"Permanecer sentados Por Favor" With last night's EPIC season finale of the Bachelor last night, and by epic I mean the lowest rated season finale of the Bachelor since the show's inception. And with the majestic Materhorn in the background there was only one way to start tonight's blog, if you're from Southern California, you don't need me to tell you what that little Spanish phrase was to start the blog. But for those of you that don't know, "Remain seated please." because I am about to blow your mind! Well maybe not, but I was on a roll there and had to say i was, so Ta Dow! Not to be confused with Tebow, who will soon be riding the bench with John Elway's savior in Payton Manning arriving to Denver shortly, but I digress...
We can only imagine that Ben was searching for some help from above, or in this case more likely below on his non stop cliched walks through the Alps that filled up at least a half hour of the three hours of "love" last night. Seriously if Ben had been in a pedometer contest, he would have won twice over last night with all the aimless wondering around thinking about which women that he was going to pick. But in reality he wasn't thinking about anything, well except maybe the perfect words that he could use to feed Lindzi to the Abominable Snowman up there on the mountain, "It's not you it's me." Or whatever load of crap that he fed her. My wife called it weeks ago, she told me that he was going to pick Courtney, but here I was holding out that he would made the "right" decision. And that's what I get for caring, paying out a bunch of high odds that I had been giving out during the season, Damnit!
And that's what the season really came down to, good verses evil, date verses marry, head verses, um... yeah... Lindzi, whom I liked from the beginning, no really go look at my early blogs for the season, I called it. I'm like the thousandaire matchmaker, just thinner, and with a shorter forehead, and a man. Lindzi was sweet as Swiss chocolate and most likely a front runner for a future season of the Bachelorette where she will become "twisted and evil" by the dark forces that are stardom and 25 men worshiping the ground that you walk on. Stuff like that can change a person. But for now, Lindzi was pretty cool, all of America agreed as Chris Harrison reminded us last night, so yeah Lindzi.
On the flip side you had, bum bum bummmm Courtney. If Lindzi was the girl next door, than Courtney was the other girl next door that everyone "knew about". Through her different tactics she ended up WINNING! And we learned that in the end no matter how nice a person is, no matter how good the chemistry can seem, or no matter how pretty the girl is, easy sex is easy sex and the temptation of it can break lesser men. My problem was that I was looking at the situation through my eyes believing in the good in people, oops my bad... But doesn't it make sense, I mean don't you have to be a bit of an attention whore to go on a show like this in the first place, and Ben was about as much a whore as I've seen watching several seasons... Oh how ashamed I am, it has been several seasons now... So when a model, whores it up for you, which way is someone going to fall in the end? With the two of them dressed in all black and Ben getting down on one knee, almost expected her to tell him to go wipe out the remaining Jedi (go watch Star Wars 3, the part where Anakin turns to the dark side).
Which leads us to the after the final rose, oh yeah I watched that too, I was really curious to see how this was all going to end. Apparently with Courtney's antics on display Ben decided to one up Courtney and break things off with her. Feeling like a fool Ben? How does it feel to come out and have the studio audience boo Courtney and even Chris brought up that America didn't want him to pick her, heck I felt pity for her, even after all her crap, because I'm way too forgiving... And that's when it hit me, ABC was Mickey Mousing with us again. At what point did we decide that we hated Courtney, about week 4? At what point did ABC start promoting her as the "bad girl" making us want to hate her? Then there were the promos for the finale, the roasting that she took on the women tell all. Even Good Morning America jumped on the bandwagon this morning calling her "the most hated woman on television" just before they brought out Lindzi to talk for a couple minutes. I make the case to you that once ABC saw that they had a villain, they just tossed her to the wolves and to what effect? Pity. If they lay it on thick enough, some of us will take pity on her, making it seem like she is the victim in all of this, until we just forget about her and move on. And I'm guessing that we're at about minute 14 of those 15 minutes of fame that she was working so hard to obtain, the final minute being the issue of US Weekly where they report that they have broken up. Have fun on the Bachelor/Bachelorette dating circuit.
So am I reading too much in to how ABC just ran with her bitchiness? I'm really not sure, but it sure smells as rotten as the dead fish that they put on her line back in Utah. Oh yeah remember that? I guess if the formula is working for them (and based on the ratings, it's not) then who am I to say different? But really aren't you just as fed up with the cliche'd crap as I am? Honestly I really don't care whom they pick, but it does make it a little more fun to turn it into a horse race, I mean isn't that why you watch American Idol and stuff like that? You're playing along at home, that's the fun. So why do we have to watch all of the same garbage every season, the formula is getting old. How many times do we need to hear, "if we can get through this, we can get through anything", or "[blank] is an unbelievable place to fall in love", or "I'm really developing strong feelings for a lot of these ladies." or "I just have a hard time opening up." Isn't it just the same stuff over and over and over again? And by the way next season where Emily is the Bachelorette, is going to be just as boring. Sure she was sweet, but she was boring as heck, go reread what I said about her (was I blogging then, [hangs head in shame]). Fun would be Courtney as the Bachelorette. Oh sure she's a bitch, but watching her play with 25 guys just asking for it, would be great fun! Twist on the vine suckers! Hell didn't we watch Ben do that with the women this season?
But ABC is all about reassuring itself that the formula works, why else would they roll out Ashley and JP last night (FYI, I picked JP to win also, yeah I'm frekin awesome at this!). Weren't they just so bubbly and happy? Good for you ABC, go pat yourself on the back you did make a successful relationship, now go get Harrison ordained so that he can marry them, as if it wasn't surreal enough.
And where was Lindzi last night, I guess that she was there, but they decided not to bring her out. I mean why would you want to bring out the girl that is happy that she got dumped up during the filming of a Recola commercial, she's dodged a bullet. They all dodged a bullet, look at Emily two weeks ago on the women tell all, she couldn't have been happier that Ben let her go.
All that means that in the end Ben was sitting there on the couch, a defiant, tool. He had been played, and he knew it, but after spending all that time having his ego inflated do you really think that he was going to step back from that mountain and admit the truth? Hell no. He's Ben the Mother F----n bachelor! He owns a winery, he has that awesome hair, he's having sex with a model. Even as it's all crumbling around him, he defies the obvious truth, the player got played. And there is Courtney a broken shell of what she was. I'm buying it, I think that her lust for fame caught up with her, and then came crashing down upon her. She probably is still the same person, but being universally hated "celebrity" could affect a person, too bad we'll never know, because her 15 minutes are almost up (well she will end up on Bachelor pad so I guess she has 16 minutes of fame).
The parting shot of the night, a miserable couple, loathed by the public, in tears, and engaged, sort of. Do you think that Harrison will preside over that ceremony? I don't know them, and I don't hate them, but I do like to see people get what they deserve, and maybe learn a little a lesson in the process, did they learn anything? In watching I learned something, karma works two ways, the sweet girls from the season (albeit a little naive) seem to have done well for themselves, I thought they looked happy on the women tell all. But karma can also be a bitch, buckle up Ben and Courtney and permanecer sentados por favor because you're in for a bumpy ride.
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