The Bachelor Ep 3 - Ho Down

Welcome everyone to another exciting week of love, drama, and perfect teeth, as I take you on another odyssey that is...  The Bachelor!

Sorry about last week, I drank too much champagne and just couldn't get to the keyboard to write up last week's episode

One more take on Kelsey before I move on, and for this I call upon Barney Stinson to illustrate my thoughts.  Remember, crazy gets you to Bachelor in Paradise.

Anyway enough of the preamble, on to the episode!!!!

Tonight we start off by making sure we appeal to the "Country Demographic" by making sure that we hit up some line dancing.  Peter is from California, like the rich areas so maaaayyybe he likes himself some country music and a good old honkeytonk but I was leaning more to the producers saying, "We need to make sure we capture that Texas and Southern audience."  My wife thinks I'm being stupid and considering Peter could line dance, maybe that is his "jam".  What can I say I'm biased, I grew up in fricken Norco, CA

Swear to God, this is from the city's website

Between this and K-Frog, it's like I have PTSD.  It's not that I hate country music, it's a part of me that I can never get clean.  Sorry rambling again.

After the country festivities, Peter and Victoria head to a hanger to have a dinner surrounded by planes.  During the dinner Victoria proceeds to tell Peter about her horrible background and how she grew up without food and had to take care of her sister and how her mom was an addict, etc...  Really it's a sad story, Hallmark should make a movie about it sometime.  Here is the problem though...  Does her sob story work too well with Peter?  Meaning that she generated a lot of sympathy, but did she also generate a lot of pity.  Pity is a dangerous thing, pity is a reason to not let someone go when you don't feel it anymore.  The whole time that she is telling her story, (and let's face it, I'm a jaded asshole so boohoo, karma is going to get me for that)...  I'm thinking this fairy tale story that she is trying to make for herself, hell she even called him her Prince Charming, is just going to end in a horrible way.  She is going to make it to like the final 3 or 4 and then get dumped after he hung on to her for way too long, just because he didn't want to hurt her.  We will see...

Speaking of hurting, it's time for some foxy boxing, girls in night wear having a pillow fight.  Seriously did they rip this from "The Man Show" 15 years ago, thanks Jimmy Kimmel.  Getting back to my point, who is this for?  I don't think the women watching this care to see the "ladies" in nightwear, is this for the boyfriends and husbands that got sucked into watching with their significant others?  I can see it now.

Woman / Girlfriend / Wife, "Honey come watch the Bachelor with me."

Man / Boyfriend / Husband, "Uh no thanks."

Woman, "It has a bunch of girls in their 20's getting into lingerie"

Man, "Oh ok then, I'm in!"

That conversation isn't taking place on so many levels so, just why?

As the women duke it out, the champion is this week's drama queen, Alayah, also the champion of the pillow fight.  At dinner that night, she gives the discount Victoria P pity story, and it really sounds fake as hell.  Her voice gets all light and fluffy sounding super rehearsed.  Peter is totally taken in by it, because pageant girl telling him everything he wants to hear, shocker that it works!  But one girl was having none of it, Sydney.

Sydney decides to take her one on one time and express to Peter what she thinks about Alayah, and in a shock to me, it actually works for once.  I don't think I have ever seen it work out for the girl complaining about another girl and not get sent home right away.  Peter does even one better, he calls out Alayah in front of all the girls on the group date and essentially forces Sydney to say publicly what she told him.  Awkward.  I see you Disney...

The next day at the pool "party" Peter takes time to talk to all of the girls about Alayah and they all pretty much tell him the same thing, she's fake.  But still "his heart is speaking to him."  Or something like that.  It's not until Victoria P tells Peter that she knew Alayah from before and that she was asked to lie about going on the show.  Just wondering why that isn't an issue for Victoria, but I digress.  Ultimately the part that Peter can't get over is that she was lying about knowing another person on the show.  Who gives a crap?  It's not like you had a boyfriend at home or something, which we have seen before.  But it doesn't make a difference, at that moment Peter is too confused and in a moment that was essentially made for the commercials last week, Chris Harrison comes in and takes one of the remaining two roses, BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMM

What about those roses?  Well lets see who we have left here

Name / Initial rating / Current rating

Victoria P - 3 - 4 - Victoria is doing pretty well, her sob story really hooked Peter and now all she has to do is cry when she sees a cupcake to talk about how she never had chocolate growing up and boom she has a rose.  Problem is, Peter isn't going to be able to Pity F her in paradise without feeling guilty, so she's doomed.

Sydney - 1 - 2 - I didn't have a look of respect for her out of the gates, but she gets a point for at least surviving telling the Bachelor one of the girls in his harem shouldn't be there.  Points for that, but she doesn't have a prayer.

Victoria F - 3 - 3 - Honestly I don't even remember how she got a rose on their date, and I don't care enough to go back and watch.  Since it was forgettable to me, I guess she has hope.

Kelsey - 1 - 2 - Crazy is sticking around, and let's face it

Hannah Ann - 4.5 - 4 - I have cooled on her a little bit, I think she is really strong, but she does seem to be around a bit of drama.  Still a very strong contender to make it to the end and win Peter's heart /cough cough  Sorry threw up in my mouth a little bit there.

Natasha - 1 - 1 - Angry 31 year old.  After watching this show for years, I'm going to say it...  30 and single equals issues.  Oh what?  I said I was an A-hole up above lol  You'll see.

Lexi - 4 - 2 - I really liked her getting out of the Corvette night one, but I'm just not seeing it now.

Madison - 4 - 4 - I kind of forget her, but my wife thinks she is the winner so, BOOM!!!

Shiann - 1 - 1 - Who?

Kelley - 4.5 - 4.5 - This is my winner.  The lawyer from Chicago, whom Peter already knew.  She does have one severe disadvantage though, she got an early date.  That can come back and bite a contestant as they get forgotten later in the season.

Kierra - 2 - 2 - Have we even seem him talk to her?

Tammy - 3 - 3 - I really thought this girl was going to be drama, but it just seems like the drama is around her.  She seems more like a supporting character this season rather than an contender.  I can see her sticking around until they head off to some other country.

Savannah - 4.5 - ??? - Honestly I have no idea who this girl is now.  My notes say she kissed him getting out of the limo, uh ok..

Deandra - 1 - 3 - I am upping my ranking because I think she gets a one on one and that keeps her around for an extra couple of weeks.

