tea all the time?) and offers up her version of a poison apple in the form of strawberries, which the real Amanda is allergic to. Amanda eats the fruit and pretty much confirms to Victoria that Amanda is not Amanda, something that she already knew. But Emily always one step ahead has her fake lawyer there to pick up the spoon and then swap it with some of Emily's DNA so that a positive match can be made, all to Victoria's disbelief, sorry Victoria, too slow.
Being too slow seems to be an issue with Victoria, she is very very reactionary, unlike the plotters in the show. But it's also very obvious that Victoria is one of the most powerful characters on the show as well. I was going to use the Queen on a chess board analogy because her power is absolute, but the Queen is hardly a reactionary piece but I guess that depends on how you play. At the same time the Queen can be taken out by any other piece on the board so while being powerful, a lowly pawn can take it down as well. Didn't someone use the word pawn once or twice in the episode too? Anyway my point is that Victoria is always one step behind on the show, every time that she thinks that she has the upper hand on someone, she gets out played by either Emily or Conrad who are just one step ahead.
Victoria sends one of her hired thugs after Amanda to go looking for the stolen tapes, hired thug then runs into Jack while in the act. Jack then gets the crap beaten out of him for his trouble, with the bad guy making sure that it's known he's a "bad guy" by giving a couple extra kicks to the chest even after he had clearly won. Jack ends up in bed and Nolan heads over to tell Emily what had happen, and just like the inter-voice role that he is goes on to tell her, "Jack's blood is on your hands." Duh... Why would he need to say that? Because it's what Emily's conscience is thinking. Emily now having also just met with Charlotte and finding out that, "She always wanted a sister." (Ka-pow!) is now really questioning what it is all worth. Emily meets up with Amanda, levels with her and then finally gets her off the show for a couple of weeks.
Meanwhile, Daniel goes and asks his mom what is Victoria's secret... Victoria leads him to believe that David Clarke raped her and that is the origin of Charlotte. Trying to save face there huh Victoria? Good luck with that.
Emily contemplates actually backing out of the wedding with Daniel because he has proven to be a good guy and that he and Jack and Charlotte don't deserve what is happening. However before she can tell Daniel that she wants to hold off on the wedding Daniel tells her that David Clarke raped his mom, instantly Emily is back on board with the line, "How about a May wedding?" My favorite line though was, "Are you sure that you want to marry into my crazy family?" "More than ever." with Emily's pointed nailed fingers wrapped around Daniel and... cut!
Let's be fair to Daniel for a minute though. What is Daniel supposed to think? David Clarke as far as he knows is a convicted murdering terrorist, why wouldn't he believe the worst? Hell even last episode we saw a scene where Emily herself even questioned that her father was innocent. My big guess is that Nolan will point this out to her and she will dismiss his input, much like she has to shut out her inner-conscience and "commit" to doing what must be done.
One final thing before leaving you this week, when our hired thug left Jack's place one of the tapes was left under Jack's bed by accident. One guess which of the many tapes that was, I'm going with the reveal that Charlotte is David's daughter. And isn't it perfect that it was left in a place where Declan will find it, and thus be the one to reveal it to Charlotte. And we were wondering why those characters were wrapped up with each other... Speaking of characters that we're left wondering about, what is the deal with Ashley, is she going to get a purpose at some point?
What can I say the episode was revealing, but kept teasing us with some obvious drama that was to come. Much like the apparel found at...
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Bachelor - Meet the next Bachelorette, and some other stuff...
Welcome to another week of fake tv love and rose ceremonies. Say it with me in Chris Harrison's voice, "This week, on the Bachelor"... The "lovely" "ladies" are whisked away to San Francisco for the next step in the "journey" that is the the bachelor. The evening starts off with Ben talking to his sister Julia (who looks a lot like our friend Sara, Sara now that we've exposed your double life, we are all going to expect lots of free wine!). While enjoying their morning drinks Ben goes on to tell her that he's developing feelings for the women and thinks that his future wife might be there.
Honestly couldn't the producers of the show give us something a little more creative than this canned dialogue that we see every season. For that matter the whole thing is canned and is an exact repeat of previous seasons, just with different people in the mix trying to "win". That being said let's jump ahead to the first date of the night, a date card for Emily that says, "Love lifts us up." (Don't make me break out the "On the wings of love" theme song that we had to deal with a couple seasons ago.) I just realized that I have now watched several seasons of the Bachelor... I must go hang my head in shame...
Emily upon hearing the clue about her date is both excited and terrified, knowing that it sounds like she is going to go someplace very very high up. A little bit of advice if anyone reading is looking at going on the show at some point in the future, when the questionnaire asks you if you have a fear of heights, even if you do, put no. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for a day of bungee jumping, tightrope walking, suspension bridge crossing, skydiving, strapping on a jet pack, or in this case, climbing a bridge. A bridge that if I remember correctly partially collapsed back in 1988 during the big earthquake that hit during the world series.
Initially I was going to give Ben a pass at the "let's test the girls" bit, because it has become obvious that the star of the show in every season isn't picking the date. Every season it's the same thing, let's do something really scary just to see how the ladies respond to it. That isn't Ben's fault, it's the producers, but then after the way he handled the situation with Emily, Ben is a tool.
Emily scared that she might not be able to make it all the way up starts to freak out and there is Ben (with ear piece getting orders from the director to make her continue [not sure if there was an ear piece, but you get my point]) so Ben keeps pressing her to make it up the bridge and in order to restore her confidence he gives her a kiss right there on the bridge and instantly she's Spiderwomen ready to make the full assent. To me (and this might just be me here) Ben should have just told her that it was ok, they didn't have to do it, and allowed her to turn around and walk back down. That might just be me, but if she doesn't want to climb a bridge, don't make her climb a bridge. But here is the thing, even if Ben was thinking that, my guess is that he was just doing what the producers told him to do, because there was going to be a great photo-op once they got to the top. It just struck me that he didn't really care about her feelings, it was more about making it look good on film, and I have two more incidents where Ben helps solidify that, maybe three.
Next up a fleet of Honda CRVs (looked like a great car wink wink) show up to take the "ladies" skiing down the streets of San Francisco. I'll be honest, that's actually pretty cool, as much as I love to rip on the show, that was actually pretty cool. But then leave it to the bachelor producers to make something that is cool and fun and turn it into something trashy. Seriously it's almost like Donald Trump took over Disney. (If anyone doesn't understand why I keep bringing up Disney, Disney owns ABC). So we get to see the ladies in their skimpiest bikini's trying to ski down the man made snow, anyone else reminded of the show "Wipe-Out"? I'm not sure how many of them could ski and it didn't really look like Ben cared one way or another, all he saw were half naked girls skiing down the hill and wiping out on the asphalt. FYI ladies, skiing is pretty hot even without bikini's and it's a great work out.