Mykenna - 3 - 2 - I actually felt bad for this girl, she didn't get time to talk to Peter and the producers really made sure to put that on camera.  Doesn't she seem like a really young 22, like she lied on the application.  I mean she did come from Canada and they go by the metric system so maybe in 'Merican years that's like 17.  I hope she stays, her tears are fun to watch, and I see raging maniac in the future with her too.

Holy God, I have to pick 4 out of these ladies...

Give me Hannah Ann, Kelley, Victoria P, and Madison

Not so hard after all

Next week it's off to Cleveland, "The perfect place to fall in love."

Wait What?  Maybe Odell Beckham will slap one of them on the ass.

Congratulations to former USC assistant and interim head coach Ed Orgeron for winning the National Championship, while my Trojans languished in mediocrity for another season.  Great decision Trojans!!!

The Bachelor Season 2020 - Back for more "love"

Welcome back everyone, it's been 4 years since we last did this and what better time to start up the fun once again.  Yes it's time for another season of shameless shut shaming as we look for genuine love and romance in the reality fueled fun that is The Bachelor.

Peter

So let's meet Peter...  I didn't watch Hannah Brown's season, because frankly I couldn't stand her in the season where she was a member of the harem so I am not familiar with Pete.  While he was doing his best Leonardo DiCaprio impression from "Catch Me If You Can" in the opening sequence (seriously how cheesy was that) I mean all he needed was that little necklace, "Oh I'm sorry miss, did you drop this?"  Anyway, one episode in, he seems like a pretty genuine guy that isn't over ran with ego and the all consuming idea of fame lording over his personality (Hannah B).  So there isn't much to say about him... yet.  In the coming weeks, we will all get to know Peter better and we'll see if he is ABC's poster boy for romance or drama, but so far so good.

The Episode

I'll get back to the women, but first off let's dive into the on coming traffic that was the three dates; The airfield, The one on one, and the cringe worthy Hannah B let's talk about sex embarrassment.  Starting off in Santa Monica (I'm guessing) we meet two of Pete's good friends (whom he has never met before) two Air Force pilots that are going to put the "ladies" through the riggers of Bachelor Aviation school.  With more puns then my book of Dad jokes (yes ladies all of us men are issued one at age 30, it's a secret you're just not supposed to know it.  I could get drone striked for revealing such information.) the ladies are tested on such aviation terms as; The Mile High Club, Cockpit, Sucking, Blowing, and a bunch of other double entendre word play that should make Mickey Mouse blush, ABC is owned by Disney after all.

But no group date would be complete without a "test", for this week's test of love I present to you Victoria (more on her later).  Victoria is soft spoken girl that is nervous of her motion sickness.  Honestly can you blame her, I'm sure that none of these early 20's "ladies" fresh out of college have ever made a first impression with a guy by requiring him to hold her hair as she pukes her guts out.  I'm not being mean her, I just imagine that these WOOO Girls have been to a party or two and have puked once or twice.  To be fair though, none of us would want to be in that position so I should stop being a jerk.  In the end she "conquered" her fears and Pete was there to comfort her in the gender neutral bathroom.

One more thing to add about Victoria, I'm getting a serious victim vibe out of her, she has never had a guy give her a rose, she has never had a guy ask if she is ok.  I'm sorry but she's a pretty good looking girl and you're telling me, no guy has hit on you, or made a very good play at her, EVER?  Wasn't she also the girl who had to raise her sister because her mom was on meth or something?  And did you see their house, sure I mean it was Alabama where $100K will get you a 15 bedroom mansion, but that place looked pretty nice for a dysfunctional broken home story.  My AMAZING judgement of character is just telling me, she's a basket case and is going to be the sad pathetic girl all season...

HOWEVER other viewers may have different opinions, and she could be a very sweet girl that has just never met a sweet romantic man in her life and her life has just been really rough.  Let me know what you think.

So back to our contest to see who is joining the 30,000 foot mile high club...  Let this be a lesson to all of you kids out there, if you aren't cheating, you aren't trying.  And if you are cheating, make sure that the producers want to see you as the winner of any contests that might arise on a group date.  All of that being said, Ladies and Gentlemen let me introduce you to Kelley, Peter's Four Season hook up girl.  I'm honestly saying that I don't think there is a windmill at the Four Seasons up in LA, but they did share some sort of dance, so something happened.  Isn't it just a little odd that they then did this episode at the same hotel that they met at?  What the other 1000 high end hotels in the greater LA area just weren't good enough?  Exactly ABC set this one up, like they set her up to win the airport challenge, but come on, can't you at least hide it a little better ABC, I mean you aren't even trying anymore to make the show look real.

Moving on to the 1 on 1 date with Madison...

It was a sweet date.

What you wanted more?  Ok catching the bouquet almost sent me to join Victoria in the gender neutral bathroom from the amount of cheese ABC was feeding me, but NO, it was a sweet date, stop being haters.

And because that date was actually sweet and what the show is supposed to be about, let's bring you back down to Earth with what the show is really about... Drama.  I'm sorry but any date that your EX set up for you is a bad idea, again, come on ABC can't you just let us try to imagine the fantasy?  Oh I get it now...  You asshats at ABC got me caring now.  Anyway...  let's talk about no-ones favorite Bachelorette and her, oh God tell me it's her 16th minute of fame, Hannah Brown.  So to be fair to our friends at ABC, Hannah's season was the highest rated season of the batchelorette yet, so of course they are going to whore her out as much as possible, and she's down with it too.  And let's be honest, if ABC wanted to whore me out on TV as much as possible, I'm down so I cannot really begrudge her for it.  Then again, she's on TV and I'm not so screw it, let the begrudging begin.

Seriously they are going to milk Hannah for as much as they can, she already did dancing with the stars, I'd expect her to be a guest judge on American Idol for Christ sake.  I mean get the initial appeal of her, she has that Southern Girl Next Door look to her, but then she speaks and man you can just tell she is full of it and herself.  You had 30 men in your season and you're single!  You're #1 and #2 options didn't work out as you tried with both of them, so now you're here for #3.  Not to mention that you're new bachelor fame has brought you loads of attention, and you have intermingled with the rest of the bachelor alumni brood, and you're still single?  If anyone wants to give their daughters a lesson on how not to be, watch this girl.  And I'm tired of your damn windmill story, we get it, you had sex with Pete, congratulations!  I guess I should be happy I don't get to hear about the bachelor being a virgin 4 million times this season.  "ABC, we find an interesting point, and drive it into the ground"

One final point on the dates and Hannah, ABC / Disney, you brought Hannah on the show to talk about sex.  You have asked the other contestants to tell one of their sex stories (just saying, if they were asking guys to give one of their sex stories, wouldn't that be "wrong"...).  All I'm saying, after all of this family friendly content, you better give me a rated R Deadpool 3.  Come on Disney don't puss out now (oh yeah they did a pussy cat joke too) don't stop now at sex, give me the cartoon violence.

The "Ladies of the first Night"

Holy God you're still reading?  Well good because you have come to the best part, let's shamelessly rate and jockey these women to see who will win Pete's heart (just saying it back but envision Chris Harrison's voice).

In order from which they arrived, not counting ones that have already gone home.  Rating them on a scale of 1-5 on their potential to win.  These are actually my first impression ratings as they came out of the limo.

Alayah - 2 - Seems ok, maybe should be a 3, seems vanilla

Sydney - 1 - Who?

Hannah Ann - 4.5 - Okay ladies and gentlemen I give you your first front runner, easily in my top 2.  She seems like all sorts of trouble though.  Interrupted other women's time at the cocktail party.  Shameless and will get at least one girl sent home for trying to warn Peter about her.

Sarah - 1 - eh

Lauren - 3.5 - This is a dark horse, I thought that she had some good personality coming out of the limo.  We haven't seen much of her, but keep an eye on her.

Victoria - 3 - Probably a 4 after watching the whole episode.  This is our victim girl.  I think she is a basket case who will constantly need reassuring.  I just see her as the quiet problem girl, should do well.

Mykenna - 1 - Initially I had her as a psycho 1 but I realized that she is a level 3 psycho.  Should be a villain this season.

Kelsey - 1 - Grammer?  Cheers?

Madison - 4 - She came with a giant paper airplane so I gave her a 4 for that playfulness.  After the one on one date, I feel good with that score.

Tammy - 3 - The house flipper, oddly are only Asian (or did I miss someone).  She got cheated by the producers when they let Kelley win the contest.  I think she is kind of trashy, her dress night one seemed to be coming off the shoulder in a way that didn't look correct.  My just being prudish I guess.  But hey I gave her a 3 so it's not all hate.

Shiann - 3 - Out of the limo I thought a 3, as the episode rolled on a 1.  She is in the running for most likely to warn Peter and then get kicked off.

Courtney - 2.5 - I cannot remember her, but she must be ok.

Kirra - 2 - I have a note, "bad girl" we will see

Lexi - 4 - showed up in the corvette.  Hey I award style points.  I thought she was pretty good until I saw her crying about something when they announced the second group date.  Emotional mess?  We will see.

Deandra - 1 - Showed up with a windmill on her back, hoping to be put on her back.  No potential here.

Payton - 2 - Why do we have a football player on the show?

Jasmine - 2 - Insert your own bad Aladdin joke here

Kylie - 1 - I don't know, uh..  she's dumb and farted.  I don't know there are like 30 girls I can't think of something witty for all of them.

Victoria F - 3 - Had a level of arrogance about her where she thinks pretty big of herself.  Has potential.

Savannah - 4.5 - This girl came out of the limo and kissed him up front.  What I "liked" about it was that it looked more like confidence than arrogance.  Keep an eye on this one folks.

Alexa - 1 - "Alexa, find me an Uber home."  "Ok, finding you an Uber to dumpsville, population, you."

Natasha - 0 - Originally I gave her a 1 but as the episode went on, how could I not give her a 0?  She's like the Jason Garrett trying to find another head coaching job.

Kelley - 4.5 - The Chicago lawyer.  Lots of potential here.  She met him in the off season and now has a head start on the rest of the ladies.  HOWEVER, I see signs that she might be an emotional train wreck waiting to happen.

And there we go, 3 hours worth of notes brought to you with love.

Any bets that they will go to Holland this year???

Bachelor in Paradise - The Elimination Round

Before we start I'd just like to remind you all that this is exactly where Jade and Tanner found love and got engaged last season.  Never mind all of the other couples that went down in flames in the same location, but in this one spot, two people did fall in love with each other.  I mean it has to work for someone right?  Right? right....

That was my best Chris Harrison impression, it's like the equivalency of when people say, "Such and such is the perfect place to fall in love."  On every other season of the Bachelor.

Oh sorry, time for a commercial

Buy a Toyota.

Back to the show.

Let's start off with America's favorite bed jumper, Izzy.  We all remember Izzy don't we?  She's the girl that had the amazing relationship with Vinny in the early part of the season, but then some dude with way too perfect hair and a light bulb showed up and that lit a little light bulb over Izzy where she decided that it was time to dump Vinny and move on.  Flash forward to today and we hear the interviews with Izzy about how wonderful Brett is, which of course only means one thing...

Eat at Burger King

It means that the relationship is about to end.  Brett had an "Amazing time" (trademark) with Lauren on his last date so he decided that maybe it was time for him to jump ship too.  After a quick chat with Lauren telling her how wonderful she is, he summons Izzy over for the sweetest piece of karma to be served up on National TV, at least until no one casts a single vote for either presidential candidate, Brett breaks it off with Izzy.

I know stunning right?  She takes it like a champ for the first couple of minutes, well at least to Brett, before she breaks down in front of the other "ladies".  In that moment of clarity she realizes, "I had something special with Vinny, and I threw it all away for a light bulb."  Izzy has a plan, she's just going to leave paradise and go running back to Vinny, I mean it has to work right, I'm Izzy and I'm still F'n awesome.  I mean who cares if my attraction to someone can be flipped on and off like a light switch (unintentional pun), I know that I'm Izzy, I'm just as awesome as the USC 2016 football team, I'm awesome and nothing is going to get in my way of getting my man back and getting exactly what I want!"  quotes go in there someplace, I forget where they start and end, and I'm too lazy to check my grammar.

This season on ABC and ESPN, the college football playoffs, start sometime in January, be there as National Powerhouses collide!  Now back to our show.  Oh and be sure to watch Designated Survivor, Blackish (which I heard someplace is nominated for an Emmy), and our new show Speechless, starting in two weeks...  Now back to our show...

In the Tahoe on the way home (good job putting tape over the logos, I had no idea what they were driving)  I mean shit you're running a damn commercial every 30 seconds, you really couldn't go out there and get the Chevy endorsement too?  Really?  Hell did you at least get 3M while you were at it for the tape.

Tonight's episode of Bachelor in Paradise brought to you by 3M, the makers of tape that you put on vehicles so we can pretend people don't know what you're driving.  And tape something that makes things stick together, like Jade and Tanner, they stuck together, right?  right?