Meanwhile at the hotel of tears, Brittney is given the key to the city, and couldn't be any more happy to be getting to have a one on one date with Ben. Oh wait, no she was actually in tears because she got a date card. As my wife quickly pointed out, she got the card because Ben was on the fence with her. You hear that ladies, you can bring your grandmother on the first date to get you in the door, but after that you're on your own. My wife had the more noble way of looking at it, I on the other hand saw through her little scheme... She was upset because if she didn't get the rose on that one on one date than that would mean that she'd never get to see all the wonderful places around the world that are "the best place in the world to fall in love." That's right Brittney, Ben saw through your little scheme and was going to be sending you packing. You had two choices, jump ship yourself or whore it up on the one one one date. And let's be fair she wasn't about to go whoring it up like the other "ladies" just for a couple exotic vacations, she brought her grandmother on the show for goodness sake! So she headed down to the group date and told Ben that she was leaving.
Ben was devastated! He could hardly contain his emotions at the thought of losing Brittney... Oh wait, that's not right, he didn't give a shit. It really was, "Oh you're leaving? Ok bye." ABC did their best to make it look like Ben cared, by having him sit on the side and contemplate the thought that this was getting serious and that emotions were running high for everyone and that people were going to get hurt, but did you actually believe it was genuine?
Lindzi was the lucky "lady" to pick up the rebound and go on the tour of San Francisco date. It was fine, no real drama there, I did learn why California is broke, they obviously are spending WAY too much money on building City Halls. And Lindzi told Ben about her one love and their break up story after a year and a half of dating. (Yep one love that lasted a year and a half and she's 28? baggage...) The quote from The Simpson's (yes the quote is originally from the Simpsons in the episode where Ralph is smitten by Lisa and she needs to break the bad news to him. Homer suggests the following line.) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population you." While it would suck in reality, I think it's pretty funny myself.
At this point I would like to introduce you to next seasons Bachelorette, Shawntel. WHAT?!?! OMG! Why is she there? OMG!!! A couple things, first, if she really wanted to be on the show with Ben (which she may have) then why didn't ABC have her there on the opening night? To create easy drama later on why else. Second, was there ANY possible way that adding her to the show at this point was not going to create an issue? So that leads me to believe that ABC wanted to use this opportunity to bring her "on stage" and remind everyone who she is so that next season she can have her own coven of men to pick from. Ok the funeral director thing is a little strange, but I think the strangeness that took place during Brad's season where she had him get on the table was staged for effect. Is it so hard to believe that the producers made her do that with Brad, which in turn creeped him out and caused him to dump her? Is this the producers admitting they might have screwed that up for her (for the best actually) and giving her a second chance? In Brad's season I liked her, if I remember correctly it wasn't just me. Also, she wasn't on Bachelor Pad was she? I think that would be an automatic disqualifier.
Flash forward to now and ABC bringing her on the show so that she will get dumped again on tv? Why? To make her feel like an even bigger tool? I don't buy that, it's a total set up. And did you notice during the commercials that they were looking for men to date the next bachelorette, last week was a general calling for people to be on the Bachelor, this week was more specific.
The one great effect that Shawtel did have on the show though was how she just exposed all the "ladies" for whom they really were. I can't be exactly sure who were throwing the daggers but if I remember correctly the ladies that Jen and I think are the front runners weren't getting their hands dirty. Instead you had the insecure bitches going nuts about her appearance. It was the ultimate reveal of each of their characters, one of the worst being the evil queen Courtney, and her, "See ya." as Ben was walking Shawntel out the door. I read online that some of the nastiness was edited out where Erika and Jacklyn made some even worst comments then what we saw, surprise nasty attitude doesn't get you a rose.
Now to end this weeks blog with two more things of note. The first thing was the comment that one of the "ladies" made when Shawntel showed up, "You lost." Really? I didn't realize that love was a game. Shame on me. What show have I been watching for the last couple of years? That is the major problem that I have with the Bachelor in general, it's not about finding love it's about finding fame and winning and losing. At one point maybe the show had some honest intentions, but I think those days are long past. How long can they keep the premise going that everyone is on a "journey" to "find love", be real it's about winning and losing and for some of them (Courtney) finding fame. Oh sure maybe a relationship can come out of the show, I mean there has been some success, but trying to weed through all of the obvious trash chicks makes the show a charade. Then again it takes all types, so who knows. Either way it's all WAY to formulamatic, and we continue to trudge on.
And finally, to me Ben doesn't care about the ladies at all. With Emily on the bridge it was all about "keep going". With Brittney it was "Bye". And with Erika passing out at the Rose ceremony, he didn't even react, he just stood there watching her fall. (Note to the producers: Don't put the rose ceremony on a balcony overlooking a 10+ story drop in the future) We got to see the ladies true colors this episode, and I think that we got to get a look at his too. Ben is on the show because ABC needed a candidate and he fit the bill. I could be wrong, but robot man just seems to be there doing what he is told.
Right now my favorites in the Ben Cup are:
Lindzi at 3-1
Emily at 5-1
Kasey at 6-1
Jennifer at 15-1
Nikki at 15-1
Courtney at 30-1
Blakely at 20-1
Field at 25-1
Sorry if I wasn't as funny this week, I'll try to take some notes next week, trying to remember and then write for a two hour show is tough.
Oh and watch Revenge, that show is great!
Honestly couldn't the producers of the show give us something a little more creative than this canned dialogue that we see every season. For that matter the whole thing is canned and is an exact repeat of previous seasons, just with different people in the mix trying to "win". That being said let's jump ahead to the first date of the night, a date card for Emily that says, "Love lifts us up." (Don't make me break out the "On the wings of love" theme song that we had to deal with a couple seasons ago.) I just realized that I have now watched several seasons of the Bachelor... I must go hang my head in shame...
Emily upon hearing the clue about her date is both excited and terrified, knowing that it sounds like she is going to go someplace very very high up. A little bit of advice if anyone reading is looking at going on the show at some point in the future, when the questionnaire asks you if you have a fear of heights, even if you do, put no. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for a day of bungee jumping, tightrope walking, suspension bridge crossing, skydiving, strapping on a jet pack, or in this case, climbing a bridge. A bridge that if I remember correctly partially collapsed back in 1988 during the big earthquake that hit during the world series.