As I was saying, Izzy calls up her man Vinny and quickly he becomes America's man, when he shuts her down.  "I ain't your #!#@%$#@ crutch."  Well something like that anyway.  It's kind of like at the end of Swingers when the ex calls after he just met the woman of his dreams and the conversation ends with him hanging up on her.  Seriously, if you haven't watched Swingers, go do yourself a favor and watch it.  It's from the guy that gave you Ironman for Godsake!

At this point Izzy crumbles like a fresh taco shell, I mean really what did she think, he was just going to be ok with the way he got dropped.  Oh wait of course she did, because, you know, women...  Anyway...  good for him.  Vinny, on behalf of all men that got a bad shake at one point or another, I'd like to salute you.

You know what would be great right about now?  A bucket of KFC, that's right, the chicken that you hate to love.

Speaking of chicken, I forgot about this weeks after thought, what's her name, do we care?  She got a free weekend trip to Mexico and a platter of chicken wings to deliver a date card to Nick, so really who cares what her name is.  I'd have taken that deal, call me!

That's right Nick, next season's bachelor (spoiler alert) got a date card so that he could take Jen out so that they could see if things were going to work out between the two of them.  It doesn't (spoiler alert).  But that doesn't mean they can't eat up 20 minutes of time on the show, it was either that or another commercial for some drug that I should ask my doctor about.  Seriously have you tried to watch this show live, just shoot me.

Jen and Nick go and talk to the most set up fortune teller who proceeds to read the Nick scouting report that he has trouble opening up, thank goodness you had those tarot cards to drop that little bit of knowledge on us.  Why not just tell them they won't work, oh I guess telling the future doesn't work like that, by telling us you know the future.

Anyway other crap happened, we get to the rose ceremony, Brett decides that his work here is done, so he drops his rose on the floor like a boss, throws up deuces, and struts on out of there.  Well that's how I remember it happening anyway.  Lauren gets to go home, Jamie, the chicken girl, and yep...

The next morning Chris Harrison is back to tell the couples that if they aren't feeling it, they need to break up.  You know because there isn't a real world back home where the couples could continue to see each other and date like normal people.  Nope it's either you go to the fantasy suite and make sweet sweet love or you go home.  I mean while the ultimatum?  Made me feel like they made a deal with the mafia to go down to paradise and find love or get the hell out.  What is a producer sitting back at their house with a gun to their pet if they don't play by the rules?  Actually I was thinking about it and I was wondering that if they didn't play by the rules, the producers would edit the show in a way that made them all look like the worst people on the Earth.  I can just imagine Chris now,

"I'd like to remind you all, that you signed a contract.  And if we don't like what we see, or if we feel that we're being taken advantage of, there will be consequences.  'Don't make empty promises' (he actually said that part), we have enough material on all of you over the last 5 weeks that we can destroy your lives.  So do us all a favor, find love, like Jade and Tanner.  Give ABC their happy ending, and no one gets hurt." - Chris

Or something like that.  Well the pressure got to Wells.  He took Ashley aside and told her that he just wasn't going to be able to perform in the fantasy suite.  He could have just talked to Evan, but whatever.  So yet again, no love for Ashley, she's pretty much a cunt anyway so good for him.  That being said, I'd love for her to be the next Bachelorette, I mean how awesome would that be!

Wow this got long...

On the challenge date, Grant decided that he needed Lace to prove to him that she loved him.  Granted she is pretty non-committal, but really...  I like how she's all, "I don't like tattoos"  While she has one on her finger, did she have a tramp stamp, I forget?  And she is dating a guy that is covered in them.  Obviously they weren't that big and issue in those other cases, but I still have to agree, really?

Finally, Amanda and Josh.  What about Evan and Carly you ask?  Forget them, they bore me.  Amanda and Josh, it was so cute that they went to a field to watch some kids play soccer.  It gave them some time to talk about how much they both want to have a family and how much they love kids and can't wait to have some one day...  Oh that's right Amanda has kids back in America, that she hasn't seen in over a month.  Sorry if I question her commitment to being a mother, but I guess being a celebrity is what pays the bills.

Predictions!!!

Evan and Carly - In the promos we see a whole lot of this bitch crying, probably misleading us into thinking that things won't work out (by bitch I mean Evan).  This looks to me like he's getting emotional before the proposal.  My guess, just like Jade and Tanner (have you heard about those two) Evan and Carly will have a wedding thrown for them by ABC in a year or so.  Sorry I can't lie to you, they will get engaged, but she will break it off once she realizes that it's Evan she's engaged to.

Nick and Jen - D.O.A.  He's the bachelor next season!  My guess they brought her on the show to make him look better before giving him the reins.  One more reminder that he's a wounded little puppy too.  First Josh, to make him look like he's getting bullied, then Jen to make him look capable of love, and then the chicken girl to give him a date card.  Good job ABC, you set it up so stealth like, you're F'n ninjas!

Grant and Lace - This is going to end so badly.  Grant is going to propose, Lace is going to turn into her bitch self and just say, "Whatever."  Pulls out a cocktail and strolls off the beach to go find her next conquest.  At that point Grant will jump into the ocean and do battle with a great white shark, it will be the greatest human / shark battle the world has seen since Jaws.  Afterwards Grant and the shark will go get tattoos and eat sushi together.

Amanda and Josh - ABC is just going to erect (with the help of Evan) a small little shack there on the beach so that those two can just get on with the sex.  Afterwards they will be whisked away on a worldwide adventure where they will travel as a couple for ABC's new show, "Amazing Bachelor Couple, Race".  After a year on the road where we'll get to see them make out in all sorts of uncomfortable places (like the back of a Volkswagen [bonus points if you get that reference]) they will conclude their trip in Africa, where they will adopt two children so they can go home and start a family and live hap--  Oh that's right she already has two kids...  I forgot...  Oh like I'm the bad person, she forgot weeks ago."

With that, I say farewell.  I will be travelling the night after the finale so I won't get to see it until later in the week.  Let's see how well my predictions go.

Bachelor in Paradise - Tacos v. Buggies

Welcome back everyone, it's been, what 4 years since I did one of these.  Alas that is all in the past as I have found inspiration to start the blog anew, and I'd like to thank a sweet little lady by the name of Ashley for helping push me over the edge.  Kind of like someone going over a cliff, or someone being inspired to jump off a cliff by her, like...  Oh I don't know Jared.  Anyway enough about Ashley and how she motivates people to want to shoot themselves, let's talk about how she feeds the coal into the train wreck engine that is Bachelor in Paradise.