Initially I was going to give Ben a pass at the "let's test the girls" bit, because it has become obvious that the star of the show in every season isn't picking the date. Every season it's the same thing, let's do something really scary just to see how the ladies respond to it. That isn't Ben's fault, it's the producers, but then after the way he handled the situation with Emily, Ben is a tool.
Emily scared that she might not be able to make it all the way up starts to freak out and there is Ben (with ear piece getting orders from the director to make her continue [not sure if there was an ear piece, but you get my point]) so Ben keeps pressing her to make it up the bridge and in order to restore her confidence he gives her a kiss right there on the bridge and instantly she's Spiderwomen ready to make the full assent. To me (and this might just be me here) Ben should have just told her that it was ok, they didn't have to do it, and allowed her to turn around and walk back down. That might just be me, but if she doesn't want to climb a bridge, don't make her climb a bridge. But here is the thing, even if Ben was thinking that, my guess is that he was just doing what the producers told him to do, because there was going to be a great photo-op once they got to the top. It just struck me that he didn't really care about her feelings, it was more about making it look good on film, and I have two more incidents where Ben helps solidify that, maybe three.
Next up a fleet of Honda CRVs (looked like a great car wink wink) show up to take the "ladies" skiing down the streets of San Francisco. I'll be honest, that's actually pretty cool, as much as I love to rip on the show, that was actually pretty cool. But then leave it to the bachelor producers to make something that is cool and fun and turn it into something trashy. Seriously it's almost like Donald Trump took over Disney. (If anyone doesn't understand why I keep bringing up Disney, Disney owns ABC). So we get to see the ladies in their skimpiest bikini's trying to ski down the man made snow, anyone else reminded of the show "Wipe-Out"? I'm not sure how many of them could ski and it didn't really look like Ben cared one way or another, all he saw were half naked girls skiing down the hill and wiping out on the asphalt. FYI ladies, skiing is pretty hot even without bikini's and it's a great work out.
Meanwhile at the hotel of tears, Brittney is given the key to the city, and couldn't be any more happy to be getting to have a one on one date with Ben. Oh wait, no she was actually in tears because she got a date card. As my wife quickly pointed out, she got the card because Ben was on the fence with her. You hear that ladies, you can bring your grandmother on the first date to get you in the door, but after that you're on your own. My wife had the more noble way of looking at it, I on the other hand saw through her little scheme... She was upset because if she didn't get the rose on that one on one date than that would mean that she'd never get to see all the wonderful places around the world that are "the best place in the world to fall in love." That's right Brittney, Ben saw through your little scheme and was going to be sending you packing. You had two choices, jump ship yourself or whore it up on the one one one date. And let's be fair she wasn't about to go whoring it up like the other "ladies" just for a couple exotic vacations, she brought her grandmother on the show for goodness sake! So she headed down to the group date and told Ben that she was leaving.
Ben was devastated! He could hardly contain his emotions at the thought of losing Brittney... Oh wait, that's not right, he didn't give a shit. It really was, "Oh you're leaving? Ok bye." ABC did their best to make it look like Ben cared, by having him sit on the side and contemplate the thought that this was getting serious and that emotions were running high for everyone and that people were going to get hurt, but did you actually believe it was genuine?
Lindzi was the lucky "lady" to pick up the rebound and go on the tour of San Francisco date. It was fine, no real drama there, I did learn why California is broke, they obviously are spending WAY too much money on building City Halls. And Lindzi told Ben about her one love and their break up story after a year and a half of dating. (Yep one love that lasted a year and a half and she's 28? baggage...) The quote from The Simpson's (yes the quote is originally from the Simpsons in the episode where Ralph is smitten by Lisa and she needs to break the bad news to him. Homer suggests the following line.) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population you." While it would suck in reality, I think it's pretty funny myself.
At this point I would like to introduce you to next seasons Bachelorette, Shawntel. WHAT?!?! OMG! Why is she there? OMG!!! A couple things, first, if she really wanted to be on the show with Ben (which she may have) then why didn't ABC have her there on the opening night? To create easy drama later on why else. Second, was there ANY possible way that adding her to the show at this point was not going to create an issue? So that leads me to believe that ABC wanted to use this opportunity to bring her "on stage" and remind everyone who she is so that next season she can have her own coven of men to pick from. Ok the funeral director thing is a little strange, but I think the strangeness that took place during Brad's season where she had him get on the table was staged for effect. Is it so hard to believe that the producers made her do that with Brad, which in turn creeped him out and caused him to dump her? Is this the producers admitting they might have screwed that up for her (for the best actually) and giving her a second chance? In Brad's season I liked her, if I remember correctly it wasn't just me. Also, she wasn't on Bachelor Pad was she? I think that would be an automatic disqualifier.
Flash forward to now and ABC bringing her on the show so that she will get dumped again on tv? Why? To make her feel like an even bigger tool? I don't buy that, it's a total set up. And did you notice during the commercials that they were looking for men to date the next bachelorette, last week was a general calling for people to be on the Bachelor, this week was more specific.
The one great effect that Shawtel did have on the show though was how she just exposed all the "ladies" for whom they really were. I can't be exactly sure who were throwing the daggers but if I remember correctly the ladies that Jen and I think are the front runners weren't getting their hands dirty. Instead you had the insecure bitches going nuts about her appearance. It was the ultimate reveal of each of their characters, one of the worst being the evil queen Courtney, and her, "See ya." as Ben was walking Shawntel out the door. I read online that some of the nastiness was edited out where Erika and Jacklyn made some even worst comments then what we saw, surprise nasty attitude doesn't get you a rose.
Now to end this weeks blog with two more things of note. The first thing was the comment that one of the "ladies" made when Shawntel showed up, "You lost." Really? I didn't realize that love was a game. Shame on me. What show have I been watching for the last couple of years? That is the major problem that I have with the Bachelor in general, it's not about finding love it's about finding fame and winning and losing. At one point maybe the show had some honest intentions, but I think those days are long past. How long can they keep the premise going that everyone is on a "journey" to "find love", be real it's about winning and losing and for some of them (Courtney) finding fame. Oh sure maybe a relationship can come out of the show, I mean there has been some success, but trying to weed through all of the obvious trash chicks makes the show a charade. Then again it takes all types, so who knows. Either way it's all WAY to formulamatic, and we continue to trudge on.
And finally, to me Ben doesn't care about the ladies at all. With Emily on the bridge it was all about "keep going". With Brittney it was "Bye". And with Erika passing out at the Rose ceremony, he didn't even react, he just stood there watching her fall. (Note to the producers: Don't put the rose ceremony on a balcony overlooking a 10+ story drop in the future) We got to see the ladies true colors this episode, and I think that we got to get a look at his too. Ben is on the show because ABC needed a candidate and he fit the bill. I could be wrong, but robot man just seems to be there doing what he is told.
Right now my favorites in the Ben Cup are:
Lindzi at 3-1
Emily at 5-1
Kasey at 6-1
Jennifer at 15-1
Nikki at 15-1
Courtney at 30-1
Blakely at 20-1
Field at 25-1
Sorry if I wasn't as funny this week, I'll try to take some notes next week, trying to remember and then write for a two hour show is tough.
Oh and watch Revenge, that show is great!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Revenge - "I haven't been this disappointed since Phantom Menace"
For me that was the line of the night, probably since Ayden has been watching so much Star Wars of late, and it's doublely funny when you consider that the 3D version of Phantom Menace is going to be released in theaters next month. It's good to have Nolan and Emily friends again, it just makes the show fun.
So speaking of fun, a little spoiler warning, but then again if you are reading this then you probably already saw the big reveal. I was 50% right, I just knew that Emily had a sibling, I just guessed the wrong one, but in hindsight Daniel would have been just a little too creepy. Charlotte Grayson/Clarke your character just got a lot more interesting and we get to see why the hell we should actually give a crap about you. It doesn't change the fact that she's a boring character, so far, but there is hope. What are the odds that she finds out the truth before season end? Vegas odds (mine that is) have it at even money.
The great thing about Charlotte though is now we understand the July 4th reveal that Victoria regretted having her. At least it's not like Victoria was sleeping with the housekeeper (Hi Arnold). Here is something else that you might not have noticed, last week was a repeat, do you know which repeat? It was the July 4th episode. Next time there is a repeat, we might have to do a little more investigation as to why they are replaying a given episode. Anyway for now there are about a million directions that the Charlotte storyline could go so I'll let that rest until next week. For all we know next week she could end up in the corner of a luggage room crying her eyes out.
Getting back to the old formula of Emily setting up a target and knocking them down, which I liked seeing again, this week our victim was the writer that damned her father in a book so convincing that even Emily believed it. Which begs one question... If Emily was convinced that her Dad really was evil, than how did she come around to the idea of getting revenge on the people that did him in? I might be missing something.
Oh and while I'm thinking about it, I get the feeling that David Clarke is still alive and will show up next season. Just a hunch, based on my love child theory, maybe it will be Emily's mom.
Back to our stylish dressing (kidding) writer friend Mason. Turns out that Mason had been hired by David to find the truth that David was innocent, but through his investigation Mason ran into the Graysons and their manipulative power. I really liked his come initial comeback when they threatened to sue him, he had nothing to lose. Let's think about this for a minute, every character on the show is centered around something that they don't want to lose, wealth, power, love, a bar, an identity, living in a closet, and in all cases the threat of losing that is a very big motivator. But with Mason that wasn't an issue, he had nothing, so the traditional power of taking something away that someone held dear no longer applied. Instead the Graysons had to give him wealth and fame, so that they could control him with the threat of losing it all.
Taking a nerd tangent for a minute... After watching a lot of Star Wars 3 over the past couple of weeks, Anakin's turn to the dark side comes from his fear of losing what he holds dear, Padamay (however you spell it). Even Yoda says, "You must free yourself from all the things that you fear to lose." In the end Anakin's fear controls him and he go about slaughtering children in order to keep what he has. In the end though he is the reason why she dies and he's left to live with that guilt, thus becoming the Darth Vader that we all know and love.
Getting back on track here, Victoria and Conrad are heading for a battle where all that they hold dear is at risk and their children are getting in the middle of the battle. Any thought that their little power war might end up costing them both their children? Could Emily crush Daniel and then turn around and pick up Charlotte as her sister that has been betrayed and lied to her entire life?
And what the heck is going on with Ashley? I don't like her as a bad guy. Going downstairs on Victoria's behalf to tell Emily that the only reason that Daniel might be marrying her is so that he can get his trust back. Really Ashley, go back to planning your parties.
Daniel is becoming quite the important guy isn't he? First Emily sets him up so that he gets the in route to his father's company and now he has the power to over throw the Emperor with his stock, you could say he's a "force" to be reckoned with... Wait a minute where have I seen this story before... Young son of powerful man has the power but lacks the ability to over throw his evil father, go watch Star Wars 5, The Empire Strikes back. "Luke, I am your father." "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Holy crap it gets even better!!!
Remember in SW5 that Luke doesn't complete his training with master Yoda so that he can fly to the cloud city to save his friends? Yoda tried to get him to stay and finish his training, but Luke said that he would come back. Daniel told Emily last night that he was going to put business school on hold so that he could go work for his father thereby putting him in a position to help his mother. Do we see some parallels!!! Of course we all know what happens in that scenario, Han gets frozen in crabonite and Luke gets his had cut off finding out that he is no match for Darth Vader. Supposedly it's Daniel that gets shot at the engagement party, up until now I was doubting that it was really him, but thinking about it, it has to be. I mean if the story continues to follow the Empire Strikes Back plot Daniel has to get shot, but his Dad's bidding of all things. But Conrad would never try to kill Daniel. Really, he is to blame for 200 people dying in a plane crash just so that he could protect his empire, is it really that much of a stretch (on this show of all places) to say that he wouldn't try to have him killed in an effort to keep the company and his billions?
In the end Daniel will be fine and he will overthrow his Dad, I think that's part of Emily's plan, but will Daniel then do the heel turn? "I am more powerful then him, I can overthrow him." - Anakin Skywalker Or will we get the, "I sense there is still good in you." - Luke Skywalker
Ok maybe I'm taking the Star Wars thing a little too far, but hey Nolan did bring it up. For the record Nolan is great!
I just got off on a major tangent so back Mason. Victoria tells Mason that she wants him to find out why Amanda is back in town, eventually leading to an interview between the two (I'm skipping the whole Coyote Ugly scene). The scene on the porch was Amanda at her best, and honestly for a character that we all despise, that was some pretty good stuff that she was throwing out there. With Emily feeding the words Amanda got right into Mason's face and threatened everything that he held dear. Of course at the reading, faced between Victoria's threats and the threats of a girl mixing drinks who would you take serious? Maybe Mason should have looked back at his past life though because he forgot one big detail, people with nothing to lose can be very dangerous.