Our story beings with Ashley and Kayla sitting along the banks of the ocean, looking totally natural, not like the producers had them sit there.  Ashley giving her best portrayal of the psycho ex-girlfriend, I mean seriously if this was a movie or some other TV show the next scene would have opened with a dead body being found on the beach.  Think about the scene in "Casino Royal" where the woman that James Bond just seduced ends up dead in that hammock, yep that was Ashley's handy work.  That's not to say that Kayla is some prize herself, I didn't like her when she got out of the limo a year ago, seemed fake and childish, which makes sense when you consider that her family is loaded and makes backyard toys for toddlers.  Speaking of which Step2, has some damn good childrens toys, I digress.

Continuing on with the show trying to look natural, Jared is sent to the jaws of Ashley next by the producers, because it only logically makes sense that he would talk to immediately after Kayla was done, rather than talk to Kayla.  At what point does he just say, "Bitch, you're crazy, back off!"  Nope just keep that hope alive there buddy, you're not doing anyone any favors, just put that wounded animal down.

Thankfully the Ashley's form of emotional euthanasia comes in the form of Wells, the MOST welcome person to arrive on survivor island...  Oh wait sorry wrong show.  Sorry I got confused, I thought they all went savage and cannibal with Josh trying to eat Amanda for most of the season, my bad...  Anyway, WELLS!!!  Welcome to the show, now please go ask Ashley out for everyone, which he promptly does, well done, good boy, would Wellsy like a treat?  Sorry there were a lot of dogs related to his return, I got confused again.

Wells and Ashley had a wonderful time eating street tacos in Mexico, and let's face it, what is better than street tacos in Mexico, clean ones...  Nothing, which is what else happened on their date, so we move on.  Oh some paper blimp burned up like it was foreshadowing something, "Oh the humanity!"

We move on to Chemical Imbalance Theater whos curtains are all made of (queue drums) Lace...  Grant, I like you sir, you seem like a level headed dude with a lot of patience, hell you're a firefighter for god sakes.  You'd make a great bachelor for the show if you didn't have that one limiting factor, he's like 2 inches too short...  What?  What were you all thinking?  Anyway back to Lace the girl that you remember from those years hitting the bars in college, you know the one always drunk telling you, "I'm fine, no really I'm fine!  Leave me alone I'm fine!  I love you soo much...  Get away from me."  Yeah her, thank God I never dated anyone like that, nope I was too screwed up on my own emotions being Ashley in college to notice...  hummm...  back to the topic at hand I think, yes drunken crazy chick.  Lace decides that Carl isn't getting enough attention in the pool so she takes it upon herself to strike up the conversation with Haley's dirty dancing partner, or was it Emily?  Oh who gives a shit they all leave this episode anyway, oops spoiler...

As a professional psychiatrist I can tell that Lace has some deep seeded trust issues when it comes to men.  It's as if as soon as they get close to her she feels the desire to push them away, like she doesn't deserve to be happy or loved.  It probably comes from years of abuse, which really is sad, really f'n great for TV which is why they put her on the show, but sad none the less.  She really should be thankful to have a guy like Grant to be there to put up with her shit, but I'm sure they'll be done by the time the show is over, or they run out of Tequila, whatever comes first.

Then what happened?  Oh hell, let me go rewind, really the show is 2 hours long, and 3 hours for the week, come on ABC you're killing me here.  Actually this show is pretty entertaining, hence the blog, still it's a long time.

Then let's see, Amanda decided that she was sick of pizza breath so she decided that her and Josh needed a night alone from each other and promptly headed off to bed without her *cough* soulmate.  This of course caused the strife that the producers had hoped for, hell the producers were even in the conversation for this fight.  Come on ABC now you're just being cruel, it's 2 AM and people need to get some sleep, this tropical paradise that you sent them to for weeks on end of nothing but drinking and hanging out on the beach, people need their siestas.

Skipping ahead...

The wonder twins (wonder why they were on here in the first place except to play the, "Which twin is it game.") decided that they had had enough of "paradise" and decided that since they couldn't find love they would leave together.  This of course meant the end for my favorite contestant, Daniel.  I don't care what you all think, Daniel is awesome!  My only wish, they would make him the next bachelor, but he'd be way too entertaining, which of course puts him in line even behind Grant.

Anyway like a pair of seagulls, the twins decide to fly by Amanda, squawk it up, and drop a bunch of shit all over the place.  "Hey Nick, I know we're great friends and all, and we all trust one another, so tell us what you think of Josh.  It's not like we're just going to go turn around and go tell him what you say.  No we'll be really vague and say, 'some people said'..."  Anyway enjoy that turd sandwich Nick.  Roid rage strikes up and BOOM Josh is all disrespected and wants to have it out with Nick, blaa blaa blaa.  Can't they just install the Thunderdoom or something next season, "Two men enter, one man leaves."  Oh hell yeah, they should do this show with all MMA fighters, that would be amazing.  Don't tell me they already have that show, does it take place on a beach, no it's in a stinky gym and some apartment I'm sure.

Ok back on point here, too many tangents.  What struck me about the whole Josh and Amanda thing, if they are a couple, if they do love each other, then why not leave together?  I mean isn't that why they are there in the first place (ok second place, fame is numero uno), just make sense to me.  And another thing, Amanda had two kids, young kids, shouldn't she be eager to get back to them?  Oh wait I did say young kids, they're a lot of work, plus the diapers.  NO! No you love your kids, go home with your man, and show them what love and affection look like.  Become the family that you were denied the first time around.  No really, I'm being serious they should just head home and be happy, eventually they do, the tabloids say they are still together, spoiler alert!

All of the drama with Josh and Nick made for a long night for everyone, which required that they all sleep in extra late the next day, especially Ashley since the Josh / Nick drama really took it's toll on her.  With everyone asleep except for Wells, it meant that Jami didn't have anyone else to talk to when she arrived.  I mean really where were the other 15 people, it's like they were sequestered or something, curse you producers!!!  *shake fist*

Wells and Jami head off on their date for street tacos...  Oh wait they didn't go get street tacos, no they got to race around in a buggy and then got to go swimming in some tropical oasis, which I'm sure came with tacos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjF032TDDQ

Sorry Ashley but I just don't think that your tears are going to compete with the nerdy chick that can talk about comics and Batman, to a guy that is essentially a nerd.  Hey, takes one to know one.  So back to train wreck theater for you Ashley...  Actually it's a guest spot on Millionaire Matchmaker, no really she was on the show, we watched it this past weekend.  But before that, it's time to stick a dagger into the budding love that your "best friend" is working on.  Seemingly pushing Kayla to pack her bags and leave paradise without Jared.  Question being, uh can't he just leave with her???