Mason of course ignores Amanda's threat which then sets Emily's plan B into motion, which I think she was expecting anyway. Plan B uses Nolan to take Mason away so that they can discuss his biography, while Emily dons her black hoodie and does a little breaking and entering, and a little Arson just for good measure. And then just to make sure that she would be safe from being discovered that lighter that Amanda was playing with during the interview and lighting drinks on fire at the bar, was conveniently left on the desk at the scene of the crime. Setting up Amanda to take the fall.
But wait, if Amanda were to take the fall, wouldn't she reveal that she isn't really Amanda and that Emily is? And that's where I think the shooting of Daniel by what appears to be Jack is going to come in. Fake Amanda is going to have to die, and just after Jack falls in love with her on his trip to Atlantic City with her. Just seems like an accidental death at the hands of Daniel coming soon. I mean why all the gun play? "Someone loves their 2nd amendment rights." - Nolan The whole scene screams of foreshadowing.
And with that I leave you for the day. Until next week when we'll have to suffer through watching Ben bore women to death in San Francisco.
May the Force be with you, always...
So speaking of fun, a little spoiler warning, but then again if you are reading this then you probably already saw the big reveal. I was 50% right, I just knew that Emily had a sibling, I just guessed the wrong one, but in hindsight Daniel would have been just a little too creepy. Charlotte Grayson/Clarke your character just got a lot more interesting and we get to see why the hell we should actually give a crap about you. It doesn't change the fact that she's a boring character, so far, but there is hope. What are the odds that she finds out the truth before season end? Vegas odds (mine that is) have it at even money.
The great thing about Charlotte though is now we understand the July 4th reveal that Victoria regretted having her. At least it's not like Victoria was sleeping with the housekeeper (Hi Arnold). Here is something else that you might not have noticed, last week was a repeat, do you know which repeat? It was the July 4th episode. Next time there is a repeat, we might have to do a little more investigation as to why they are replaying a given episode. Anyway for now there are about a million directions that the Charlotte storyline could go so I'll let that rest until next week. For all we know next week she could end up in the corner of a luggage room crying her eyes out.
Getting back to the old formula of Emily setting up a target and knocking them down, which I liked seeing again, this week our victim was the writer that damned her father in a book so convincing that even Emily believed it. Which begs one question... If Emily was convinced that her Dad really was evil, than how did she come around to the idea of getting revenge on the people that did him in? I might be missing something.
Oh and while I'm thinking about it, I get the feeling that David Clarke is still alive and will show up next season. Just a hunch, based on my love child theory, maybe it will be Emily's mom.
Back to our stylish dressing (kidding) writer friend Mason. Turns out that Mason had been hired by David to find the truth that David was innocent, but through his investigation Mason ran into the Graysons and their manipulative power. I really liked his come initial comeback when they threatened to sue him, he had nothing to lose. Let's think about this for a minute, every character on the show is centered around something that they don't want to lose, wealth, power, love, a bar, an identity, living in a closet, and in all cases the threat of losing that is a very big motivator. But with Mason that wasn't an issue, he had nothing, so the traditional power of taking something away that someone held dear no longer applied. Instead the Graysons had to give him wealth and fame, so that they could control him with the threat of losing it all.
Taking a nerd tangent for a minute... After watching a lot of Star Wars 3 over the past couple of weeks, Anakin's turn to the dark side comes from his fear of losing what he holds dear, Padamay (however you spell it). Even Yoda says, "You must free yourself from all the things that you fear to lose." In the end Anakin's fear controls him and he go about slaughtering children in order to keep what he has. In the end though he is the reason why she dies and he's left to live with that guilt, thus becoming the Darth Vader that we all know and love.
Getting back on track here, Victoria and Conrad are heading for a battle where all that they hold dear is at risk and their children are getting in the middle of the battle. Any thought that their little power war might end up costing them both their children? Could Emily crush Daniel and then turn around and pick up Charlotte as her sister that has been betrayed and lied to her entire life?
And what the heck is going on with Ashley? I don't like her as a bad guy. Going downstairs on Victoria's behalf to tell Emily that the only reason that Daniel might be marrying her is so that he can get his trust back. Really Ashley, go back to planning your parties.
Daniel is becoming quite the important guy isn't he? First Emily sets him up so that he gets the in route to his father's company and now he has the power to over throw the Emperor with his stock, you could say he's a "force" to be reckoned with... Wait a minute where have I seen this story before... Young son of powerful man has the power but lacks the ability to over throw his evil father, go watch Star Wars 5, The Empire Strikes back. "Luke, I am your father." "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Holy crap it gets even better!!!
Remember in SW5 that Luke doesn't complete his training with master Yoda so that he can fly to the cloud city to save his friends? Yoda tried to get him to stay and finish his training, but Luke said that he would come back. Daniel told Emily last night that he was going to put business school on hold so that he could go work for his father thereby putting him in a position to help his mother. Do we see some parallels!!! Of course we all know what happens in that scenario, Han gets frozen in crabonite and Luke gets his had cut off finding out that he is no match for Darth Vader. Supposedly it's Daniel that gets shot at the engagement party, up until now I was doubting that it was really him, but thinking about it, it has to be. I mean if the story continues to follow the Empire Strikes Back plot Daniel has to get shot, but his Dad's bidding of all things. But Conrad would never try to kill Daniel. Really, he is to blame for 200 people dying in a plane crash just so that he could protect his empire, is it really that much of a stretch (on this show of all places) to say that he wouldn't try to have him killed in an effort to keep the company and his billions?
In the end Daniel will be fine and he will overthrow his Dad, I think that's part of Emily's plan, but will Daniel then do the heel turn? "I am more powerful then him, I can overthrow him." - Anakin Skywalker Or will we get the, "I sense there is still good in you." - Luke Skywalker
Ok maybe I'm taking the Star Wars thing a little too far, but hey Nolan did bring it up. For the record Nolan is great!
I just got off on a major tangent so back Mason. Victoria tells Mason that she wants him to find out why Amanda is back in town, eventually leading to an interview between the two (I'm skipping the whole Coyote Ugly scene). The scene on the porch was Amanda at her best, and honestly for a character that we all despise, that was some pretty good stuff that she was throwing out there. With Emily feeding the words Amanda got right into Mason's face and threatened everything that he held dear. Of course at the reading, faced between Victoria's threats and the threats of a girl mixing drinks who would you take serious? Maybe Mason should have looked back at his past life though because he forgot one big detail, people with nothing to lose can be very dangerous.
Mason of course ignores Amanda's threat which then sets Emily's plan B into motion, which I think she was expecting anyway. Plan B uses Nolan to take Mason away so that they can discuss his biography, while Emily dons her black hoodie and does a little breaking and entering, and a little Arson just for good measure. And then just to make sure that she would be safe from being discovered that lighter that Amanda was playing with during the interview and lighting drinks on fire at the bar, was conveniently left on the desk at the scene of the crime. Setting up Amanda to take the fall.
But wait, if Amanda were to take the fall, wouldn't she reveal that she isn't really Amanda and that Emily is? And that's where I think the shooting of Daniel by what appears to be Jack is going to come in. Fake Amanda is going to have to die, and just after Jack falls in love with her on his trip to Atlantic City with her. Just seems like an accidental death at the hands of Daniel coming soon. I mean why all the gun play? "Someone loves their 2nd amendment rights." - Nolan The whole scene screams of foreshadowing.
And with that I leave you for the day. Until next week when we'll have to suffer through watching Ben bore women to death in San Francisco.
May the Force be with you, always...
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Bachelor - Beer country looks more exciting.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Oh sorry, I dozed off for a minute, I was watching the Bachelor and I was drifting off so I switched over to check the score in the BCS Championship game and instantly dozed off. To spin the phrase, that was some "Must sleep TV", my God Disney how far have you fallen? Not really that far Revenge is on on Wednesday and if you are reading this and not watching that, uh what are you waiting for? Revenge is great!
But back to the topic at hand, last night's thrilling episode of the Bachelor. Through either a twist of sensibility of bringing the women to Ben's hometown as a way to establish some basic connections between Ben and the ladies, or ABC just going cheap last night, I'll never know, but I could see it being a case of either. On the one hand, simpler dates at this point in the "process" make a lot more sense than the 2 person caravel a couple seasons ago, but walking the streets of Sonoma on a date was just dull. I mean literally they were walking down the middle of the street twirling the amazingly conveniently found baton, which just happened to be a key to Kacie's past, SHOCKER!!! Did anyone else look at that town and think that Doc Brown and Marty McFly were going to show up with the time machine at any moment? Didn't it look like the town square in Back to the Future?
The date between the two of them was sweet and all, but it just didn't have that umph factor that ABC needed. So to turn up the emotions a little bit, let's rent out a movie theater and show a movie of each of their childhoods. For Kacie, ok cute, hehe. For Ben, seemed like a cheap way to generate some tears, let's show some pictures of his childhood and his dad so that he'll get teary eyed and cry for the camera, just to endure him to the audience a little bit. Do you feel cheap now? Not yet, oh you'll feel as cheap as Blakely by the time I'm done with you...
Speaking of Blakely, let's get to the play that the "children" wrote for the evening. I don't know what they are teaching in that hippie town but that was a whole lot of kissing and getting naked for a children's play, and during the audition, "Show me your sexy dance". You know I'd expect to see plugged questions during the presidential debates from students, I'd expect to see plugged questions from students being interviewed on how great the BCS system is, but to plug questions from children, no sir that's where I draw the line. Shame on you Disney, shame on you. =) I kid, I don't give a crap about those kids, they're probably rich living there in wine country, screw them. =)
Sorry mild case of the rants got to me, I was talking about the auditions for the children's production of "Showgirls". I have to say the best part of the auditions had to be watching all of the "ladies" eyes light up when they heard that they would be doing auditions for a play. "Oh boy this is my chance to get noticed for Hollywood." And then the disappointment when they found out that they were getting to dress up like animals and such. You know if this really was Ben's idea (which I highly doubt) then I'd think it was still a pretty decent idea, I mean if nothing else you get to see the girls in a strange situation and see who is just going to have fun going with it, and who is going to bitch about it on their blog (more about her a little later).
The audience for the play looked like a room full of people forced to watch LSU and Alabama play another football game, in other words bored out of their minds. But we got to see Ben get naked and all of the girls comment on how hot he is. Really? Is he? Honestly I don't know, and it doesn't even matter, all the girls are going to say it anyway, it's the first time in the season that we see "the bachelor" without his shirt on so we're going to get the canned responses to seeing it. And that is part of the problem with where the show is, everything at this point is scripted, or set up to have the same drama, more on that in a minute as well.
Let's jump ahead to the playhouse after party where Ben got to have his very own pool side harem. (Any question as to why someone would be the bachelor, that scene is your answer) Ben heads off to some private pool with Jennifer and she gets down to making him remember her at the rose ceremony with some hard core making out. How cheap do you think she felt after watching Ben make out with Blakely 5 minutes later and then watching her get the rose? Isn't that the greatest thing about this show, the girls throw themselves at Ben in an attempt to make a lasting impression on him, but then look cheap as can be when he then falls for the next girl doing it. So in answer to the earlier question as to why any self respecting bachelorette would go on the show, you got me, outside of fame, because most likely you're going to end up going home looking...
So Blakely gets the rose, then all the girls hate her, yada yada yada. Jen asked me, "Why do they always fall for the trashy ones early on?" Great question, I have no idea, but there is a trend there isn't there? You know if this were actually reality TV and you were watching a sociology experiment this would be pretty awesome! Instead we have Blakely saying that all of the other girls are jealous because she got the rose, not the real fact that she's a bitch, have we seen this before too?
All this in the first hour of the show, which for me would be enough, but oh no, we get two hours!!! Oh joy!
Trying to remember everything is so tough, because every moment that I'm watching I know is battling my brain's stamina. So how about that next date, Ben and model chick (I don't remember her name, and I'm not looking it up, I mean does it really matter, she's a shallow model from Santa Monica that thinks she is God's gift to the world. And for the record, God's gift to the world is Tim Tebow, how else do you explain him throwing for 316 yards in that game?! Seriously I think God was sitting around the table with his angels 20+ years ago and they were talking about attendance in churches falling because people were spending their Sunday's watching football. Then one of them came up with the great idea to put a preacher in the football games themselves and spread the word that way. And you know what it worked, now we're talking about Tebow and his faith and isn't that spreading "the word"? God works in mysterious ways, if they beat the Pats this weekend... REPENT!!!!!
God Damn tangents!!! Anyway as I was saying he went on the date with Miss I'm a Model and boring as hell, they talked, they played with his dog, they ate dinner under a tree, whatever... She got a rose, whoopie! By this point my mind had checked out on paying attention to her saying that she was seeing a connection forming between her and Ben, seen it before...
To the Rose ceremony/hate Blakely party.
our sophisticated Blakely (VIP cocktail hostess) was doing her best to serve up Ben a drink as often as she could. Butting into conversations, making sure that everything was about her, and then wondering why no one liked her. So later we see her crying in the corner, being ran out by all of the other girls in the house, oh poor her... Did anyone else notice that after sitting in a corner crying, that her makeup was still perfect? Damn you ABC, stop making shit up!!!