Anyway that's what cliffhangers are made of, we'll just have to check back in tomorrow to see what is going to happened.  I'm guessing Ashley pulls back her skin and reveals her true succubus form, killing all of the men who have scorned her during her time in Mexico, and then having Jorge serve her Tequila from the Kayla's skull.  Ok Ok Ok I know I'm going a little over the top here, but let's face it, am I that far off from what she is thinking...  God I love Disney!

So if you like seeing the blog again, let me know and I'll try to finish out the season.

Cheers!!!

Revenge - Padma Thorne

Sorry for the hiatus, things have been pretty crazy of late, anyway...  On with the show.

Over the last couple of weeks some crazy stuff has been going on like normal, but I'm going to be honest I haven't been as much of a fan of these story lines has I was last year.  It just seems like Emily is just kind of there, and the Greyson's are futzing around, add in the stupid Declan thief story and you just have some flat plots.  Nothing like last year where Emily was knocking people down left and right.  To me they need to crank up the intensity a little bit, and that may have came last night from a couple directions.

The first little piece of intensity  to me comes from Mason Tredwell, this guy is like a cockroach, nothing kills him and he just keeps popping up.  Last night was the revelation that he knows that Amanda is not Amanda, granted that doesn't point the finger at Emily but it will make for an interesting twist if that information comes out.  The most important impact coming from Jack, how would he react if he found out that Amanda was not whom he thought she was, he's already kind of on the edge right now.  If Jack doesn't take it well does that mean that Amanda decides to run off aboard Jack's boat and end up at the bottom of the ocean?  I'm going with yes there.

And while I'm on the topic of Jack, let me tangent for a minute.  What is the deal with his two BILLIONAIRE friends not helping him out with the problem with opening the bar?  I mean at the very least couldn't they offer him up a loan?  Sure Jack is a proud guy, but come on it's pocket change for Emily and Nolan.  Oh well if Revenge has taught us anything, it's that rich people like their money, and they aren't about helping unless there is an agenda behind it.

Back to Amanda, I can't really imagine that there will be too much of an impact with the Greyson's, I mean they should be relieved to learn that it's not Amanda.  Then again, now that crazy Kara has appeared, that might not really matter anymore.  It just seems like Amanda's purpose on the show is quickly running out.

On to interesting topic number two, Nolan's little assistant.  This character makes me wish that I had been writing the last couple of weeks because she is interesting.  There was a part of me that was hoping that she might be a good guy on the show, but it seems more likely that she has a very very nasty agenda of her own. My best theory for her is that she is the reverse of Emily last season, meaning that we got to see Emily behind the scenes so we knew what she was up to while the characters on the show had no idea about her true identity.  My thought is that we are seeing the fake side of Padma but she has her own plot of revenge against Nolan.  Go back to the last episode where she found the check from David Clarke, she brought up another company and asked Nolan about a lawsuit with them.  Nolan brushed it off in his "I'm awesome" way, my guess is that the heads of that other company didn't fare too well after the lawsuit and that Padma was related to them.  Now she is out for revenge on Nolan.  It looks like some of that came out this episode as Padma was digging deeper into the David Clarke check at Greyson Global.  Maybe she is just a really diligent accountant, but I'm guessing not.

Which leads us to Aiden and his comment to Daniel that potentially the money used to finance Nolan's company came from Greyson Global, giving them a controlling interest in Nolan's company.  Aiden, you're an asshole.  I'm not sure what his agenda is but I guess that he is sick of Emily pushing him away, which is another issue, what the hell is her beef with him, or anyone trying to help her for that matter.  She was a bitch to Nolan all last season, and now Aiden has gone about trying to help her here as well.  Sure he was more interested in keeping her on task in bringing down the Greysons while she was looking for her mother, but really, there wasn't time for both?  Either way it now looks like Aiden is taking over the plot to destroy the Greysons and he doesn't care how he does it, sorry Nolan, you're going to have a bad season.

Now let's talk about crazy Kara, that chick is coo-coo for coco-puffs.  I really don't know what to make of her at this point other than a plot device, which is kind of sad actually.  There is a lot of potential there to use the character for something, but as of right now it just looks like a stir it up piece.  We'll have to see how it plays out, but I'm not really that interested in her at the moment, which is also probably why this season has been as awesome to me as of yet.  Good, just not Great!

I think that the next episode is going to have a good deal of fireworks in it.  I don't think that we'll get the revelation that Amanda isn't Amanda quite yet to the general public, but might we see someone else find out who Emily really is?  There are enough people close enough at this point to discover whom she is, Mason, Kara, Aiden.  My hunch is that someone will find out, but then die before it can get out.  The revelation about whom Emily is seems like a season 3 piece of information.

Now then since a number of characters on the show really need to die, let's make a list of whom needs to die next, because it's going to happen, it's just a matter of time.

Kara - She is just annoying.  I figure as she is dying Emily reveals to her the truth.
Aiden - I kind of like the character actually, but my hunch is that Emily has to take him out to protect Nolan.
Amanda - I still think that she goes down with the ship.
Charlotte - She's dumber than a box of rocks, "Mom, I guess you really have changed."  dumbass
Declan - He can go down with the ship too for all I care.
Ashley - Does she have a point anymore?

Anyway what does everyone else think?

Revenge - Emily is Ninja Style

Welcome back my friends, how was your summer?  Hopefully it was a good one.  But alas we're not here to talk about pleasantries we're here to talk about some Revenge.  First let's jump back to the questions that I listed right after the finale.

Is Victoria dead?  No.  Woohoo!   I'm a winner!  Turns out that Victoria is in the witness protection program, I'm giving myself bonus points for nailing witness protection too.

Is Lydia dead?  We don't know, but if Victoria is alive it's likely that she is too.

Will Daniel and Ashley hook up?  Yes

I'm 3 for 3 so far

Will Jack find out the truth about Emily?  No, and guess what it's going to get even more twisted then before, just wait...

Charlotte dead?  Nope, that one was pretty easy though.

Will the government continue it's case against Conrad?  Yes they will.  I got this one wrong.  In hindsight it should have been easy to guess that one if I had already said "witness protection".  I'll give myself negative points for not proof reading my theories.

Mr. Takada?  I was right that we'd see him pretty quick, but what happen the ninja master get cancer or something, where is his hair?  Maybe the guilt of knowing that he fathered Amanda's baby is just too much for him...  Yeah right, that ain't happening.