And finally, let's get to crazy blogger Jenna. Her winning argument to Ben was, "I'm more like a guy." Really? That's what you've got? All the other girls in the house are throwing themselves at him like rice at a wedding and you're like a guy... Actually you're more like a secluded crazy girl that has a house full of cats and sits and writes on the internet because you just don't quite fit in with what everyone else is doing. Why on Earth did she go on the bachelor? There is nothing wrong with writing a blog (at least I hope not /wink wink) but my guess is that when that is your title, you spend a little too much time doing it, and not enough time going out and experiencing the things that you're blogging about.
Speaking of too much time blogging, holy crap (Tebow forgive me) that is a lot of stuff to cover. Next week we get to see what looks like ABC's latest idea to shake things up, bringing back one of Ben's ex-girlfriends, keep it classy Disney. And some skiing down the streets of San Francisco, have to admit that looks kind of cool.
Right now my front runner has to be Lindzi (the horsey girl) after that, I don't really know their names yet, but if I were putting money down, that's where I go.
Until next week! Watch Revenge, it's awesome!
But back to the topic at hand, last night's thrilling episode of the Bachelor. Through either a twist of sensibility of bringing the women to Ben's hometown as a way to establish some basic connections between Ben and the ladies, or ABC just going cheap last night, I'll never know, but I could see it being a case of either. On the one hand, simpler dates at this point in the "process" make a lot more sense than the 2 person caravel a couple seasons ago, but walking the streets of Sonoma on a date was just dull. I mean literally they were walking down the middle of the street twirling the amazingly conveniently found baton, which just happened to be a key to Kacie's past, SHOCKER!!! Did anyone else look at that town and think that Doc Brown and Marty McFly were going to show up with the time machine at any moment? Didn't it look like the town square in Back to the Future?
The date between the two of them was sweet and all, but it just didn't have that umph factor that ABC needed. So to turn up the emotions a little bit, let's rent out a movie theater and show a movie of each of their childhoods. For Kacie, ok cute, hehe. For Ben, seemed like a cheap way to generate some tears, let's show some pictures of his childhood and his dad so that he'll get teary eyed and cry for the camera, just to endure him to the audience a little bit. Do you feel cheap now? Not yet, oh you'll feel as cheap as Blakely by the time I'm done with you...
Speaking of Blakely, let's get to the play that the "children" wrote for the evening. I don't know what they are teaching in that hippie town but that was a whole lot of kissing and getting naked for a children's play, and during the audition, "Show me your sexy dance". You know I'd expect to see plugged questions during the presidential debates from students, I'd expect to see plugged questions from students being interviewed on how great the BCS system is, but to plug questions from children, no sir that's where I draw the line. Shame on you Disney, shame on you. =) I kid, I don't give a crap about those kids, they're probably rich living there in wine country, screw them. =)
Sorry mild case of the rants got to me, I was talking about the auditions for the children's production of "Showgirls". I have to say the best part of the auditions had to be watching all of the "ladies" eyes light up when they heard that they would be doing auditions for a play. "Oh boy this is my chance to get noticed for Hollywood." And then the disappointment when they found out that they were getting to dress up like animals and such. You know if this really was Ben's idea (which I highly doubt) then I'd think it was still a pretty decent idea, I mean if nothing else you get to see the girls in a strange situation and see who is just going to have fun going with it, and who is going to bitch about it on their blog (more about her a little later).
The audience for the play looked like a room full of people forced to watch LSU and Alabama play another football game, in other words bored out of their minds. But we got to see Ben get naked and all of the girls comment on how hot he is. Really? Is he? Honestly I don't know, and it doesn't even matter, all the girls are going to say it anyway, it's the first time in the season that we see "the bachelor" without his shirt on so we're going to get the canned responses to seeing it. And that is part of the problem with where the show is, everything at this point is scripted, or set up to have the same drama, more on that in a minute as well.
Let's jump ahead to the playhouse after party where Ben got to have his very own pool side harem. (Any question as to why someone would be the bachelor, that scene is your answer) Ben heads off to some private pool with Jennifer and she gets down to making him remember her at the rose ceremony with some hard core making out. How cheap do you think she felt after watching Ben make out with Blakely 5 minutes later and then watching her get the rose? Isn't that the greatest thing about this show, the girls throw themselves at Ben in an attempt to make a lasting impression on him, but then look cheap as can be when he then falls for the next girl doing it. So in answer to the earlier question as to why any self respecting bachelorette would go on the show, you got me, outside of fame, because most likely you're going to end up going home looking...
So Blakely gets the rose, then all the girls hate her, yada yada yada. Jen asked me, "Why do they always fall for the trashy ones early on?" Great question, I have no idea, but there is a trend there isn't there? You know if this were actually reality TV and you were watching a sociology experiment this would be pretty awesome! Instead we have Blakely saying that all of the other girls are jealous because she got the rose, not the real fact that she's a bitch, have we seen this before too?
All this in the first hour of the show, which for me would be enough, but oh no, we get two hours!!! Oh joy!
Trying to remember everything is so tough, because every moment that I'm watching I know is battling my brain's stamina. So how about that next date, Ben and model chick (I don't remember her name, and I'm not looking it up, I mean does it really matter, she's a shallow model from Santa Monica that thinks she is God's gift to the world. And for the record, God's gift to the world is Tim Tebow, how else do you explain him throwing for 316 yards in that game?! Seriously I think God was sitting around the table with his angels 20+ years ago and they were talking about attendance in churches falling because people were spending their Sunday's watching football. Then one of them came up with the great idea to put a preacher in the football games themselves and spread the word that way. And you know what it worked, now we're talking about Tebow and his faith and isn't that spreading "the word"? God works in mysterious ways, if they beat the Pats this weekend... REPENT!!!!!
God Damn tangents!!! Anyway as I was saying he went on the date with Miss I'm a Model and boring as hell, they talked, they played with his dog, they ate dinner under a tree, whatever... She got a rose, whoopie! By this point my mind had checked out on paying attention to her saying that she was seeing a connection forming between her and Ben, seen it before...
To the Rose ceremony/hate Blakely party.
our sophisticated Blakely (VIP cocktail hostess) was doing her best to serve up Ben a drink as often as she could. Butting into conversations, making sure that everything was about her, and then wondering why no one liked her. So later we see her crying in the corner, being ran out by all of the other girls in the house, oh poor her... Did anyone else notice that after sitting in a corner crying, that her makeup was still perfect? Damn you ABC, stop making shit up!!!