And that about wraps up the guesses from last year, I'd say I did pretty well, I'll give myself a round of applause, how pitiful, I'm clapping for myself.  "Charlotte! What's the name of your dealer?  I am having some issues".

Ok enough history let's fire up the flux capacitor, hit 88 miles per hour and do some flash forwarding.  We open the season with a boat, the Amanda no less, at the bottom of the ocean.  And we it looks like someone lost an arm on board her.  So since we're firing things up lets fire up the wheel of crazy guesses for the first time this season.  First question, "Who's missing an arm?"

The easy guess would be Jack, but really that's just too easy.  Decklan? Like we'd care.  Nolan, nah Nolan is awesome.  There is the off chance that it could be the white haired guy, but I'm putting my money down on something a whole lot more twisted, Amanda...

I know you're shocked.  Take a moment to regain your breath, I'll wait for you...

Ready?  Ok good.  It has to be Amanda, don't let the man's shirt fool you, it's Amanda.  Here is the theory.  In the show this evening they made the comment that it was 4 weeks until her due date (they said it, go check your DVRs), the first thing we see after the arm is Emily doing her best impression of a pier support and int he caption it says, "Three months earlier".  I'm guessing that the boat will be found at the bottom of the ocean mid season, similar to how the engagement party was mid season last season, so if the timeline holds, that would put the ship sinking around Labor Day, the same as the engagement party last season.  What that means is that Amanda will have had the baby by then and it will be about 2 months old, so while slight there is possibility that Amanda jumped on the boat with baby in tow in an effort to run away from things.  No the baby isn't dead, don't worry about that, there is no way that the baby could be harmed, after all, who is the Godmother???

That's right ladies and gentlemen the best twist of the evening was dished up by Emily herself, unbeknownst to her of course.  But can't you just see it.  Jack alone trying to raise a baby child and the only help that he gets coming from, you guessed it, Emily the now Godmother of the baby!!!  We'll get to see Emily and Jack bound together, in love with each other, Jack in grief thinking that Amanda was the same Amanda of old, so I can just imagine that he'll be doing a lot of brooding.  Emily not able to tell him the truth and spare him some of the pain (not that it really would) because she'll be endangering her plans of finding her mother.  And with how Emily has been genuinely concerned about Charlotte, you know Emily will do the right thing.  It's going to be a laugh a minute in that dysfunctional household.  But wait it gets better...

Apparently the writers figured out that no one likes bad Daniel so we got to see a depressed Daniel wondering if he might have done the wrong thing with Emily in breaking things off.  Oh sure (Conrad voice) he'll say that he's over her because she cheated, but once he finds out about his pops with Ashley I'm sure that he'll find Emily a much better option.  Besides he really does care about her, and without his mommy dearest there to discourage him, he might develop feelings again for her.  I'm pretty much bet on it.  Emily needs a way to get in with the Grayson's (Don't think that Victoria is really going to work there) so why not go down the Daniel path again, you know for the next 3 months until, you know, she has to go play house with Jack in order to raise a baby.

This show is so over the top, and it knows it, that's why it's great.

Oh let's put a little icing on the raising the baby cake too.  Jack and baby have to move in with Emily to raise the baby because you know it's just not right to raise a baby in a bar, Decklan even said so, thanks Deck!

Should we get into Emily's little Batgirl / League of Shadows training course?  Naw toss that one on the back burner for a while.  (I couldn't resist the reference).

How about Conrad trying to screw over his kids for their trusts?  ...

Am I missing anyone?  Oh my I almost forgot Robin, living it up at the Batcave.  In other words Nolan.  Good to see old Nolan working out a little, sure he won't be all ninja ready, but at least he might be able to handle himself a little more.  I'm figuring that he'll end up saving Emily at some point this season as a result of his little bit of training.  Hey they say it only takes a couple months for that P90X to work so who knows.  After the way episode 1 ended I'm guessing that his first lines in episode 2 are going to be that he is out looking for a new place to stay since white hair is going to be coming after Emily.  We missed you Nolan, please don't go sailing.

And before I forget I can't leave without bringing up Emily's trip to Silent Hill (no I don't expect anyone to get that reference, but I will thank Nolan for bringing up flesh eating zombies, apparently I was on the same page as the writers, scary I know).  The question came up, "How were they able to find a visitor register?"  My take is that when the Grayson's closed the place down, all of the files were taken out as well, but not the copier for some odd reason...  Anyway who would think of grabbing a visitor register from behind the reception desk?  It's a pretty low priority item when you think about it, so I could see it still sitting there.  There isn't really much to speculate on the state of Emily's mom at this point, we're led to believe that she was crazy, but I doubt that's the case, I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

One more puzzling question.  The white haired guy knows who Emily is, he knows what she is capable of, and he has stayed away, why wouldn't he say something to Victoria...  Once again, Victoria is one step behind the rest of the players, she thinks that she is in control, but in reality she's behind in the game.  Any takers in thinking that the white haired guy is a part of the ninja squad too?  Maybe he's on the other ninja team, he's apart of Cobra Kai dojo, you know, "Sweep the leg."  (Karate Kid, anyone?)  So what are all these ninja masters up to?  (Yes I know they aren't all ninjas, but I'm having fun here).  Going back to last season it seemed like a likely theory that they might be the terrorist organization that Conrad was funneling money to.  If that's so then they have a vested interest in keeping things quiet.  But if that is so then why was Takada helping out Emily in the first place?  My guess Takada was a part of the group but broke away after the plane crash and has been using Emily to get his own revenge on the Greyson's and the ninja clan that betrayed him as well.  Ah yes the plot thickens..

"Adam wait.  You're talking about terrorists, ninja, baby mamas, witness protection, stealing trust funds, people named Decklan, you're crazy."

"Maybe...  I also remember when Lost was just a show about a plane crash?...

Welcome back."

The Bachelorette - Emily's kissing guide to love edition

Welcome back to the single greatest bachelorette blog in the world, at least no one has told me differently so I'm going to just go with that empty confidence.  So how is everyone this week, did you miss me?  I missed all of you, but last week was so dreadfully boring that I just couldn't bring myself to doing a write up.  Plus with the holiday in the middle of the week it kind of messed things up too.

So this week we find ourselves in the land famed for it's blue alcoholic drink, Curacao.  Must say those were some nice looking residences there in their bright Caribbean colors, that would be matched perfectly with the red face of one unluckly contestant by the end of the episode.