And finally, let's get to crazy blogger Jenna. Her winning argument to Ben was, "I'm more like a guy." Really? That's what you've got? All the other girls in the house are throwing themselves at him like rice at a wedding and you're like a guy... Actually you're more like a secluded crazy girl that has a house full of cats and sits and writes on the internet because you just don't quite fit in with what everyone else is doing. Why on Earth did she go on the bachelor? There is nothing wrong with writing a blog (at least I hope not /wink wink) but my guess is that when that is your title, you spend a little too much time doing it, and not enough time going out and experiencing the things that you're blogging about.
Speaking of too much time blogging, holy crap (Tebow forgive me) that is a lot of stuff to cover. Next week we get to see what looks like ABC's latest idea to shake things up, bringing back one of Ben's ex-girlfriends, keep it classy Disney. And some skiing down the streets of San Francisco, have to admit that looks kind of cool.
Right now my front runner has to be Lindzi (the horsey girl) after that, I don't really know their names yet, but if I were putting money down, that's where I go.
Until next week! Watch Revenge, it's awesome!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Bachelor - Part 1 - Chris Harrison, Pimping for Disney
First off, two hours of this show is just too much. I mean I get that there is enough content for two hours and that the show is one of ABC's big hits (go watch Revenge) but man how long can one watch a bunch of drunk ladies throw themselves at a guy in desperate hopes to get a rose? But I digress, that's what the show is all about, it's about trash and train wrecks. About drama and heartbreak, about excitement... Wait. Excitement? They do know that they picked Ben as the Bachelor right? I compared this guy to a robot last season with Ashley. Although Ben did score a lot of points with me when he actually got pissed off about getting dumped the way he did with her. And last season's farewell on a boat was a classic.
So let's look at Ben, the man behind the hair. Ben is our mild mannered man from Northern California, a wine maker by trade and a big ball of energy. If ever there was a person that needed to get drunk it is Ben, just to liven him up a little bit. But maybe I'm being a little too critical of our star for the season, I mean he did crack a couple dry jokes as the ladies paraded themselves before him. One of them even going so far as to wear their actual sash, which makes me think, shouldn't they all just have a sash on? Miss Sweet Tennessee, Miss Bubbly Texas, Miss I rode a horse, Miss I brought an old lady, Miss I wore a big hat, Miss the rapping disease lady, Miss I'm British and think I'm funny, Miss I'm a model, Miss I'm a crazy blogger that over analyses thi... Ok maybe I should stop.
(looks at self in mirror and hangs head in shame)
Jen made the best comment to me whilst we were watching, "They aren't picking women for him, they are casting for roles." (or something like that) It's true, the selection of ladies isn't about Ben it's about finding women to fit a given need on the show so that Disney can appeal to a broad demographic, in hopes that America will identify with one of more of them. The problem of course is that you get a house full of crazy women that are more interested in winning Ben than finding a relationship with him. Oh wait... I forgot, it's working in the ratings.
(Shakes fist at the TV)
"Damn you Disney making us watch what you tell us we should enjoy, damn you! And Damn your piece of crap BCS championship game, anyone North of the Mason-Dixon line doesn't want to watch a rematch of a crappy football game!"
Wait, where was I??? Sorry I blacked out for a minute. I think I'm still recovering from New Year's.
Anyway before I ramble myself into oblivion, let's hope that Ben is at least interesting, with how low Ashley set the bar last year it shouldn't be much for him to exceed that at least. And I'm a romantic at heart, maybe he'll find that right women who isn't looking for a career in entertainment. So before I watch the first rose ceremony, I toast to Ben and the hope that he'll find love, and that we'll find disastrous drama that is entertaining for me to make fun of.
And before I have my man card revoked for watching the Bachelor over the very good bowl games that were going on.
Oregon looked great but should be thankful that there weren't 3 seconds left on that clock, it would have been fitting for Wisconsin to have won on a Hail Mary.
And as for Oklahoma State, they can say that they played the same caliber team as either LSU or Alabama, which is a team that is unable to kick a field goal.
Come back tomorrow for part 2 and a recap of the Hokies performance in the Sugar Bowl.
So let's look at Ben, the man behind the hair. Ben is our mild mannered man from Northern California, a wine maker by trade and a big ball of energy. If ever there was a person that needed to get drunk it is Ben, just to liven him up a little bit. But maybe I'm being a little too critical of our star for the season, I mean he did crack a couple dry jokes as the ladies paraded themselves before him. One of them even going so far as to wear their actual sash, which makes me think, shouldn't they all just have a sash on? Miss Sweet Tennessee, Miss Bubbly Texas, Miss I rode a horse, Miss I brought an old lady, Miss I wore a big hat, Miss the rapping disease lady, Miss I'm British and think I'm funny, Miss I'm a model, Miss I'm a crazy blogger that over analyses thi... Ok maybe I should stop.
(looks at self in mirror and hangs head in shame)
Jen made the best comment to me whilst we were watching, "They aren't picking women for him, they are casting for roles." (or something like that) It's true, the selection of ladies isn't about Ben it's about finding women to fit a given need on the show so that Disney can appeal to a broad demographic, in hopes that America will identify with one of more of them. The problem of course is that you get a house full of crazy women that are more interested in winning Ben than finding a relationship with him. Oh wait... I forgot, it's working in the ratings.
(Shakes fist at the TV)
"Damn you Disney making us watch what you tell us we should enjoy, damn you! And Damn your piece of crap BCS championship game, anyone North of the Mason-Dixon line doesn't want to watch a rematch of a crappy football game!"
Wait, where was I??? Sorry I blacked out for a minute. I think I'm still recovering from New Year's.
Anyway before I ramble myself into oblivion, let's hope that Ben is at least interesting, with how low Ashley set the bar last year it shouldn't be much for him to exceed that at least. And I'm a romantic at heart, maybe he'll find that right women who isn't looking for a career in entertainment. So before I watch the first rose ceremony, I toast to Ben and the hope that he'll find love, and that we'll find disastrous drama that is entertaining for me to make fun of.
And before I have my man card revoked for watching the Bachelor over the very good bowl games that were going on.
Oregon looked great but should be thankful that there weren't 3 seconds left on that clock, it would have been fitting for Wisconsin to have won on a Hail Mary.
And as for Oklahoma State, they can say that they played the same caliber team as either LSU or Alabama, which is a team that is unable to kick a field goal.
Come back tomorrow for part 2 and a recap of the Hokies performance in the Sugar Bowl.
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