First up, my least favorite of the three remaining "men", Sean.  Now I'm not going to sugarcoat this, I can't stand this guy.  Why is he my least favorite of the three remaining, a couple of reasons.  First the guy is from Dallas, so....  Second the guy just looks like that dude a the bar that is scoring the chicks and taking them back to his place like it's just an average Saturday night.  Considering that in my younger years I wasn't the most successful in such activities, I despise him.  Third and what is a byproduct of number 2, the guy is fake to such a degree that is sicking.  Ok normally the fakeness of Sean shouldn't be that big of a deal, but in this case we're talking about a single mom here, and you just don't mess with that, you're either in or your out, but more on that later with all of our "men".

The date itself looked like a train wreck to me.  Oh sure they made out a bunch, but really Emily would make out with a hobo if he told her that he liked her shoes, so I'm discounting all kissing at this point.  I think before the date even began you got a pretty good idea of where this date was going to end up.  When the pre-date interview is focusing in on how he hasn't told Emily yet that he loves her, well you know where this is going to end up, dumpsville.  But Emily was doing everything in her power to try and help Sean onto the next round.  On the beach where she was asking him about his feelings, he just couldn't make that next leap in saying that he loved her.  Instead, "I see you brought some snorkel equipment." So instead of saying that he loved her he just found a way to avoid the conversation as a whole.

Later at dinner the conversation became Sean's attempts to say whatever he thought that Emily wanted him to say.  You know the normal, "you and I just work", "I could see you and I together forever", blaa blaa, but he failed when he forgot that, oh yeah Emily has a 6 year old daughter.  At dinner Sean looked like a raved wolf eagerly waiting for that date card to show up.  In his mind the thought of, "I've been half way around the world, I've told her everything I need to say according to my bar pick up guide.  And I really think those big displays of looking for her in Prague and chasing after her car at my home town will have made all of the difference, I'm sure to get into her....  (public service announcement...  yes ladies some men are pigs and will only have one thing on their mind, just be aware.  ugh I can't wait for Hailey to start dating, I'm buying a gun...)  Sorry got on a tangent there, the point is as Cuba Gooding said it best in Jerry Maguire, "Don't shoplift the pooty."  Which is exactly what Sean was looking at doing.  Considering that he didn't bring up Rikki except in courtesy at dinner, that was the final straw for him.  Emily isn't looking for a man, she's looking for a husband and father and while the practical joke last week about you being a boy was just a joke, it might not have been too far from the truth.  Sean you're a boy.  I might be a little overly hard on the guy, because I think that he'd put in the effort with Rikki, who knows.  Doesn't matter because he was sent packing anyway.  I think they cut some onions up in the limo ride back to force some tears for the interview.

Next up, let's talk about Arie our not really a race car driver.  No really look it up, he hasn't been in a race since 2010, and that was on a minor circuit.  Remember third string Jessie Palmer?  Presto!  Oh sure he drove in the 2006 Indy 500, but he finished 28th out of 33.  So the jig is up buddy, you're full of crap, or ABC is, or both of you.  Shame, shame on you both for lying to us.  And here I am believing that what I see on reality TV is 100% accurate, my whole perception of reality has been shattered, now I'll go cry with Sean.

Ok, I'm better now, back to Arie whom Emily loves to kiss as she has told us, compared to the other guys you don't like kissing???  To me Arie is the guy that Emily really really wants to pick, I mean she said it herself that she didn't trust herself to go back to the honeymoon suite with him, that pretty much summed up that he was going to get a rose at the tribal council.  But here is the thing with Arie, is he ready to be a father? My thought is no he's not.  The entire time that Emily was questioning him about Arie's typical day or night it all sounded a lot like a guy that wanted to be out and about around the town, he said it himself that he goes out to eat every night.  Did it sound like to you a man that was ready to settle down and play father???  Oh sure I think all men need a little straighting up in order to be a good father, but even men are clueless, there is the desire to want to do it.  To me it sounded like Arie was fine with having a child around as long as it didn't cramp his style.  And his attitude on how he would approach the relationship with Rikki, sure Emily was eating it all up because she wanted to hear enough that she could give him the rubber stamp, but his talk about how he would try to be her buddy and stuff, sounded a lot like someone who has no idea what it means to have children, kind of like my brother (oh snap!  don't worry he's not reading this).  It's not that Arie would be bad at some point in the future, it's that he's not ready to do it now.  Sure Ayden is my buddy, but he's also my son so there is a difference, maybe it's just me, but I'm going to make the assumption that those of you with kids out there know what I'm talking about.  Or maybe I'm being stupid.  Again not that Arie is a bad guy, I think that he's being honest with Emily, I just don't think that he's ready to jump into parenthood.

Finally we are left with Jef, the man with the audacity to actually question the bachelorette about how she saw the future.  I'm sorry Jef haven't you watched this show before, you are supposed to sit there and just tell her everything that she wants to hear.  Asking questions!  The indignity of it all!  How dare you have a two way conversation, get back to kissing like the other guys, damn you damn you.  I think I could actually hear Chris Harrison in the background asking the producers if Jef was allowed to do that, it was just so unorthodox ed.  Fun fact, Chris Harrison makes $60,000 per episode.

In all seriousness it was good to see Jef actually asking questions about their relationship and looking to build a solid foundation between the two of them.  Any guesses whom I like the most this season?  What I like about Jef is that he appears to be the most honest with them all and I think that he has a good understanding of what the future between the two of them is going to be like.  Sure he has no experience with a 6 year old or being a father, but he seems like he's ready to take it on.  But is the big kid ready?  Well at least he's self aware of the fact that he is a big kid I think that is a plus.

Really the biggest plus with Jef in my opinion is that Emily actually has a personality around him, she just opens up and isn't all barbieish around him, I think that he makes her a better person, at least on the show.  There is a natural chemistry between the two of them so he's the one that I'm rooting for.  Of course TV isn't always the truest indicator of reality, SHOCKER!!!  If we remember last season when Ben to me appeared to have great chemistry with Lindzi and he went and picked Courtney.  Again another season of love or lust, and really how many of the seasons actually come down to that choice?  The choice between whom you want and whom you need, who you date and who you marry, or something along those lines.  Is this season any different?  We have Arie whom Emily is beyond smitten for and Jef the guy that she naturally jels (intentional) with.  In the end I think that she'll end up picking Arie and it won't work out because he isn't ready to jump to that next step in life.  If Emily didn't have a daughter then I think they would be a decent match, but with the 6 year old, they are just in two different places in life.  That's not to say that her and Jef aren't in two different places, but I think he at least understands the consequences and ramifications of dating Emily, Arie, not so much.

Tune in in two weeks for the "exciting" season finale of the bachelorette that you won't want to miss.  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Thanks for reading